Most JW's are Concerned with Position/Appearance - Not Serving God

by flipper 37 Replies latest jw friends

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  Tea drinker

  LongHairGals point struck a chord with me. I was one of those brothers who was not ambitious and just wanted to be left alone. I was constantly badgered to "reach out" and told that I should not hide my "talent" by just giving talks in the second school. I even resented that though. What really gave me pleasure was helping others: those with children and the elderly. I would do gardening, cooking and various other things for those who were less able (both Witnesses and non-Witnesses) and it really filled my heart with warmth as I did those things. I always thought that that was part of my Christian duty and that God would be pleased with what I did. However, the "spiritually strong" one's would constantly tell me that I should do more for Jehovah because I had a lot to offer.

  As far as I was concerned though, doing kind things for my fellow human beings in need was more Christian than giving a cut and paste talk from a Watchtower article. In the Watch Tower, spirituality is merely measured by how much you do in Watch Tower activities: you could walk past someone in need, like the priest and Levite in the story of the Good Samaritan, but, as long as you get to the meeting, you have "done the right thing."
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  babygirl30

  I feel SO bad for the 'brothers' that got pushed into a position of service...cause it was as if it didn't MATTER how much they already WERE doing - they were expected to WANT to do more (thought worship was about quality - NOT quantity???hhhmmm...). The minute you hit 19yrs old, you are supposed to be an example and put on a 'dog-n-pony' show for the powers that be so that THEY deem you worthy enough to read announcements???!!! UGH.

  Now in the case of us sisters - NOOOOOOOT much to look forward to. Either you pioneer or you strive to marry a pioneer/MS/elder/Bethelite. That's it!!! For as negative as WBTS claims to be against religious titles, it seems they LIVE a different way...cause without a title, you're nothing. I will never forget: I was about 22yrs old, lived at home with my parents, had a good FT job and went to college at night. This bunch of Bethelites 'visit' my cong one Sun, and being 5'10" I'm pretty hard to miss...so after the mtg all the olders sister (and my mom) make this FUSS about how these Bethelites were all so nice looking and were looking in my direction. Eventually the guys come over to meet me, and after we all exchange names and they inadvertently tell me what they do at Bethel, the VERY NEXT QUESTION was..."so are you a pioneer?" When I said no, he goes "is that something you want to do at sometime?" That dude brought the Black outta me cause I looked the one dead in his face and replied, "No. I'm actually working FT and going to school so that I can support myself. Besides I LIKE having my own money. What about you? Do you REALLY enjoy serving food all day or is getting a REAL job something you want to do at some time?" The LOOK on their faces was priceless! My mom was very upset with me for saying what I did...but so what. The superiority some JWs have over being an MS/elder/Bethelite is for show - and makes them feel like 'something'...when in actuality, in the REAL world, they are nobody's.
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  SixofNine

  I would have paid good money to see that exchange happen, babygirl30
• 

  flipper

  TEA DRINKER- I agree with you. I was more like you. I derived more pleasure from just helping someone move to a new house or do something in a helpful way for someone than " reaching out " by doing functions at the congregation. It appeared to me that witnesses who rose to certain levels of responsibility or positions in the congregation didn't have time to be kind as a normal human outside the kingdom hall to help others needs. I never wanted the position of MS - I felt it was forced on me to live up to the legacy of my JW father.

  BABYGIRL 30- Good point you make. A lot of us as men were " pushed " or prodded as you say to reach out for positions- when we really didn't want them. I was pushed to be a Ministerial servant at age 20 and I was WAY too young to be giving teaching parts on the service meeting or public talks- but they pushed me into that as well.

  I loved that comeback you gave those Bethel guys trying to pick up on you . Challenging them to see if they ever worked at a " normal " job. I love it ! Awesome. Good job
• 

  life is to short

  Tea Drinker you are so right on. I remember one time being out in service and this older lady was raking up pine needles in her yard. She was so sad looking my husband and I walked up to her and gave out sales pitch she said she was too busy. Her daughter had just died and her husband had been dead for awhile, she was alone and had this huge yard to rake we just wished he a good day and left. I asked my elder husband if we could just quit service for the day go home and change and come back to help her but no we had a track campaign to get done and that was more important plus my husband reminded me that it was good for her to work to get her mind off herself.

  Babygirl I so wish I had, had the courage you did. When I was asked my I was not pioneering I would hang my head and walk away in shame. Never mind the fact that I was struggling to eat and begging for help, looking all over for work, I would have been willing to do anything for work and took any job that came along. None of the friends would help me and I could not afford to pioneer, I was told unless I could pay for the gas I was not welcome in service by many of the sister. I was talking care of my older sister who was unwilling to work, it was just demanded of me to do that by many of the sister. I felt so trapped. No wonder I have had major depression most of my life in this cult. I so wanted to live my life go to school and just be happy. Something that will never happen being a JW.
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  flipper

  LIFE IS TOO SHORT- I agree with you. I feel like you- many times as witnesses we could have done so much more to actually HELP people with real life needs which would have fulfilled more of a " Christian " role than pushing magazines at a door. But that was then, this is now. We were mind controlled THEN to think we were serving the WT society's needs first or the alleged " kingdom interests ". But NOW we know it was all just a PR or marketing campaign for the WT society- so we are FREE now to do good things for people from this point forward- like rake leaves, etc. for old people. We can be happy if we dwell in the here and now and push on for the future. That is personally what helps me get by everyday. We can't change the past , but we can change our here and now and future experiences for the better ! Hang in there, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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  OnTheWayOut

  Tea Drinker, I knew a guy just like you. He did the right things when people needed aid. He listened when people wanted to vent. He put shopping for groceries for elderly "sisters" ahead of recruiting. He asked for no congregation credit for his actions, but the body of elders inevitably found out.

  He caved in years ago and accepted MS, but did the accounts and his talk assignments and didn't "reach out" more. We begged him to accept the assignment and title of "elder." He turned us down a few times before he caved into that pressure. He hated it. Always congregation stuff became supposedly more important than simple good deeds.

  He never totally gave up and still did the good deeds. He moved and refused any title at his new congregation.
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  flipper

  OTWO- Been working a lot. Finally can respond. I knew many men in congregations like you mentioned that one guy. People who wanted to help other people but didn't want positions in the congregations. Positions really were pushed way too much on these kinds of people. Congregation duties were looked more favorably on than doing kind things for others. Crazy