have you turned a jw into an EX-jw?

by malian 23 Replies latest jw experiences

TheRecordCollector

If anyone comes up with any suggestions, Please let me know,
because as you know already, it would be INVALUABLE to me.
Doug (TRC)
P.S.: Just email me directly, as the automatic notification system on this site seems not to be working.
Thomas Poole

I have helped one get away from the WT. She is now my wife.
After I left the WT in '93, I found her six years later.
Because she loved me, she listened, we got married, and even
today I share with her the truth from many sources exposing the WT.
One problem though, since she left the WT, she has not found
Christ in her life. This makes me unevenly yoked up to now.
She is progressing though, I think. It is slow, but I keep waiting and watching. A interesting thing, this Battle For the Mind.
TheRecordCollector

THOMAS POOLE: That is very incouraging!
TP:>"One problem though, since she left the WT, she has not found
Christ in her life. This makes me unevenly yoked up to now."
TRC: Thomas...don't give up hope. Right now, you may be the ONLY hope she has!
TP: >"She is progressing though, I think. It is slow, but I keep waiting and watching"
TRC: Tom, "slow" progress is like GOLD compared to NO progress.
Please, just be patient, and show lots of love.
BluesBrother

Sorry, i have no "Letters of recommendation" yet in this way.
I still feel guilty about the poor lad that I "Brought in the Truth" - perhaps I could track him down and try to de programme him one day.
Thomas Poole

Oh, and another thing, I have a Baptist minister friend that has helped many Witnesses very nicely. He is in the Tulsa Oklahoma area. If you need help within this area, email me.
tp
Scully

Yes. My husband, and subsequently, our children.
Having said that, I truly believe that nobody who wants to remain a good JW can be chided or reasoned with or 'deprogrammed' from being a JW unless they want to be.
I think that people leave the JWs for precisely the same reasons that others become JWs. People are vulnerable to the tactics that JWs (and other cults) use at times in their lives when they are in a state of transition. For example:
- going off to college for the first time
- relationships breaking up
- newly married, divorced
- health issues
- losing a job
- having a new baby
- large scale disaster (9/11; major earthquakes, etc)
All of these situations make you stop and think about what the future holds for you. That kind "priming" that happens almost automatically, is precisely the target that JWs are aiming for. They offer a solution that is beyond our ability to achieve on our own.
When it happens in the reverse, and someone ends up leaving the JWs, it seems to have a personal crisis of some kind at its root. In my own case, it was seeing how my congregation refused to lift a finger to help my family and I, and in fact abused us, when I was going through health problems. In other cases, it's been a conflict between what the WT teaches and what our own conscience will allow. In still other cases, it is seeing some kind of wrongdoing or injustice within the JWs, and seeing it being swept under the rug. Those kinds of things cause dissonance, which is a nagging, terribly uncomfortable situation between what our eyes and ears and brain is telling us and what we believe. In order to resolve the dissonance, something has to change; and usually we're smart enough to rely on our eyes and ears and brain. We start questioning, and we begin to get answers. Eventually, the evidence leaves us in a situation of being beyond a reasonable doubt that the WTS/JWs is not the solution we thought it was.
Why some people stay even though they know all these things... I wish I knew how that worked... denial is a very powerful defense mechanism, probably one of the strongest. Someone who truly does not want to accept the facts can't be made to accept them, and will go to great lengths to defend the indefensible. We've seen that here, time and time again.
Love, Scully
It is not persecution for an informed person
to expose a certain religion as being false. - WT 11/15/63
A religion that teaches lies cannot be true. -WT 12/1/91
Justin

Malian,
I have read that once someone becomes too involved with JWs they must go through the process of being burned out by the organization itself before they can be recovered. This may take years.
The information that people like us (XJWs) and others provide is helpful, but it is only helpful at the right time. The right time is when a person is first investigating JWs but has not yet made a committment, or else after they are already inside the movement and get burned. Then someone can get a foot in the door.
Family and friends should never "disown" anyone who is involved in a cult. It is possible that even after years of involvement they may get their eyes opened and get free.
Justin
butalbee

Actually, I turned an inactive JW into a full-service JW, field duty, meetings like 5 times a week, a preacher of perfection, once a fun guy, into a dud of a dude.
I drove him deeper into the borg, while the borg totally drove me to the point of insanity.
The luck is all mine.
cellomould

My friend may be on his way out now.
I will definitely be there to soften the blow.
Butalbee, I can relate to what you are saying.
My ex gf told me that she was on the way out before I came along and encouraged her.
I only wanted to encourage her to be sincere and loving.
Not to be a drone.
Alas.
However, I understand love to be much better now.
All in all, I can't complain about this experience.
cellomould
"In other words, your God is the warden of a prison where the only prisoner is your God." Jose Saramago, The Gospel According to Jesus Christ
jerome

It is really, really hard to convert an active jw that dosent have doubts.
Right now i'm in the process of trying to convert one
If you dont know the right things to say they WILL Stop talking to you as soon as you start to push.
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1) They will start to make excuses that seem totally illigical when confronted with rational and factual information.
2) Even after you tell them something a good few times they will forget it or dissmiss it as trival. {Ask if Gods organisation predicting or even STRONGLY suggesting the eng of the world was trival.} So you may have to repeat things several times for them just to hear and even then may not listen!
3) They will make a mountain out of a mole hill of any mistake you make and try to keep you off course so be very carefull of what you say.
4) They will want to use watchtower history books to prove historically inaccurate events So ask them if all history was fabricatedoutside the watchtower or if it is only fabricated when the watchtower seems to be in error.
Directly assualting the watchtower is very risky so do it very respectfully if you absolutely have to.
5) And one thing that bugs me the most
when the whole world is right about something and the watchtower is wrong they will side with the watchtower and say something like
"WE see things the WORLD cant see!"
this one really pisses me off.
Knowing how they may react in advance to your probing is valuable because if you already know how some will react
it may help you to keep your cool! Dont get fustrated too quickly.
You may not be able to predict how an indvisual may react to a cirrcumstance but you can predict how a group of people will react to a given situation.
Example on the movie titanic when the boat was sinking the general response was for people to try to get to the above decks but rember
that old couple who decided that it was there time to die so dident even try to get off the boat!
The purpose of this is to show that indivusial responces may vary but not the general responce..
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So really dont try to use logic to convince an active jw without
doubts logic dosent help much.
Pray that God gives you the right words to say at the right time
prayer is your most VALUABLE weapon besides the facts.
And remember if you push too hard the DISCUSSION WILL BE OVER and you
would have LOST your chance!
So pase yourself and dont show them all of your evidence at one time
it may desensetize them to serious issues and they may call you repetative or it may even be too much for them to bare. Only the LORD knows how they may react when confronted with this type of devestating information. Rember their whole world it based upon this organisation being the truth.
So be compassionate.
Also know as much as you can Knowledge is power.
Point out as many unchristian like activities as you can.
Like their attitude towards apostates who they dont even know.
Is it christian to call someone names when you dont even know them.
Ask them if jesus dident love his enemies.
Did jesus call his enimies names?
[When you point out these unchristian activities do it as suttly as you can because
some jws may have a selfrighteous attitude so when you tell them they are doing something unchristian they may take offense to this and dismiss you! So be carefull.]
[If you do not know the person well DONT let them know immediatly that you got your information from apostates! This may turn them away from you.
In my situation i can afford to let them know it is my gf and i know that we canmake up after a fight about this! But this is my situation yours may be different only you can decide what is best for you to do. ]
But you must realize that it may not be for you to convert them but
it may just be for you to plant that seed of doubt!
Rember that if you do decide to try that you may only have one chance ! Are you really willing to risk your relationship with you family member over this.
You may fail.
Right now i have been trying for months and i am still nowhere.
The thing i see that seems to work a little is to dare them to find out if what you are saying is true.
Diferent people may react to this differently but the younger ones may like a good dare.
Tell them to show you how ignorant you are to the facts. Tell them "Make me look stupid!"
The older ones may find this a bit immature but its worth a try.
Oh and you dont have to say "I dare you" but you could say that "Challenge you" to varify what it is you are saying.
Some people are in the religion for social reasons so find out what it is they are really in it for.
But remember this.
It is not really you that converts them in the first place it is only they that can convert themself.
Try to keep your cool it can get really fustrating and you may say something really disturbing that you shouldent have.
Please dont call them brain washed if you get pissed at most call them indoctrinated.
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You can take take horse to the water but you cant make him drink.
the bible is a two edged sword
wield it the wrong way and it you WILL cut yourself!

have you turned a jw into an EX-jw?

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