Universal Truths

by Hopscotch 12 Replies latest social humour

  • Hopscotch
    Hopscotch

    Someone sent me this list today so I thought I'd post it here for some light entertainment. I read through the list nodding my head and saying yes to quite a few of these 'universal truths'.

    Enjoy.

    Hopscotch

    Universal Truths

    1. Part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

    2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

    3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

    4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

    5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

    6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

    7. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

    8. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

    9. Bad decisions make good stories.

    10. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

    11. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection ... again.

    12. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

    13. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

    14. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

    15. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

    16. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

    17. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

    18. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid " routing option.

    19. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

    20. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

    21. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

    22. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

    23. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent an a ** from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

    24. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

    25. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

    26. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

    27. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

    28. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

    29. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my behind everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

  • serenitynow!
    serenitynow!

    1. Part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

    I told my sister if anything happens to me she is to be the first person in my house and discard anything that would shock or disgust our mother.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

    This is actually how I do it

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHTyH2nuFAw

  • finallysomepride
    finallysomepride

    4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

    That's for sure

  • GLTirebiter
    GLTirebiter

    Mrs J, every day I learn something new here. Thank You!

  • Dagney
    Dagney

    Brilliant Hop! xx

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    17. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

    I was thinking that very thing a few days ago.

  • Soldier77
    Soldier77
    21. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
    22. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
    28. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

    21) Since reading this a few months back, I'm always questioning my myself about this. lol

    22) 3 times. After that the person gives up.

    28) I used to do this all the time growing up. I finally realized it was because of nervousness. I still catch myself doing it when I'm put in a nervous situation.

  • Hopscotch
    Hopscotch

    serenitynow - that really made me smile.

    Mrs Jones - Thanks for posting the video. I knew there was a trick to folding them but couldn't remember what it was.

    Soldier77 - Thanks for the answer to No 22. I've wondered that myself. And while I'm nodding and smiling at the person, all the time I'm dreading it in case they ask my opinion on what they just said!

    Hopscotch

  • Dark Side
    Dark Side

    11. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection ... again.

    16. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

    20. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

    AMEN!

    A few of my own favorite truths...

    Money can't buy happiness. It can pay for the delivery of happiness; however this doesn't mean the happiness will actually be delivered

    The two most common elements in the Universe are hydrogen and stupidity. Not necessarily in that order

    The pen is mightier than the sword only if you can manage to avoid the sword long enough to keep your head attached to your shoulders

    The volume of the music coming from inside a car is inversely proportional to the quality of the music being played

    God should have made grains of sand bigger and more plentiful, so we wouldn't have to listen to the endless comparisons

    If you're ever lucky enough to find yourself in the vicinity of a falling star, it's really not a good idea to catch it and put it in your pocket

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