My husband and I have been fading for sometime. We did attend the memorial this year with his parents. We have had quite a few heart to heart conversations about us leaving the witnesses slowly. I know that I have spent a lot of time thinking about this. I was raised a witness, where he was not. I think for me it is more of a difficult journey. He didn't know that I had joined this site. I haven't hidden it from him, but if you knew our work schedule you could understand why. Anyways, he looked over my shoulder the other night and I explained to him what this site is and how I have been using it to express some of my thoughts and how I have been feeling. He didn't like it. I think it was the first time that he realized that we would be considered Apostate for our true thoughts and feelings.
I was a bit surprised by his reaction and need to take it into serious consideration. I am afraid that he is going to start pushing to attend meetings regular again. He was always the stronger in the faith between the two of us. I have a lot of love for God, but not the man made ideals. I keep picturing Jesus walking into the hall and tipping over things like he did at the temple or calling the governing body hyprocrites.
I can't go back and pretend. I won't pretend, I am not a liar. But honestly I may be just jumping the gun on this and my fears are coming out. We have a great relationship and we have grown up and together all these years.
I appreciate that I can come here and talk about these issues with others who have lived through this and understand what it is like. I know even talking to close friends who are on the outside----they just don't get it.
I also appreciate that I can read what others are going through or thinking about. But I just got to keep it simple. Anyways, just rambling now. I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend.
