Why Did I Allow My Hopes to Get Raised?

by XJW4EVR 19 Replies latest jw friends

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  XJW4EVR

  A couple of months back, my son asked me to get in touch with my JW/Elder father. He is planning a trip to Colorado to visit his mother's family there, and thought it would be good to see his grandfather. Since I have no contact with my father, I asked my cousin to broach the subject with him. She did and later told me that my dad wanted to hear from me. I ignored her statement. She was never a part of that God foresaken religion and does not understand the issues involved.

  A couple of weeks later, I asked my son if he got in contact with his grandfather. He said that he did, and that my dad wanted to hear from me. I agonized over this for a couple weeks. Then like a dummy got my hopes up that maybe the changes in doctrine had caused him to rethink his position. So against my better judgment, I sent him an email. That was 3 months ago. I have not recieved a reply, though my son and my cousin have told me that he mentioned he got it.

  Why, why, why do I allow myself to get hopeful that things will change!? I am not sure why I am posting this, but it just pisses me off that this man loves that damned religion more than his own son!
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  cantleave

  I hear you. Sorry for all the disappointment that you experience because of this rotten cult.
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  mrsjones5

  Why, why, why do I allow myself to get hopeful that things will change!?

  Because he's your dad. I totally understand your frustration, my parents take me there too.
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  OUTLAW

  Was it a "Hi Dad!" email?.....Or....A "your religion is Bullshit!" email?..

  ............................ ...OUTLAW
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  sherah

  I'm sorry that your are going thru this.

  Sounds like your father wants to hear how you are doing without actually having to talk to you. I have family like this. They are more than happy to receive email, facebook updates, letters, cards, texts, voicemails but they will never pick up the phone or visit in real life. And are all too happy to speak of your goings on to others, as if they are in constant contact with you. Very hurtful and annoying, if you don't see it for what it is.
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  milola

  Rest assured your dad is agonizing right along with you. That is the sad part of all of this...He is more than likely in as much pain as you, if not more, because he thinks he is doing what God wants. So he gets a double whammy by not communicating with you AND thinking that you will not be together in Paradise. Why they don't wake up to the insanity of it all is beyond me.
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  serenitynow!

  Well, he's deeply entrenched in a cult. I'm sorry for you. This is part of what makes JWs so dangerous, that they could destroy the bond between parent & child.
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  XJW4EVR

  Was it a "Hi Dad!" email?.....Or....A "your religion is Bullshit!" email?..

  I have never taken that sort of approach with him. I don't take it with any person I speak to. There is no need to make a bad situation worse by going off in that manner. In the times we have talked, I have never brought up the religion. He has, but I always brushed it aside or ignored the comment. My email was just to tell him I love and miss him, and I am available to him anytime.
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  thetrueone

  Then like a dummy got my hopes up that maybe the changes in doctrine had caused him to rethink his position.

  Outlaw makes a valid point.

  If your e-mail focused on a doctrinal change of sorts, JWS will perceive that as just a typical opposing position by yourself. (evil apostate syndrome )

  On the other hand if you present a " Hi hows it going Message " ? You would most likely have received a returned message.

  As you probably know JWS have been programed to block away people who do not summit to the Power at the Tower,

  so a response can be varied to say the least.

  It can be disconserting to have your own personal family members distance themselves from you but that is what

  high controlling cults do, its a mandate to keep what they have gained.
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  OUTLAW

  XJW4ever..

  Theres a lot of people that make the mistake of bringing up religion,to their JW Family..

  Congratulations..Your smarter than that..

  Screw the Email..

  It gives him a chance not to answer it..

  Call him on the phone..Make arrangements for lunch..

  If you play this right..It should work out for you..

  Good Luck!..

  ........................... ...OUTLAW