People You've Met

by watson 15 Replies latest jw friends

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  watson

  Born and bred a JW, I never really developed many relationships outside the org. With the exception of employees, virtually none. I wonder what would have happened if I had tried to reach out to different "interesting" individuals that I ran into over the years. I truly regret closing so many people out..

  Now that I am inactive, I find many people that I would like to know more, but still shy away from getting to know them because of my past. Having to explain being a member of a doomsday cult before moving on to more interesting things seems intimidating to me...What a weinie.

  How do you tell people about your past?

  Watson
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  leavingwt

  Here's how I handle it.

  "When I was little, my parents got mixed up with a Fundamentalist group, but later on -- I got out. It was a real eye-opener."
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  shopaholic

  I don't typically tell people about my past but only because I'm focused on my future. If it comes up naturally, then I just give a quick snippet and move on. Kind of like what I've done with my life...moved on.

  I totally get you on the staying in touch with folks. I used to do that but then stopped. It was weird at first catching up with acquaintances whose invitations I always turned down or to whom I came off as morally superior. For those folks, I simply tell them that "I woke up". One old work acquaintance replied "Welcome back to real life. I wondered when you would get out. "

  People know the witnesses are a crazy religion and most non-JWs really don't care about your religion, unless you are trying to ram it down their throats.
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  watson

  One of the real regrets I have is not getting to know some obviously amazing people. The opportunity has passed for those, but I hope to make up for lost time. Some of those are just people you see in a coffee shop, maybe waiting in line, siminar attendees, people in the same business or industry, friends of friends. All the people that would have found out I was a JW, and probably lost interest. There's a lot of strings attached when you "get to know a JW."
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  jamiebowers

  Now that I am inactive, I find many people that I would like to know more, but still shy away from getting to know them because of my past. Having to explain being a member of a doomsday cult before moving on to more interesting things seems intimidating to me...What a weinie.

  It's not like you're going to have to explain your past right out of the gate or all of the time. Don't be embarrassed...most "worldly" people find it fascinating.
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  Scarred for life

  I sympathize and empathize, Watson. I think a lot of us born-ins have this problem. I think it is the hardest hurdle to get over after leaving the JWs. I've only told 2 people that I was raised as a JW. I have found it to be a releasing and cleansing experience. Neither person has "held it against me". They find it to be an interesting fact about me and they are very glad that I broke free.
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  watson

  It was kind of funny yesterday. I mentioned to a co worker that I was not coming in in the AM. He asked if I was going to church. I said that my wife was religious and I was supporting her. (We've got the "Special Talk" ya know). He asked what church we went to and I told him a "Bible Study Church.." That was all he needed.

  The more I gain respect for people outside the org, the less I want them to know.
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  watson

  Don't gag, but I'm heading out to the "Special Talk." Will report back in, if you're interested.
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  dgp

  Watson, as an "interesting" person who got dumped, I can tell you this much:

  most non-JWs really don't care about your religion, unless you are trying to ram it down their throats

  EXACTLY. Unless you happen to meet a rabid fundie, we don't care about your religion. You know, the idea that everyone can be a good person, no matter what their religion is, is deeply ingrained in many of us, EXCEPT the fundies.

  All the people that would have found out I was a JW, and probably lost interest. There's a lot of strings attached when you "get to know a JW.

  I wouldn't call them strings, but ropes or, more accurately, chains. But these are not usually put in place by the worldly. It's the witness that belongs to an organization that frowns on contact with those out.

  It's not like you're going to have to explain your past right out of the gate or all of the time. Don't be embarrassed...most "worldly" people find it fascinating.

  Neither person has "held it against me". They find it to be an interesting fact about me and they are very glad that I broke free.

  Right on the money. The more we knew about the Watchtower, the more we would want to help you out, and the happier we'd be to see someone free.
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  peaches

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