How many you you hated to wait in the car while someone was on a good call!

by life is to short 34 Replies latest jw friends

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  Aussie Oz

  I wish you well for the future with your husband...

  It seems he has used you as his 'sugar momma' even though you were much younger. Why was HE not working much? Because he found he could mould you to do it for him i suspect.

  So, he is now 58 and thinking about retirement i am sure. I can almost guarentee that he gave no thought to providing for the future for you either. I know that the WTBS sets men up to be bad providers in this department. He will keep the staus quo and expect that you will keep working to support him because by the time YOU get to retire he will be in his 80s and maybe demented too. Me, i could live in a tent so to speak, but to expect my partner to do the same would be pure selfishness.

  It is a sad fact of life that we teach people how to treat us. When somebody screws us over and we accept it, the other person reasons ' ok, thats how they like it'... not in so many words, but they get the message that thats how your lives will work. I learned that the hardway i can assure you!

  Don't feel bad that you were young, and the problem is not so much about the age difference as his lack of consideration for you right from the start i suspect. He should have been delighting in watching his young wife blossom, take chances, grow and mature. Not using her as a prop for his life.

  My wife (who was never a JW) is pissed of with your man... she says it's illegal to leave dogs and children in a car for long and what he has done is in her eyes abuse.

  I am no counselor, i can only speak from my own experiences with marriage, divorce, new girlfriends and remarriage.

  The question for you is what now? Will he change? Can you get him to read what you feel about him? Will he even hear you? If he is unable or unwilling to understand how you feel i suggest some counseling for yourself to find your way. It may be ironic, but you, even though younger than him, may have outgrown his childlike need for someone to look after him. Time for him to grow up.

  regards

  oz

  you can pm me if you want to move off the thread on this sort of matter...
• 

  finallysomepride

  Waiting in the car was great, even better was not going out on FS at all
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  crapola

  I didn't mind because I didn't have to talk to stangers as much. The only time it did bother me was when it was time to go home and they stayed and stayed. I was more than ready to go home by then.
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  WTWizard

  I preferred waiting in the car instead of getting stuck generating them. To me, every minute I wasted in the car was a minute I wasn't out there talking to men (and just men, never anything else) trying to get them into the cancer. Every minute in the car is a minute I didn't have to worry about being taken into a call and wondering what grotesque sight was waiting for me. I also liked to fog up the windows so they would have to waste even more time clearing them.

  I did mind it, however, if it was time to go in and they kept me around in one call after another. There was always "After this one last call" (sounds like a drug addict?). The whole point in wasting the time was to get out of talking to just plain men (and never anything else) and/or getting dragged into some filthy dumps or to see what gross monster they could show me next, not to waste the remainder of the day.
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  sooner7nc

  I too, loved waiting in the car.

  My advice to you...run like hell. Pull a "Lot" and get the heck outta Dodge as soon as possible. Your right, life is definitely too short to waste time in something as contemptable as your marriage sounds. Run girl! Don't look back, just run!
• 

  man in black

  The flip side :

  My wife and DA' ed ourselves, and two weeks ago an elder came to our door and talked to us for over an hour (it did no good for him just

  reiterated the reasons why we left)

  After the hour he said, "well I have to go, I have a carload of the friends waiting for me"

  he made no mention of that throughout the visit, but on the bright side, there was a carload of witnesses that did nothing for over an hour !
• 

  flipper

  LIFE IS TOO SHORT- I too did not like waiting in cars during field service. Especially if it was a great sunny day and one which a good hike in the woods would be much more enjoyable ! I too was forced to wait in a car with " JW's who had mental problems " - it's a real drag to be sure !

  As regards your husband- you are a good friend to me and my wife. We just want you to be happy. As close friends to you- that is our priority. If that involves leaving this man due to his disrespect for you - so be it- but it's your decision and one only you can make. But we are here to support you in whatever decisions you make in your life. Our friendship is unconditional - you know that. Hang in there, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  So much about being a JW is the opposite of what it should be.

  24 and 41 is not so terribly extreme. Sure, it raises eyebrows in gossip circles, but your thoughts that the sky is falling the end is so near so it should not matter, ....that thought is excellent for JW's. It should satisfy everyone.

  I never thought too much about having to wait hours with a crazy JW (is that redundant?) in the car. For the most part, JW's saw waiting in the car during recruiting as "easy time" to count. Time was way more important than productivity to the average member.
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  doublelife

  I, too, didn't mind waiting in the car. The main reason being that it meant I didn't have to talk to anyone. The secondary reason is because I have a thyroid condition that caused me to be extremely tired all the time. I'm under treatment now and am doing fine. But, at the time I didn't realize what was wrong with me and I wasn't taking any medicine. The whole day I was out in service I was so lethargic that everything was a blur. I couldn't even get involved with conversations in the car group. I would just listen to people talk and it felt like I was in a dream. I was very disconnected. Maybe if I had a job with insurance instead of pioneering I wouldn't have had to go through that.
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  gubberningbody

  I'd go to sleep. Of course in the summer that was nuts. That's when I'd say "Leave the keys, so we can get the AC going if we need to."

  Sometimes I'd look up something I was curious about using the cross-references.