I thought fading was going to be easy. (page 2)

freeflyingfaerie

When I was slowly coming out of the JW Coma, i stopped praying, stopped going out in 'service', missed more and more meetings, stopped answering phone calls for people to ask me to 'associate' with them, just going with what felt right~~and before i knew it, one day after a meeting i followed my heart, i looked around at all the 'brothers and sisters' and said to myself 'that was the last meeting I'm ever going to'..

..and it was. (that was January of 2009) And from that day forward, I kept walking...and walking...on my new path of freedom, and decided to take the backlash and hurt as it comes. And it did come. But not a day passes that i dont thank myself for listening to myself and fly away

The further i stepped away from it all, the more clear it was that it was a sick place to be. Its amazing to find that when you arent busy being brainwashed, you actually have thoughts and ideas of your own, and others have also. Original ones. The self-discovery and freedom from mind-control, life-control is worth the pain of losing family and friends ties. I want to be able to look in the mirror and recognize myself.

Enough about me. It is difficult sometimes, but once you see the cult for what it is, its a matter being true to yourself..

flipper

EMPTYINSIDE- It takes time. You have to do what you feel is best for you. It certainly seems to be bothering your nervous system and possibly your physical health - just by sitting through those stress inducing meetings. Any of us who have JW relatives inside ( I do too ) know how tough it is to be made to feel guilty for stopping attending meetings. It's been a mixed bag for me. My JW siblings older than me tried telling me I was hurting my JW mom and dad when I stopped attending. But they accepted my stance as time went on and respected I had differences with the organization on some things and was treated unjustly by elders. They realize why I was offended.

Family may try to make you feel guilty- but the bottom line is they have self serving motives for doing so. It's like the old expression " misery loves company " . THEY think they are saving you- when in reality they are bringing you back under the spell of cult mind control - then we are back where we started with no freedom of thought and no critical thinking ability. In time your mom may understand - just have to take it slow, pace yourself - yet keep involved with normal, loving human activities with her, like some hobbies, shopping, whatever non-JW activities you do with your mom. If she sees you love her aside from the JW connection outside the Kingdom hall - she will see you are still a great adult child of hers who loves her authentically. Just my small 2 cents. Hang in there, it gets easier with time, believe me, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

freeflyingfaerie

want to just clarify, i was disfellowshipped, i faded in the sense that i gradually left the religion of my entire family and of my whole life~~over the course of really about 6 months. Chose to meet w the elders for the inevitable disfellowshipping because i felt it was the right thing in my case, as so many friends and family were always hounding me, and i just needed to make it clear were i stood. That was what i personally needed to do so as to not feel hypocritical. Everyone's situation is so different

The Scotsman

I can relate.

I went through the exact same process - it was terrible.

My original plan was to back off from meetings gradually but keep some contact for my wifes sake - but that plan went out the window - once my mind had been opened the dros coming from the platform just made me angry and agitated.

Fortunately my wife opened her mind as well so we both stopped attending - moving house helped a lot!

But for those months I was attending the meetings - goodness gracious it was murder!

cantleave

We started a slow fade - then thought why bother and just stopped going. So far no consequences.

ldrnomo

emptyinside:

I've always wanted to pretend I was a psychiatrist so here's my diagnosis.

You are depressed. You need to stay away from all social groups that meet in buildings that usually have no windows. You need to stay away from people who pretend they care about you. And finally you need to ignore all people who say they are worried about you because you don't do the same thing they do.

After doing this for 1 year you will be cured.

oompa

yes...with the right reasons...you can quickly speed up your fade with a good chance at success...i accidentally faded....did not know i was even doing it....but if you are not careful you will be at meetings and hear something that sets you off and you will start loudly coughing or sneezing the word BULLSHIT!....ya....people will notice that....................oompa

Mad Sweeney

Slow fade is hard but you can accellerate it in steps.

I ended up quick-fading due to several circumstances which someday I will be able to relate and so far it's going well.

screwproof

What if you want to start going to church? I have not been a regular witness now for many year, only attending the memorial with my mom. I didnt go this year only the second time in 53 years and I wont go back to anymore. Do you think they will come talk to me and DF me?

shamus100

YOur prayers to the boogieman (jehovah) seem a little pointless, no?

I say just rip off the bandaid and quit going all together. Your story: You're depressed, seeing a doctor, and have to go because you're busy. No matter what they say, keep saying that. Don't listen to them, ever. Just keep repeating it until they get the hint.

I thought fading was going to be easy.

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