and the story continues...

by Soldier77 13 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Soldier77

  ...last night I had a conversation with mom about being inactive. I knew it was coming since I haven't seen them for a little while and they came to visit for a few weeks. Well, last night was the meeting... and of course, her husband goes, she doesn't (due to abuse in her childhood involving SRA within the KH in another country), and asked if I was going. I told her "no" and left it at that. She then goes on to say, "you haven't been going lately have you?" I said, nope, and kept it short. She then goes into a big ole shpeel about "it being the truth" and "don't you believe in the truth" etc. I told her straight, I know the truth and what it is." She goes on to tell me that I am affecting my spirituality for not going to the meetings, I told her, excuse me, my spirituality has nothing to do with going to the meetings anymore. In fact, knowing what I know now I have a better relationship with (my) god." (parenthesis my thoughts not said)

  She was getting worked up and I knew if I didn't do something to diffuse the situation in the next few seconds it was going to be hell during their whole visit. SO I said, "mom, you don't go to the Thursday night meetings, you haven't gone in 15+ years, why is that?" (She goes into the reason of her abuse and mistrust of the org). I then say, "well, there you go, I am not going because I am sick of the abuse that this org has done to me throughout the years and I'm looking out for my health. It is my choice to avoid the hypocrisy and lies that are flowing out of the KH's doors. Not to mention the shit that it's put you through and the rest of our family."

  I asked her if she understands where I'm coming from. She agreed she does, then says, you know you don't need to have my approval of your decision to not go, it's between you and Jehovah. I told her, I'm not asking for your approval, I just want to make sure you understand my position. That shut her down and she nodded and was extremely pleasent with me for the rest of the night.

  Now I wonder what she's told her husband and what his reaction and further questioning this is going to lead into. I'm so sick of the fact that she lives in denial, she's been through hell and back her whole life as a witness and she refuses to see it for what it is.

  Oh yeah, I'm also waiting to get hounded by the elders since her husband went and of course they are going to or did ask where I've been lately. Leave me the f**k alone bitches!

  ok...venting over.
• 

  snowbird

  Just keep venting and soldiering onward.

  We'll be here.

  Syl
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  nelly136

  skipping meetings every thursday for 15 years then lecturing someone else on attendance has a kind if irony to it.
• 

  gutted

  I think you handled the situation with your mom quite well soldier, good work. I found from my experience the two witnesses I have told so far, I have been too pushy as far as facts... really if they don't want to change they won't, especially with the veil of mind control. I think all we can do is introduce doubts and show by example not being a witness is a good thing.

  Now just the elders... they really need to chill out, but they are trained babysitters.
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  VoidEater

  Your example gives strength to others, too...
• 

  Soldier77

  More to add...

  Both my mom and her husband went to the Sunday meeting and when they came home they did the typical "love bombing". Comments made were, oh everyone was asking for you, everyone wants to know where you've been, Elder X is going to give you a call to encourage you.

  That last one struck a nerve. I told her that if I wanted encouragement from an elder I'd call him myself and ask for it. This elder is the same one that knows what is going on with the bullshit in the congregation and can't do a damn thing about it because the CoBE and CO basicly told him to drop it and STFU.

  Oh and they went into telling me how great of a public talk it was on history of JW's. Funny how they said that the speaker brought out that a lot of what JWs believe are the same as the Second Adventist. I told them, yup, I knew that, thought it was pretty funny how the speaker went into it. In fact, my mom's husband said that he has given that talk before and the outline definitely does not go into that at all.

  I feel like screaming at them, HELLO! WAKE UP!
• 

  moshe

  Walking on egg shells are JW family must be very hard. I couldn't do it, but some can. Good luck on the possible future elder problem.
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  Soldier77

  Thanks moshe, indeed it is and I don't know how long more I can do it. It's just too taxing on my psyche, I've got more important things to worry about. Like living my life without the bullshit!
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  miseryloveselders

  I like how your parents and the Elders just assume you need "encouragement." This organization produces a self righteous attitude so well that they just can't accept that person simply doesn't want to be bothered. No, that person needs encouraged. A person is sick of meetings and "The Friends", and the only solution your parents and the Elders can come up with is that you need to be at more meetings to spend more time with The Friends. Classic thinking.
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  gutted

  Good point miseryloveselders about the twisted viewpoint that there is only one way to get "better", and that is to do more.

  Soldier that sucks man, I empathisze with you about the taxing element of the elders. I haven't even met with them but I think it's simply the pressure to meet, and anticipating their usual BS to go back to meetings, service, etc.

  I tought a lot about it and my strategy if the elders do corner me somehow will be to tell them that I am going through some "personal issues and that I need time to think about them", thank them for their concern and say I will call them if needed. Repeat till they get the message.