Uh Oh!!! The elders are coming!!!

by Blue Grass 46 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Blue Grass

  Well after fading and keeping a low key I think the elders are finally going to get to me. In 2007 I moved to another city but quickly moved back home about two months later. The whole time everyone from my old congregation has been thinking I've been in another city. Well I came across a girl I use to like from my old congregation via facebook and sent her a message. She replied by saying "hi" and that one of the elders (the guy I studied with) wants my phone number. DAMN IT!!! They had my publisher's card for the last 3 years so I think it may be obvious that I haven't been active. I'm a little upset that this girl would even mention to him I contacted her on Facebook, don't really see why that's any of his business. On my facebook page I recently changed my info to reflect where I work and that I now live back in the same city with my old congregation because I got sick of hiding from these people by concealing all my info. They already have my address because I live in the same house I use to live in when I was active. I get the feeling if I don't give him my phone number I could be expecting a visit soon. Anybody have any advice?

  BlueGrass
• 

  rockmehardplace

  tell them you have a twin seperated at birth and you are the evil twin, the good twin was the baptized jw that moved away and is serving in an isolated jungle with no forms of communication.

  other than that, not much i can tell you except dont answer the phone or the door.
• 

  Finally-Free

  You're under no obligation to give anyone your phone number or meet with anyone. If they show up and if you're not ready to tell them to f*ck off, then just say that you're not feeling well and it's not a good time. If you can manage to vomit on their shoes while they're at the door it would be a bonus.

  W
• 

  peaches

  ((((((((((((((((((((( blue grass )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))).......for what it is worth.....run like hell....RUN FASTER!! or for sure they will catch you...shudder
• 

  blondie

  So who says you have to answer the door???? Unless he has real evidence of anything "bad" you have done, what can he do?

  Just monitor your phone calls and ignore all from jws.
• 

  Jim_TX

  You don't need to give out any personal info that you don't want to.

  IF you need to respond to this gal, just don't mention the phone number thing - or the 'elder' who wants to get in touch with you. (Act like it never happened)

  If she brings it up again - then just mention that all that info is already in the hands of the people that need it - and that if they want to contact you - they will (it may not be 100% true - but how is she to know? - also note the wording - I said 'they will' not 'they can').

  If the 'elders' come door-knocking - then that is another issue...

  Regards,

  Jim TX
• 

  troubled mind

  After four years of fading the Elders finally called on us . It turns out the only reason they stopped by was because I had 'winter' decorations out this past December and they wanted to know if I was now celebrating Christmas ...... I agreed for them to stop by because I wanted to talk to them , but if you don't want a visit then YOU JUST SAY NO !!!

  In your case I am sure they just want to encourage you to return to meetings . If you don't want to be bothered then do not give out your phone number #1 and if they stop by unannounced either don't answer the door or just say it is a bad time for you and close the door .

  It is all up to you how you want to handle it . You can just say NO THANK YOU .......they are not authority figures in your life anymore . The power they possess is only the power you decide to give them !

  I love the way one poster put it years ago ,she said just keep repeating a simple statement until they get it like : No thank you I couldn't think of any reason to meet with you . Or .....I couldn't imagine discusssing my personal life with you .OR.... No there is no need for you to come by for a visit .
• 

  Scarred for life

  I like that last one. "NO, there is not need for you to come by for a visit." Repeat as often as needed.
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  Every individual situation can be slightly different- different person, different elders, different family and friends.

  But generally, it is best to avoid them. If they catch you unexpected, don't start answering even the most innocent of questions after "How are you?" It's a start down the road to the questions they want answered.

  From reading stories lately on here from newbies and not-so-newbies, I have determined that my own situation is a little deeper than not wanting to meet with the elders. I have gone so far in the fade that I cannot meet with them. Sometimes, the elders leave someone alone because they don't have the goods on them. Still, if they hear that the person is still an influence on the lives of the active members, they might want to bug them to DA or try harder to catch them in a compromise of their former faith. Part of whether an inactive member needs to be hunted down is whether or not they consider themselves one of Jehovah's Witnesses.

  A huge way to see if the person considers themself a JW is to call them out for a shepherding visit or an encouragement call. Simply by agreeing and meeting with them, it indicates that the person will still answer to the elders. During the meeting, answering their questions further shows an accountability to the congregation.

  So in my case, I will simply never agree to meet with them. If I bump into them or they go out of their way to see me, it will end abruptly. If I ever were a captive audience and were asked questions, I simply would not answer them.
• 

  Scarred for life

  As usual, I agree totally with OntheWayOut.