On your way "out" of the WT, did you experience physical syptoms?

by whyizit 18 Replies latest watchtower scandals

  • whyizit
    whyizit

    I'm not a JW, nor have I ever been. A friend of mine became a JW, recently baptized. All of the sudden she wants to spend all this time with me. Of course, lots of what she was telling me about the "Bible", didn't make sense. Probably because I have actually READ the Bible in it's entirety, and knew the magazines with the Scripture references were not adding up. You can make the Bible say anything you want, by doing it that way!

    Of course, I asked a lot of questions, and I would get answers to questions I didn't even ask at all. Eventually, I was rather abruptly dumped as a prospective convert. Of course, before this happened, my "friend", literally tried to make me angry and was quite rude and accusatory about my questions. I just brushed it off and said it didn't make any sense. Why argue over it?

    Any way, after that, I guess I was no longer worthy of spending ANY time with, because we didn't even have lunch together or anything anymore. I know now why that is. I guess I wasn't "becoming" one of them. Why bother spending time with me, when they can COUNT TIME spent with someone who might actually pan out to become one of their unpaid magazines sales persons? Good friend, eh? Only spending time with me, because it was an eaasy way to wrack up a few hours a week.

    NOW this person emailed me with questions about my beliefs. Which was more of a baiting tactic, rather than genuine interest. I'm non-denominational. I believe in the Bible personally, but I understand others do not. I also understand others have beliefs different from mine and have no desire to change. Their choice. I respect that. But, come on! Don't put words in my mouth and try to tell me what I believe, based on what someone else told you! Which is what this person tried to do.

    I basically explained what I believe and why. (Hey, they asked!) It was an interesting conversation, I thought. Evidentally things were not going the way the WT sales manuel said it should. I received a series of very curt and rude emails. (Basically telling me they didn't want to discuss it anymore.) I just let it go and went on with life. NOW I've been contacted again. Small idle chit chat via email. NO religious stuff. However, I found this very interesting. This person told me they have been having health issues. (Given the timetable of when these health issues started, it was right after I was given the mighty and abrupt send off.) Rapid heart beat, can't sleep, etc... This is all so wierd! Tell me to get lost, then come back and chit chat about nothing, and then tell me about health issues that started after our last contact.

    Since then, a long time former JW told me she had the same symptoms when she was discovering the truth about the WTS. Is this common? When something finally clicks, and a person discovers something isn't right with the WTS, do they sometimes become physically ill? What do you think it all means? Should I hang in there and just keep putting up with the Jeckyl and Hyde routine, or should I change email accounts and move out of state? (kidding...sort of...) Can someone tell me what the heck is going on, from a former JW perspective????

    Thanks!

  • chicken little
    chicken little

    Check out the term cognitive dissonance, it will help you a lot.

  • cult classic
    cult classic

    For years I had physical symptoms. Lots of anxiety problems, depression. Once we decided to exit, my symptoms started to subside. Not totally gone (as I still have family in) but 80% better

  • Scarred for life
    Scarred for life

    Anxiety and depression can cause ALL kinds of physical symptoms especially the ones that you describe.

  • whyizit
    whyizit

    Should I avoid asking "upsetting" questions, or is this simply one of the "rites of passage" out of the WTS? It has to happen, in order for the release from the mind control? Though I don't want to to see this person sick, I also have a very hard time holding back on asking things I am sure they never thought through before joining up with the WTS.

    Perhaps I am being petty, but when someone (like this friend) goes out of their way to be highly critical of my beliefs, and asks me about my "leaders" credentials, I don't feel out of line asking about THEIR's! And when they tell me it's a bunch of really good JWs ( though they don't even know how many) whom they wouldn't know if they plopped down in the seat next to them at KH, I can't help but ask...."Let me get this straight....I should research everyone else's relgious beliefs, including my own....however, if I were to tell you the same thing-- that they are some highly spiritual nice guys who I wouldn't know if they sat right next to me, you think that would be acceptable enough?" You can't name any of them, you don't know what race they are, you don't know if they are replaced upon death, you don't know how old they are, you don't know their credentials, you don't know the process by which they were chosen, and that is suppose to make me trust that they alone speak for God? And they know more than I do about the Bible? Sorry! Not buying it.

    Of course, then I'm accused of not trusting them. Heck no, I don't trust them! I don't even know who they are! Neither do YOU!

    I don't care if I talk about religous issues or not. There is plenty to discuss besides that all the time. But I don't feel the need to recoil and hold back, when I know something isn't right. However, I don't wish to see someone become sick over the conversation either. *Note: The subject of religion was NEVER, EVER brought up by me. But I have always been told off and cut off at the end of each conversation, as though I were the one who brought it all up!

  • cult classic
    cult classic

    You can't control someone else's reaction to a conversation. If this is an adult and they bring it up what else are you supposed to do?

  • Scarred for life
    Scarred for life

    You are not causing your friend to be sick. You are saying things that are making her THINK. She is struggling with her choice of religion and she is feeling GREAT anxiety. You are doing nothing wrong. I feel sorry for your friend.

  • Soldier77
    Soldier77

    I'll just add my own personal experience. Since I've started questioning everything that I've been taught as a born in JW, the stress level is absolutely mind boggling. It is against my moral being living a lie yet I have to slowly fade and withdraw from this organization so I won't be shunned to lose the communication of my family that is still in the org. It's a rock and a hard place alright. The decision that I know I will have to face is my sanity or my family. I think I know which way I'll go, but I'm trying to give my family an opportunity to see the "light".

    The stress has literally made me physically sick, I want to vomit the moment I start getting ready for the meetings, I can't sleep at night, I have stress related ailments that afflict me if I don't step back and take a deep breath.

  • peaches
    peaches

    yes,,,,

  • gubberningbody
    gubberningbody

    Cut off the gangrenous contact. Nothing good can come from dealing with a JW.

    Take a page out of their own manual:

    "...you don't clean up a pig by getting into the pig-pen, you clean the pig up AFTER it's out...(and then you slaughter it and eat it)"

    Until this person comes to you and says "I've left the looney bin." Forget about her.

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