It's done. I did it. I moved out.

by doublelife 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • doublelife
    doublelife

    I'm officially living on my own and it feels great. I was worried that once I move out I'd regret my decision but I knew right away that I made the right decision. I was nervous about telling him. I had him meet me at a restaurant so we'd be in public. He was calmer than I thought he'd be. He said he expected it. But, I think he was surprised at the way I did it without telling him first. Then, he said that he wished I would've told him so that we could've stayed together a little longer to save money so that we would've had more money to split. He also asked me if I left the apartment clean. I was a little surprised he asked me that. I was too busy packing to clean. I feel bad for him though. Yesterday was a bad day for him. After I told him I moved out he said that he just found out that his grandma has alzheimer's. He's still on my facebook but we've both changed our status to single. A lot of his friends commented in shock. None of them were expecting this. They didn't even know that I was inactive. We're not going to go through a messy divorce though. We've both agreed to just split things ourselves so that we don't have to involve any lawyers. We're just going to do a no fault divorce. But, he did ask for the ring back. I asked him what he'd do with it, give it to another girl? And he said yes. I couldn't believe he admitted to that. I told him that was wrong and if he did that and she found out she's be pissed. He just said, "She'll never know."

    So I get home and my moms calls me. I was going to wait til the next day to tell her but since she called I thought I'd get it over with. I was shocked by her reaction. I really thought she was going to freak out but the first thing she said was that she wasn't crazy about him. She blames him for my spiritual decline. But she went through emotional abuse from my dad so she understood. But, she didn't waste any time in telling me that I have to stay single forever. She said that if I start dating that I'll be sinning in Jehovah's eyes. She said she knows it's a decision that I have to make but she hopes I do what's right. And of coarse she said this is the perfect time for me to come back to Jehovah and I that I need him right now.

    She also said something else that bothered me. I deleted all my jw friends from facebook and my mom saw one of my friends a few weeks ago and she told her that I blocked my email from her.(I guess she didn't want to admit in the kingdom hall that she had a fb account) Anyways, this friend wasn't my best friend and she's done a lot of things to hurt me but she was also there for me when I went through a lot of hard times. I feel bad for rejecting her like this but I can't have her on my fb because then it would get around to other jws that I've pretty much become worldly. I've thought about calling her to explain my situation to her but I'm just not sure how she'd react. I'm pretty sure that she'd tell others. I just feel so bad for hurting her without being able to give her an explaination. This cult sucks!

  • JWoods
    JWoods

    Good job. I was wondering if this was really going to happen, when you posted about it before.

    I personally think that was a pretty cheap shot by your ex - asking for the ring back to give to somebody else.

  • Lozhasleft
    Lozhasleft

    Big brave step you've made....well done and I wish you happiness in your future...as for the old friend its up to you but I wouldnt extend any trust if I were you....

    Loz x

  • snowbird
    snowbird

    (((((((DoubleLife)))))))

    1/2 dozen is all I can afford.

    Syl

  • moshe
    moshe

    It sounds like you will do just fine- don't let you mom blackmail you- it's your life.

  • MsDucky
    MsDucky

    The ring is yours. You don't have to give it back.

  • Balsam
    Balsam

    Feels good don't it. I remember how I felt when I moved out. I left my wedding ring with my ex too I could care less what he did with it. He has since married and I think it would be funny if he still hanging on to it. LOL

  • Quirky1
    Quirky1

    How long were you married?

  • zoiks
    zoiks

    Good for you!

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    Don't give the ring back, if only to save some poor woman from getting a second hand ring. It sounds like he's trying to get some cheap 2 for 1 deal. That's ok for pizzas, but not for wives. Sorry, but I just think that's pretty freaking low.

    You're probably better off without someone like that.

    W

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