by dgp 40 Replies latest jw experiences
Women generally live longer than men. One advantage they may have is that they have accumulated a pile of acorns from previous husband(s).
Financial benefits can be a great incentive for the younger partner. Older women like those energizer bunnies, either in the flesh or in their special 'flashlights'.
Of course I mean marriages within the WT.
Okay, let's look at this from a strictly JW sociological perspective, taking "looks younger", "looks older", etc out of the picture.
Older man marries younger woman. Financial security, life & romantic experience of the older man, and social-group status are amongst the driving forces. This is similar to "in the world".
Younger man marries older woman. This is where it gets interesting, and is a bit different from "the world".
Young JW guys don't have much experience sexually or romantically, and are discouraged and/or forbidden from gaining this experience. Added to that, the organization discourages them from being educated or high earners.
Older JW women are sexually experienced if they've either been married before or been "worldly" prior to becoming JW's. They probably own a home and have a decent income.
In addition, the young guy only has similarly inexperienced uneducated low-earning JW females to choose from. The older woman is extremely attractive from this vantage point.
Quillsky, I see your point
I've only known of one sister who married a younger brother. The age gap was about 10yrs but she looked much older than her actual age and brought a teenage child to the relationship. They have separated after about 6yrs of marriage. She still wants him, he doesn't want her.
Unfortunately it's all too common to see much older brothers with very young sisters. It's almost a social norm amongst the witnesses. I think age is a state of mind in most cases, and if the couple is genuinely happy, then good luck to them. I think it becomes unacceptable to observers when there is such a huge age gap, like 20yrs or more. In saying that, who are we to judge if they're happy?
What I don't like seeing is 70yr old brothers marrying 20yr old sisters . It happens alot here. Or brothers remarrying within months of their wife dying. A very well known very old brother did that here recently. To his face everyone applauds him and says they wish him well but behind his back they cough in disgust. The new wife does not look at all happy.
What I don't like seeing is 70yr old brothers marrying 20yr old sisters . It happens alot here. Or brothers remarrying within months of their wife dying. A very well known very old brother did that here recently. To his face everyone applauds him and says they wish him well but behind his back they cough in disgust. The new wife does not look at all happy. | |
| wantstoleave |
Good point. I liked it. However, the last sentence caught my attention. If that wife 'is not happy' as reported, then we can easily conclude that she was coaxed into the relationship by som guys. I do not know who are they but it might not be to quess them.
If they did it out of their free will, who are we to judge. Its not my cup of tea but then again its not me who is waking up next to a granny, if it works for them who cares
I think the age difference itself makes little difference, unless one is forced by limited availability of suitable partners to pick someone that is way off. True, the woman has a limited time to conceive children, and young men marrying older women should expect difficulties conceiving children (if they can at all--if the woman is past around 50, they might as well forget about it). This limit doesn't apply as much to men--men in their 80s and 90s and in good health are just as capable of getting a 18 year old pregnant as a 18 year old man.
The trouble is, society loves to place artificial barriers on people since Plato introduced us to this concept. Unless the spouses are around the same age, society treats them like dirt. Men in their 30s "shouldn't" be trying to court women in their late teens or early 20s--whoever came up with this rule deserves to live celibate until such rule is rooted out of soclety. Calling men "cradle robbers" and "dirty old men" simply for having a wife that is significantly younger (but still able to consent) is no better to me than calling black people racial slurs, or using gay slur against gay people, or whatever else. "Cradle robber" is nothing more than "age-difference slur". To me, a true cradle robber is the guy that actually kidnaps a baby or small child, not someone that marries someone that is 18 when he is around 98.
Now, that doesn't mean such marriages are not going to have problems. Age differences present similar problems to cultural differences. You have older people that tend to be intolerant of younger people's attitudes, leaning toward "old fogeys", trying to court younger women. This happens a lot in the witless congregations. Usually, this intolerance toward young attitudes (which is what makes one an old fogey, not the age) leads to tyranny of the wife by the husband. He is not willing to adapt to the possibility of having to adopt younger attitudes, and will force the wife to give up her fun. Abuse of the wife and children is also a possibility in this situation, especially when the husband takes his "headship" seriously to the point of abusing it. It is this abuse of his headship, not the age difference per se, that creates the serious problems. Otherwise, couples far apart in age are no worse off than interracial couples, couples of different nationalities, or that had different cultures (a city person with a country person, for instance). If they can adapt to these differences, I see no reason not to go for it.
now hear my view as a very horny man:
I would date and have relationships with women as young as 19-21, but being in my late 40's, it would be disastrous to marry them.
after 1-2 years you would tire out of the diffrences in taste and habits
My x (still a jw) who is 62 married a jw in her early 20s. He won't tell our kids her exact age.
Coffee
