by doublelife 33 Replies latest jw friends
Well done. Watch out for the official hounders' visit though, I have a feeling it will soon come. Be prepared as to what you want to say to them. I personally refused to meet with them, but that's just me.
Oh and it's time to change your screen name to singlelife it's a much less stressing existence.
Sounds like you are moving right along.
Good luck on your new adventures.
Pet sitting would be the best. You could tell your clients anything and not worry about them using what you said against you.
lisa
Thanks everyone for your responses.
alanv: "You probably feel you would really like to tell the WT to shove it, and disassociate yourself from them"
I do feel that way. It's weird because I'm past all the anger and resentment stage I went through when I first found out the truth about the "truth." But after the conversation with my mom over the weekend, it all came back.
teel: I will also refuse to meet with any hounders. As for changing my screen name to singlelife, I'm not exactly to that point yet. I think I will be soon but I don't make enough money to support myself thanks to years of pioneering. That's why I'm starting the pet sitting gig. That, and plus, I really love animals. I should have thought about this job earlier.
What I hate about this stage of fading (we're in fairly similar places, doublelife) is that suddenly all the attention you get from Dubs is based around the fact that you're "spiritually sick" and "need encouragement" when in reality you just want freedom from those sorts of value judgments.
Since the fade began I've had "friends" who NEVER ONCE invited me to do anything with them socially in the years I've known them now inviting me over for dinner, out for lunch, etc. That's not encouragement, it's condescention. How can they not see how insulting that is?!?
Expect a shepherding call just before the time the circuit overseer is scheduled to visit your congregation. One of the things the CO does is goes over every publisher's report card at the elder's meeting. When he gets to yours he is going to ask, "Did anyone visit this person?" A "no" answer always gets the PO and the elders into a lecture that after getting it once they don't want to hear it again.
Mad Sweeney: "What I hate about this stage of fading (we're in fairly similar places, doublelife) is that suddenly all the attention you get from Dubs is based around the fact that you're "spiritually sick" and "need encouragement" when in reality you just want freedom from those sorts of value judgments."
OMG! You've described what's happening perfectly. I didn't realize it is because of the stage of fading I'm in. And the attention isn't only coming from my family. One of my jw conditional friends sent me a message on facebook saying that she wants to hang out with me. This happened the day after I had this conversation with my mom. Ugh!
Good for you. It is better in the long run to be yourself rather than go through life pretending to be something you are not.
Nothing is easy. But when you know that you need to do something, you can either do what makes you happy or go on anti-depressants to help you cope with your poor decisions, like many weakminded people do in the organization.
You're going to go through some rocky patches, but trust me love, it's all worth it! It may take you YEARS to feel like you are normal, or much quicker. Don't be fooled, and don't get depressed. You are courageous for standing up for yourself, and being true to yourself.
Good job!
I am at a place with my mother like yours. She knows I have no intention of going back, and she wants me to avoid DF and DA so she can pretend everything is okay.
Good for you.
Roddy: Right now, I live in an apartment where each individual building is gated so the hounders won't be able to get to me. When I'm able to move out on my own I will have someone pretend to be an elder an get my publisher card for me. I might have to ask someone on this board for help with that. Then I won't ever have to worry about visits.
I quit!: Thanks. That's so true.
shamus100: Thanks for the advise and enouragment. I'm not looking forward to the rocky patches but I know that it's going to happen. I'm trying to brace myself now so that I can deal with it.
OTWO: I'm glad things are working out for you and your mom.
