My brothers wedding...

by IronHill 20 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  IronHill

  ...is today. He stated to me that he really wanted me to attend the ceremony, so me and LoriJis will be attending the ceremony this evening. I dont know if we'll be ready for all of the shunning that will occur, but I want to be there and so does he.

  The funny thing is we never received an invitation or anything to let us know about the wedding. If I hadn't talked to him about my decision, I dont think we would have ever known. He did however ask if we could help them and pay for the wedding cake. I did, even though it will be a cake I never get to taste.

  That's the story of me and my brother though. We are seven years apart and never really developed that close relationship you would normally share with siblings, but he does usually contact me when he needs something. And if it's my power, I usually do help him out, well because he's my brother.

  I don't know. Just feeling a certain type of way for this special day for my brother, which I'm not a part of...
• 

  carla

  hmmm, not sure what to say to all of that! It still amazes me that dubs can shun family yet ask them for financial help. How does a conversation like that go? 'hello, how are you? (do not wait for response) so anyway... I haven't talked to you in years, you are the spawn of satan after all, but I would really like a new x, y, or z, how about helping me out?'

  What they don't realize is that to outsiders you (ex jw's) who help out family regardless look like you are exhibiting what a Christian or unconditional love is, I think to the jw's they probably chalk it up to your 'guilt' in leaving the borg and in this way you may make some sort of brownie points either to the Big Guy or to the cong & family.

  Personally I think your brothers behavior is disgraceful.
• 

  yknot

  Small inroads are better than no inroads....

  Congrats on gaining a new sister!
• 

  IronHill

  carla - I think that's one aspect witnesses tend to overlook. Money at times, is exactly that, money!

  yknot - I understand what you mean. It's better than nothing right, just attending the ceremony? You may be right, although I wish the situation were different. And a new sister I dont know...she doesn't like me very much!
• 

  looloo

  i feel for you , i know my sis inlaw gets married either today or tom (dnt know exactly as our invite must have got lost in the post !) my husband is her brother but is disfellowshipped and we have a little girl who is 6 but not invited either . it is less than an hour away from us and im sure my hubby will find it hard tom thinking of his little sis who only started shunning him after getting engaged despite the fact he got disfellowshipped 14 years ago ! another sibling has obviously got an invite with her 6 yearold though and she lives hundreds of miles away ! and im sure uncle child molester will have an invite too ! what a sad religion , but i just think its their loss not ours and my 6 year old will be bridesmaid at my sisters wedding in may despite having only met her once , simply because she is family and thats what you do ! (distance is the reason shes only met her once ) if i was you i would be tempted to go up chatting to people so they can not shun you unless they are very rude ! gud luck either way !
• 

  looloo

  i feel for you , i know my sis inlaw gets married either today or tom (dnt know exactly as our invite must have got lost in the post !) my husband is her brother but is disfellowshipped and we have a little girl who is 6 but not invited either . it is less than an hour away from us and im sure my hubby will find it hard tom thinking of his little sis who only started shunning him after getting engaged despite the fact he got disfellowshipped 14 years ago ! another sibling has obviously got an invite with her 6 yearold though and she lives hundreds of miles away ! and im sure uncle child molester will have an invite too ! what a sad religion , but i just think its their loss not ours and my 6 year old will be bridesmaid at my sisters wedding in may despite having only met her once , simply because she is family and thats what you do ! (distance is the reason shes only met her once ) if i was you i would be tempted to go up chatting to people so they can not shun you unless they are very rude ! gud luck either way !
• 

  out4good3

  but he does usually contact me when he needs something. And if it's my power, I usually do help him out, well because he's my brother.

  You're a better man that I if the circumstances were reversed.
• 

  Scully

  he does usually contact me when he needs something. And if it's my power, I usually do help him out, well because he's my brother.

  You mean the people he does invite to his wedding won't help him pay for the wedding cake? What's wrong with the bride's family? Covering their daughter's wedding expenses is traditionally their responsibility.

  Hopefully there won't be any @$$hole Elders™ at the door making sure you won't be allowed to attend. Wouldn't be the first time I've read about that here. Nor would it be the first time I read it here if the brother who invited you is bullied into uninviting you or doesn't intervene when @$$hole Elders™ try to turn you away at the door.
• 

  out4good3

  They won't help him pay for the wedding cake, and probably nothing else for that matter, but they won't hesitate to snub their nose at and revel in joy at eating a cake paid for with the money of a person they'd consider bird food.

  Yeah......this is REALLY a group of people I'd want to spent forever with!!!
• 

  IronHill

  I agree...funny me and my wife joke that they may not eat the cake because it may be demonized! LOL

  Another funny thing...I just found out my daughters (who are 6 and 3) are invited to ceremony and reception and will attend with their aunt. (This is their mother's weekend with them so they must have talked to her about it). These people never seize to amaze me! Atleast the girls get to go and have a good time, none of what's going is their fault anyway.