SD-7- I know it must be a challenge for you being married to a JW. However if you get a chance take the time to read Steve hassan's books on Cult Mind Control. Especially the 2nd book " Releasing the Bonds- Empowering People to Think for Themselves ". It has great ideas of how to talk with JW or cult relatives without triggering a fight or hassle. I've used some of those tactics with my JW daughters and it has worked good at times. It is great to feel a load off of our shoulders for sure. I agree with you- Freedom is a GREAT ideal to replace JWism with. A free mind is a wonderful learning ground. Hang in there guy.
DARINGHART 13 - I know how you feel. I've had some JW relatives cut ME off due to my stand. It is hard for many of us that weren't allowed to go to college so I hear you on that one too. You mentioned you gave up quite a few JW friends, have you tried getting to know some non-witness friends ? Either at work, or through non-witness relatives ? Volunteer work for charities is a great way to meet people as well. Try to get some hobbies going too that involve other people. Whether it's working out at a gym, a chess club, a walker's group or hiking. I've found that keeping myself busy- really helps. Hang in there, keep your chin up.
LEIRBEN- That is great that you have a good , loving man. I'm happy for you. I'm sorry you have to deal with PTSD . I'm glad you're seeing a therapist to help you through though. It sounds like your parents were definitely affected by your brother's cancer and it has made them more accepting towards you and unconditional in their love for you even though being JW's. THat's a good thing. In regards to the former JW friend who screwed you over- it's a common thing that happens when we seek happiness. There is always someone who is envious of our happiness trying to drag us down- I've found that as well in former JW friends. My JW ex-wife has tried screwing me over in my adult daughter's life - although we've been divorced 12 years ! Don't let the bastards grind you down. Don't GIVE THEM your energy. Focus your energy towards the future and in being positive with what you DO have in a good way, not what you DON'T have in a negative way. Just my 2 cents. Stay strong.
5th GENERATION- It is hard when you know the WT society is full of deceit, but still have to stay in for family. Hang in there. Do what you have to do to keep peace. Just don't lose your sanity while doing it. It's not worth the constant pain, and not healthy. Hang in.
MENTALLY FREE 31- Thanks for the kind words. Hang in there guy. You'll do fine.
NOMOREKOOLAID- That is excellent that your kids are integrating into the normal world outside JWville. I'm sure they are much happier and it sounds like you and hubby are as well with making new non-witness friends. Keep it up, it gets better with time. As regards your still in JW family, I have found in my own experience in my large JW family- I deal with the positive JW's who accept my stand that I have faded and am not going back and avoid family members who will not accept my stand . It makes it easier for me to focus and stay positive that way. Sounds like things are going well for the most part though . That's a good thing !
FREEDOMISNTFREE- I found too like yourself, that moving to a new area can be of great assistance in fading and moving on from the witnesses . One thing is- the JW's here don't ever know I was a witness because I never attended here. I'm 80 miles from where I used to attend. So not running into JW's i knew really helps. I'm glad you are going to school and have great romances ! God for you! You only live once - make the best of it !
TRUTHSEEKERIAM- I'm sorry about the relationship with your JW mother. Perhaps you can just try conversing about NON-JW topics with her. Like invite her clothes shopping, or buy her a nice lunch out sometime. I have found with my older JW mom and dad when I just ask them how they're doing with health problems or bring up non-JW memories we have shared as a family- it works wonders drawing out their authentic personality. Just an idea. Sounds like your kids are doing well and prospering good. It will get better for you the longer you are awayfrom the cult. It's normal to feel a sense of loss- part of the grieving process. But in time you will replace your former friends with REAL unconditional friends who aren't as picky as witnesses were. Hang in there.
ZOIKS- I'm glad you have been helped through counseling my friend. I agree with you- we were always pressed to do more, more, more ! Nothing was EVER good enough. More field service time, more meetings, more studying- it never ended. We all get to our breaking point. Like yourself- I just got sick of all the demands on my time ! I'm glad your children are integrating well into the real world - sounds like your kids grandmother was a real JW tool. Don't let her affect you kids attitudes. Sounds like you got a handle on it. That's great you and your wife are hitting it off happly. If she's undecided- don't push her, let her see it on her own time and terms. My nephew has not attended for over a year now and I'm being VERY cautious to only talk about things if HE initiates the conversation about Witnesses. It takes time, everybody has their pace.
OTWO- I'm kind of like you in that I just don't try to re-connect with former friends I had who are still JW's. The 2 times I tried I think I scared the Be-Jesus out of both of the guys I used to know and they were freaked out I didn't observe the slave as a good source of information anymore ! LOL ! But as you say- our fleshly relatives are the main thing to shoot for in keeping JW contacts. We'll always have THEM around so we all try to work on developing and saving those relationships. You are right, unconditional friends are much more gratifying than conditional ones for sure. Keep the good work up guy !
MARVIN SHILMER- Hey, thanks for the kind words. I just care so godamned much about the hurt this evil JW cult has done . As long as there is breath in my body- I'll try to keep pointing people towards how to be free and think free. Thanks , take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
