It's been a while since I've posted because I've been so busy looking for a full-time job so that I could leave my husband. Well, I've finally got one today. Actually, it's the same job I've had for about a year but someone else just put in their notice to quit so my manager finally gave me full-time status. And I'm glad because I like where I work. I was nervous about trying to find another place. All that stress and searching is finally over.
Now, I get to look forward to more stress as I find a place to live, leave my husband, and go through a divorce. Plus, I'm trying to figure out the best way to break the news to my mom. She was emotionally abused by my dad so I'm hoping she'll understand but I just won't know until I talk to her. She likes my husband as does everyone in my family. They'll all probably be on his side especially since they just found out a couple of months ago that I haven't been to a meeting in eight months and they know I'm not going back.
This Thursday will be my 10 year baptism anniversary. I really wish I could df but I won't since my membership is the only thing keeping my mom from shunning me.
I'm starting to meet and become social with more people. Last night, I performed in an actor's showcase. Afterwards, I went drinking with a couple of actor's from my acting class. It was great and kind of surreal. I was looking at them drinking and smoking and laughing. You know...having fun. And then I thought about the fact that I was hanging out with them having fun too(but I wasn't smoking). I'm not sure if I can really describe how I felt but I don't think they realized how much being there with them meant to me. I was able to relax. I didn't have to have this emotional barrier up because of the mentality that they're "worldly" and that they're going to die at armageddon. They don't know that I'm a former cult member though. I might tell more people in the class but gradually, not now and not everyone at once. But two weeks ago I did tell my teacher so now she knows. She said that of all the people that have came to her with their problems that I win. She's so emotional that she almost started crying but she held it together.
Well, that's what's going on with me. Even though I haven't posted in a while I'm still on here reading everyone else's threads when I get the chance. But, it is nice to finally have other things to do besides being glued to this board.