Help! I need advideQ Elders want to speak to me..

by cia171 27 Replies latest jw friends

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  cia171

  As you read in the title, the elders from my congregation want to have a chat with me...which could be about to things...either why havent i gotten baptized ( since ive been in this since i was born...ive been tortured all my life lol) or either because i have a worldly boyfriend.

  I dont know what to say in either case! I cant say i dont want to get baptized because i have to appear to like the religion til i graduate college cuz my mom pays for it and is pract blackmailing me with it, and i cant say tht i will cause i hate it! And about my boyfriend they will either give me advice about why not to be with him or convert him...so i dont know what to say to to pacify them and not let it get to me...so any advice? I would really appreciate it.
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  WuzLovesDubs

  When Jesus gave his sermon on the mount, some people got up and went home. Some people stood up and went to him to get baptized. He didnt chase after the ones who left and DEMAND now that they had heard him speak, that they MAKE A DECISION NOW about being baptized or not. He allowed them to think it over, and get baptized if they wanted to. Getting baptized is a very personal decision and not one you want to be pressured into to please others. You can tell them that you appreciate their concern but that when you are ready in your spiritual path to get baptized you will inform them. And as you are not baptized yet, they cant do anything TO YOU and your BF is not "uneven yoking" since neither of you are officially JWs.

  Just because you have been around the religion all your life doesnt make you one on their books by osmosis.

  Be kind...be firm...its your life.
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  Think About It

  Tell them Jesus wasn't baptized until age 30. Also, tell them you want to get college out of the way first before you even think about baptism. As far as the BF goes........deny, deny, deny and say he's just a friend like other friends you have.

  Think About It
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  AudeSapere

  TIA wrote: Tell them Jesus wasn't baptized until age 30. Also, tell them you want to get college out of the way first before you even think about baptism. As far as the BF goes........deny, deny, deny and say he's just a friend like other friends you have.

  And I agree completely. Took the words right out of my mouth.

  -Aude.

  BTW - Welcome to JWN! Nice to have you contribute to the discussion.
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  cia171

  Thanks! Those are good advices well except about denying cause im pretty sure they know about the boyfriend since it has been 3 years and alot of JWs know lol, i think ill tell them that i appreciate their concers but right now i dont feel ready and that ill like to get college out of the way so i can dedicate "my life" to god, how does that sound? lol
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  AudeSapere

  cia wrote: except about denying cause im pretty sure they know about the boyfriend since it has been 3 years and alot of JWs know

  Deny any 'questionable activities' that you two may engage in. Deny spending excessive time alone. Deny 'heavy petting' (their term, not mine).

  -Aude.
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  Black Sheep

  Welcome to the forum Cia

  If anyone puts pressure on you to miss out on college, show them next Sundays WT, paragraph 13, and point out that this new light means that the end could be decades away, so it would be prudent to get your education.

  Try to get your mother to tell the Elders that she is not letting you meet with them.

  Be careful

  Chris
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  Black Sheep

  Delay, have headaches, profess depression, too much homework, get a part time job that can keep you looking too busy.
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  not a captive

  My daughter when she was 13 had to face down two elders that came on a shepherding call specifically to ask her why she wasn't making moves toward baptism. I learned alot from her that day. And it might help you.

  She could answer all the baptism questions, she answered well at meetings. she even went out in service at times, though that was hard because I typically worked Saturdays then.

  They asked why she wasn't baptised and if it was a goal. She told them is was a goal (it was then) but she wasn't ready.

  They asked her why--because she knew the answers and didn't have a reason not to do it.

  She said she wasn't ready.

  They pressed her (As though I wasn't even there). They asked if I studied with her. She said yes, but now it was just going through our magazines and talking alittle about them.

  So they moved in on this and told her she needed to study the "Knowledge" book with someone other than me, her mom. ( That ticked me off)

  Now here is the point that was so good, I thought. It was true AND there was no way they could get around it. She said:

  "I don't need more knowledge. I can already answer all the baptism questions. But I don't have a relationship with God. I am not dedicated. My mom always said that was the most important part. I don't have a relationship with Jehovah yet."

  One of the brothers got into a slightly bullying mode, but Rose just wouldn't budge; she wouldn't let them convince her that cramming more "knowledge" into her would do it. She said she would have to do it on her own. But she said if she felt like she needed more studying she would let them know.

  A side note: They had kind of ignored my moral authority as the mother until the one brother wanted me to press her to accept a study from someone else. Well, I wasn't going to press my daughter into a study!

  They left her alone for a year and we moved from that area.

  DON'T WORRY! just tell them you would not dream of getting baptised without making a dedication first!Don't let them press because it is unscriptural for them to do that.

  You'll be fine.
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  Wasanelder Once

  Here is a quote from the book "You Can Live Forever In Paradise On Earth"; pe chap. 30 p. 251 par. 4 What You Must Do to Live Forever:

  "When Jehovah's love moves you to love him in return, what should you do? (1 John 4:9,10; 5:2,3) You should approach God in Jesus' name and tell him in prayer that you want to be his servant, that you want to belong to him. In this way you dedicate yourself to God. This is a personal, private matter. No one else can do it for you."

  Tell the two idiots that once you are baptized you come under the authority of the congregation and can be disciplined by it. If you were to enter that arrangement by baptism without dedication you would be simply be following men and an organization. That's why so many get disfellowshipped. They don't love God, they get baptized because they feel pressured by friends, family and the congregation. Tell them that you have not dedicated yourself and will take time to make sure of all things. When you are ready they will see it in your words and actions. For now you want to contemplate how serious this choice is and take time to pray about it and see what can be done and when.Your boyfriend is none of thier business.

  Then go to college, never go to another meeting and get a life. The hell with them. If mom doesn't want to pay, get a pell grant and try for scholarships. Don't be a slave to her financially at the risk of losing your freedom to the congregation of self centered and judgemental elders that whip it into submission!

  Welcome aboard! W.Once