I jumped in with both feet to learn what the theolog was because I thought that I was being told the truth. I studied every WTS book I could find. After about a year I felt like it was not possible for me to be part of this thing. There were so many things that were supposed to be that were not that I was at a loss to understand. I became so thought obsessed that I would be mentally running this stuff through my head 24 hours a day. I cannot be perfect no matter what they say and no matter what i do it was not enough, yet Jesus says "my burden is light". The gifts of the spirit are supposed to be goodness kindness love and such yet the people were no different than any other group and in fact more like the taliban than anything else. At some point I just said I can't, I went to a meeting I think it was the memorial and I just could not go in. I turned around and went home.
Did you ever go through a period of obsession with all things WT related upon your awakening?
by miseryloveselders 44 Replies latest jw friends
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inbetween
miseryloveselders - so true, I am often thinking about JW doctrine, checking this site almost daily, but the hardest stuff is sitting during meetings.
At least when I have a part, I try to make it as little cultish as possible, concentrating on the example of jesus and on undeserved kindness, rather than stessing the nearness of the end or the importance of works (do more -songs)
Worst are the mid-week meetings, so incredibly boring, yesterday was even a re-run of KM from last year, it seems they really run out of ideas, its always the same....
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wobble
Dear miseryloveselders,
I answer yes to all your questions as to my state when I first woke up. I am getting less obsessed,I cannot spend too much time on threads that are of no interest here,( usually the burblings of JW apologists, or believers), for example.
I still rehearse some responses for my family etc, in my mind, talking to myself, but I have found that hones my skill in popping in some spoilers as they waffle on about Da Troof.
What I found fun, whilst still attending meetings was to put in a comment or two that made people think, I did it once about the U.N scandal, said something like:
"Isn't it good how J's Org. moves swiftly to correct things, as soon as this was exposed in the Guardian newspaper they resigned !"
I used to comment a lot on the Bible reading, or KM articles, showing the Christian view of the scriptures under consideration in such away that it exposed the WT view ,but could not be said to be wrong.
Tee Hee, such fun kept me sane for two or three months, until I walked out of the K,H door one day, and never went back.
Perhaps you could use your position to do the same, it is not hard, and gives you a buzz for anti-witnessing.
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Aussie Oz
Whadda ya mean 'going thru'?
i'm smack in the middle of it!
never did so much REAL research in my life!
oz
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d
yes I was obessed mostly because I wanted to see the truth for what it is.