Hello - I´m new here

by Starfish 49 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Starfish

  JUST WANT TO SAY THANKS AGAIN FOR THE WELCOMES...

  I must say, I have been doing alot of thinking about Jehovah and the JW organization and analysing alot of things which I haven´t really done before until now. Well actually it has always been at the back of my mind and I used to think about my life when I was a witness and how I miss my friends etc.

  Now I see it differently...I think that before I considered it to be the closest religion to the truth. Now definitely not !

  The more I read and think about, the further away from truth it is.

  In turn, I have been able to stand up for what I truly feel...I told in my previous post that I hid the fact I was inactive from my family (who live a fair distance away which helps) who are witnesses and also my non-witness family still think I am, (I think).

  It is just a first step for me to be truthful...the other day, I received a text from my witness cousin who asked if I had been to the DC? I texted back and said that I didn´t go and by the way, I don´t go to the meetings here because of the pressure and was making me anxious and unhappy. I told her that the kids are happy because mom and dad are happier and more relaxed.

  I should of told her that I haven´t been going for 10 years or so...but I think I will elaborate more when I see her face to face so that I can explain better. Maybe I can help to free her shackles too.

  I haven´t completely left it ... we tend to go to the memorial every year. The local congregation here know we are inactive witnesses from England and they are friendly. An elder and his wife occasionally come to see us. They don´t put any pressure on us. Although they came all the way from their house to ours just to tell us that CO was visiting and invited us to his talk. We didn´t go..the fact it´s in another language doesn´t help to enjoy it.

  I´m not up to date on alot of what goes on in the organization now. I just remember when I was in it. I didn´t have children when I was active. I cannot see that I would ever become active again and teach it to my children but I also don´t think I can hate it. I think that there are alot of well meaning witnesses in the organization who are just cloned and closed minded. Some live and breathe it but it´s not a healthy lifestyle.

  Anyway, I am just writing the jumbled words in my head and hope it all makes some sense.
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  cyberjesus

  welcome
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  THE GLADIATOR

  Starfish Hello good evening & Welcome (as David Frost used to say)

  It is fortunate that you have been able to leave as a family and have each other to lean on.

  Never take each others support for granted.
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  Quandry

  Starfish,

  Wanted to add my welcome. I am so sorry that your mother was treated so badly, when they could have tried to help her instead. So many leave because of the harsh treatment. That is true of my family, also.

  So glad that you have a happy daughter with a bright future ahead of her!
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  sweet pea

  Hi Starfish, great to have you here.

  Sounds like a successful fade so far. We tried and failed - our elders decided to make us an example to everyone as to what happens when you stop going to meetings and speak up about your doubts. It's a cruel organisation when crossed but I agree that most of the people in it are quite genuine and the terrible things they do can be attributed to mind control.

  My old best friend was in Northwood congregation and we were quite a social couple when we lived in London - we probably know some of the same people. We moved to LA, California soon after getting disfellowshipped and haven't looked back, although I do still miss some of my old close friends but that is the nature of the beast.

  I would advise that you read Crisis of Conscience - it helped me to see the organisation for what it really was and cemented in my mind the reasons to never, ever, return.

  Look forward to hearing more from you. PM me if you fancy a private chat.

  Sam
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  Starfish

  Hi Sam

  Sorry the elders didn´t allow you to fade.....we have been quite lucky to just be left as inactive and the elder and wife team who come now and then are quite nice and understanding. We didn´t speak against the organization or the elders but kept our true feelings to ourselves and went to the occasional meeting, then moved abroad.

  It´s only recently that I googled the witnesses and found this forum....I am shocked at some of the real life experiences of some. Deeply shocked....I have the experience of my mom and think that was unfair how the elders treated her, but I thought it was a one-off.

  I really want to read this book...never heard of it until I came here. I think it will be very enlightening and clarify some of the doubts I have.

  Hey I am sure you know some of witnesses or they could be ex witnesses by now, in London. I had a really good friend who moved to California Orange County working for a family who was originally from North London.
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  JWoods

  I just remember when I was in it. I didn´t have children when I was active. I cannot see that I would ever become active again and teach it to my children but I also don´t think I can hate it. I think that there are alot of well meaning witnesses in the organization who are just cloned and closed minded. Some live and breathe it but it´s not a healthy lifestyle.

  Very well said - the trouble comes from the top, not from the ordinary people.

  And welcome to the forum, I missed posting before.
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  cantleave

  Starfish - welcome to this great forum. Your mother's treatment is shocking, but sadly, unsurprising. This cult has so much to answer for.

  Q. Why do you still attend the memorial? Not criticising just curious.
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  Starfish

  Hi Cantleave - thanks for the welcome.

  Now why do I still attend the memorial? Mmm good question. I think we just kind of still have a tiny bit of guilt for not going to the meetings. It really is recently that I am beginning to question it all. I mean I can´t go on being a fake witness to my witness family members and not tell the truth about me and my husband ( although I haven´t seen them for over 2 years ) ..I need to make up my mind. Although I have no real desire to go to the meetings or behave like a witness. I want to be a normal person making my own decisions and doing things without the guilt trip.

  We all went this memorial this year only because we had an invite from the elder and his wife who come and see us now and then. They really are a lovely couple and they did help us out when we first came here so we felt obliged to go really.
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  yknot