The Beginning of the End for Me? (page 3)

rem

144,001

Thanks for your concern. It seems that some other developments have come up. It is indeed the end for me as far as this religion is concerned. I'm not too worried about it since I've been away from the JW lifestyle for a while now. It seems my in-laws were responsible for turning me in, and the only reason I did not want to be formally DF'd or DA'd was so I could still associate with them. Now it seems as there is no longer any point in trying to keep association with them, since they have decided they don't want it.

The elders came by my house (uninvited) yet again to inform me that a committee was created and they wanted to know if I would like to attend. I told them I would think about it. They are waiting for a call from me now.

I've pondered it and I'm still not sure what I really want to do. Part of me just wants to blow it all off and let them do whatever they want - it won't affect me. Another part of me wants to attend the meeting and see what actual charge and evidence against me they have. It would be more for my entertainment, really, than to defend myself.

I do agree that being officially DF'd will allow me to be more free and it will make things easier, such as holiday and birthday celebrations if we choose to observe them in the future. And of course the book recommendations will go right back up after I'm DF'd! :)

I'm almost positive I will be DF'd by the end of this month, if not by the end of this week. I'll keep you guys updated if anything interesting happens.

rem

"We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking." - Mark Twain

144thousand_and_one

rem,

When I was 14 (22 yrs ago), I got into some trouble with the law of the land and found myself facing a group of elders at my house one evening. I wasn't a baptized JW then or ever. They threatened me that if I didn't repent and stop associating with my best friend (also an ex jw), they would announce me as "disassociated." I still remember their threats: "You're this close (with two fingers in my face) to getting your name announced. Jehovah will withdraw his spirit from you and no one in the congregation will associate with you." I responded: "Great, because I don't want to associate with any of you clowns." I continued to hang out with my best friend, and stopped attending meetings. They never announced my name, probably so they could keep in good graces with my dad who was the grand puba at the time.

By the way, that friend is still my best friend, and is like a real brother to me. His friendship has proven to be invaluable to me over the years, and I'm indeed grateful for the choice I made at the time. The only regret I have is that it didn't happen sooner!

May I suggest a good dose of exercise during this time. A strong body comes with a strong mind, and you're going to need the physical and mental strength to get through the unpleasant aspects of this process. Good luck brother!!!

yrs2long

Rem,

Please keep us posted and also tell us in the subsequent days, months, etc what effect whatever action they decide to take has on your life.

Take care.

QUEENIE

I know what walking on egg shells is all about be one dealing with someone in the ORG or not!! ANYWAY GOD and ME are my best friends...ELDERS, and active JWs at least in this local neighborhood can sit and spin as far as we are concerned..I am old 55 yrs old so one does not need to be carded just cuz I am celibate--I am able to read sooo when I desire to I am able to pull out a King James Bible and I have a hunch they have come to realize LINDA is not a KISS ass person BUT a kck-ass type so they had BEST pass me by if they is SMART!! AND EVEN MORE SO WHEN IT COMES TO the rest of us babes!!!

Utopian Reformist

REM:

Always always always remember, it's YOUR HOUSE, not the congregation's or the elder's. The best way to prevent unexpected, unannounced impromptu visits is to prepare a strategy in advance.

The strategy is simple. You are a VERY BUSY person with multiple responsibilites at work, and at HOME. You are very busy during the week AND during weekends. Your home is PRIVATE and not a meeting place.

If you can remember this policy, find a natural way to express it firmly and politely, and give them (elders, witnesses) a way out, you will be successful in putting off the inevitable until you're ready.

Now, what do I mean by a way out? I mean you must "throw them a bone" to keep them at bay. So, simply let them know you will check your schedule and get back to them, even accepting their home phone numbers if necessary.

Another method I use is to be VERY firm (I am naturally agressive, intimidating, and confrontational) and make sure they know you do NOT accept unannounced visitors and require advance notice before making plans with ANYONE. Assert your privacy and the management of your personal time. It's your right to do so!

Now, go get'em......

QUEENIE

WE GOT LOADS OF STICKERS ON DOORS SAYING -- NO JWs please..LISA has been known to share her demonized views hey we is doing our BEST folks !!!!

Beans

OK WE HAVE A FEW OPTIONS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chances are they will ask you to come in for a chat and it will turn out that a committe will be there waiting for you,that is if they ask you to go to the KH,so refuse that one because you won`t be prepared!And to boot usually the judicial committe is also the investigative committe!

They will charge you with apostacy,definition from the dic: a person who renounces a belief or principal, so here is what you say :"You should check both sides of the matter"Awake Oct 22 1973 page 6
"You should be willing to submit everything to scrutiny" Awake Aug 22
1984 page 22
"You should not have a closed mind" Watchtower June 15 1985 page 12
" That, far from being wrong,it is your duty to examine religion to see if it is true or false" WT Nov 15 1963 p 688
"You are encouraged to exhibit freedom of thought" Awake June 8 1994 p 21

Now what is interesting a friend of mine went in with the same charge against him and he bugged himself and the most interesting part was when the elder said"what we are interested in is what you were thinking about" and having heard this you can see that this is a cult trying to control his thoughts!

So I say prepare yourself and just at the end of you meeting before they decide your fate say Brothers I`ll make it easy for you I`m leaving and remove yourself

Beans

rem

Beans,

Some good advice. The meeting is already scheduled for Monday evening. I would like to avoid being DF'd or DA'd if possible - it's almost like a game to me. The longer I stay in, the longer I shove it in the noses of the people trying to expel me. The only problem is that it is a gamble. If I can squeak throught the meeting without being DF'd, then that is great - I've bought myself some more time and I have just flipped the bird at my in-laws who turned me in. But, if I go through all of that and they decide to DF me anyway, then I will feel like I've lost the game.

If that happens, could I just say, "Well, since you have decided to DF me, I would like to DA myself instead". I'm assuming they will say, "Too late, we already DF'd you!". At that perhaps I could say, "Not so fast! I request an appeal." To which they will have to grant. Could I DA myself right after the appeal is granted? I could live with a DF, but I'd rather be DA'd if there is an option between the two.

rem (notice my new profile pic - it's from the www.watchtower.org website! hehe!)

"We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking." - Mark Twain

Julie

Rem,

You rock. Go tell them to bugger-off, hop in the car, and you and the Mrs., come to my house and I'll break out that incredibly fine Red I've been saving for special occassions.

Highest regards,
Julie, who is still just popping in from time to time

dedalus

Wow, REM. This is big stuff. When the elders tried to get in touch with me, via e-mail, I was nervous just reading what they'd written. The idea of meeting with them in a judicial setting ... well, it must be about a billion times more nerve-racking than getting ready to deliver a #4 talk!

I'm sure, of course, that you'll represent yourself well. It isn't a question of doubting the decisions you've made or feeling guilty, but rather facing the men who've tried to shape your life since you were a kid and telling them why you reject their ways. Anyway, because you represent yourself well, you'll probably be disfellowshipped.

How is your wife doing in all of this? What does she think? What is her relationship with her parents like?

Please post what happens. I'll be thinking of ya Monday evening (which will be Monday afternoon where you are).

Dedalus

The Beginning of the End for Me?

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