For me, the book caused an almost incendiary fury - I clearly remember the panic [while I was still "in"...] that had spread thru the rank&file JWs during the Malawi persecution - their very real sufferings were held up to us as righteous "examples" of what OUR behavior should be under 'persecution', as well as being used to "prepare" us for the "Great Tribulation"... I also remember thinking at the time that the WTBTS was being uncomfortably salacious in the way they lingered over the stories of the sisters being gang-raped...
So when [decades later...] I read the "Crisis" book, I had an "AHA" moment - something about the WTBTS' breathless accounts of the violence in Malawi had sounded contrived or too convenient to me...
I had very similar feelings to you. All that Malawi stuff was happening right about the time that I refused to go to anymore meetings. Yes, there was a feeling of panic and I wasn't sharing that feeling. I couldn't take it anymore. My friends at school didn't live this way with all this fear and turmoil in their lives. I totally agree with you about them being "uncomfortably salacious" about the gang-rapes.
The Malawi chapter in Ray's book was the most enlightening to me because I remember it and I knew something was not right. It was like JWs were living on some other planet from the rest of the world. I had a big "AHA" moment, too when I read that chapter.
Great post. You expressed everything very well. Thank God for this board. I have no one else to talk to about this stuff that happened in my life. No one else would understand.