Sylvia, I know exactly what you are saying.
After my brother died on a motorcycle at 20, I have never let anyone go out the front door without worrying. In other words...it can't happen to me doesn't apply anymore.
Infact, I anticipate and expect more calamities so at all times I am prepared. As negative as this sounds, I will never again be in a state of utter shock that I was at 24 when my brother died.
There have been more calamities in my life, not easier, but prepared...... quietly and mentally prepared.....This was a major change in my life and my inner being.
Love to you and your family.
r.