OMG! I am 50 this year! Why am I freaking out? Anger - how do you cope?

by hamsterbait 47 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  hamsterbait

  I was told when I hit thirty and was catastrophising, "just wait till you are 40, it just gets better."

  HA!

  I am fifty in a few weeks. All I can think of is cancer, all the relatives who are now dead the friends who are dead. In my remaining 20 years i cannot even hope to achieve the things the Borg discouraged me from doing when I had a chance.

  I know now that the lovely promise of "Paradise" in my life time is a pack of lies, manufactured by a book publishing company. And every day I ache more, forget more, get the "foggy brain".

  Smelling the flowers isnt enough. But I dont want to end up like the country lad in Grey's "Elegy in a Country Churchyard."

  Moving though it is, I dont want to waste myself "on the desert air."

  I am just so plain angry tonite. At myself, for taking others crap. At them for tricking me into eating it.

  How do you cope with days like this?

  HB
• 

  troubled mind

  Personally ....I drink !!! Shot of tequila shot of vodka mixed with squirt ,seems to kill what ails ya .... :) Seriously I am in the same boat with you buddy .....next yr I hit 50 and not real happy about all the wasted time ,but hell I don't want to make the mistake of wasting what's left either .So I just try to enjoy each day as it comes and thankful what time I have left is no longer in a mind numbing religious order .
• 

  Psychotic Parrot

  I'm 22, do you envy me at all?
• 

  Finally-Free

  I'm 52 and feel much the same. So far I have no tips on coping. Sorry.

  W
• 

  cult classic

  hamsterbait - I asked a similar question about dealing with negative emotions. I don't know how to put up the link to the thread but if you click on my name you can find it under my topics started. many of the long time posters here had lots of helpful advice.

  Sorry you're feeling angry. I struggle with that from time to time. The religion took so much from us.

  Cult Classic
• 

  Psychotic Parrot

  You're all roughly the same age as Madonna Ciccone, does that make you feel better?
• 

  Altar ego

  I am 32. I started to realize this COULD be crap at around 25. Accepted it was crap at 29. Now, (without getting into too many details...hum), I am catching up on things I missed during my teen years. And it's GREAT!

  It's reading experiences like HB's that motivate me to enjoy life to its FULLEST while I am still good looking, in great shape, attractive....etc., before I hit 60 and realize my life was a waste.
• 

  mrsjones5

  I'm turning 45 in 6 days. I'm just amazed to be in my 40's. I think I'll feel the same way when I hit 50 in five years.
• 

  Found Sheep

  my hubby is going to be 50 is a few weeks... not sure what to do to help him? at this point he weems fine about it?!
• 

  AudeSapere

  I understand the anger. But if I think about it too much, I start to panic and then I'm good for nothing.

  I'm 50 this year, too. Today I got my 2nd letter from AARP - and this one included cards~!!

  If I think too far into the future, I get freaked out. I have been fretting about 50 since I was in my mid-30's.

  Having already survived cancer, I am no longer looking and waiting for it. I *do* keep up on various screenings and watch my diet and lifestyle habits.

  Starting with my 40th birthday, I also try to make having fun a top priority and each summer - around my birthday - I find a new fun challenge to do. Skydiving and motorcycle riding and two activities that I treated myself to in recent years.

  This you I'm thinking a cruise with a few close friends. Wonder if that AARP card will give me a discount...????

  -Aude.