Embarrassing relatives.

by Xanthippe 10 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Xanthippe
    Xanthippe

    My cousin phoned yesterday to tell me my JW sister sent her a sympathy card for her husband's death and tucked inside there was something else, she lowered her voice. What was it I wondered? A nice letter, pictures of her new grandchild (she lives many miles away)? Money?

    I asked my cousin to repeat it. It was a JW tract with the 'appropriate' parts highlighted. About the resurrection I suppose. I just felt a wave of horror and then embarrassment and amazement. I left when I was thirty, my sister is now 64. You know how we often say on this forum people stay because of social reasons mainly? Well she obviously still believes it all. Do you sometimes look at your siblings still in and wonder if you were adopted?

    Why couldn't she just have sent flowers!

    My other JW sister was at the funeral last week and somehow managed to sit next to me in the chapel. She followed me out afterwards and seemed to want to speak, which shocked me. She put her hand on my arm and seeing I was upset ( she was dry-eyed of course) said I really feel for you. I looked at her face which she had made all full of sympathy ( there were a lot of people around!) and I thought, after nearly thirty years of shunning me, plus ignoring my daughter's existence as if she had never been born, that's all you've got! Didn't trust myself to speak. Weird people.

  • economy
    economy
    When I went through the similar experience, I tried to console myself saying: "that is why they are called relatives (not absolutes) which also may mean unreliable
  • flipper
    flipper

    XANTHIPPE- I know exactly what you're talking about. I could SO relate to your question, " Do you sometimes look at your siblings still in and wonder if you were adopted " ?

    Oh yes indeed that thought has crossed my mind ! My older JW siblings are 67, 65, and 64 years old - ALL 3 of them still fully stuck in the JW mind control and totally unaccepting towards me or most anything going on in my life as I stopped attending 11 years ago at age 44, I'm 55 now. They are stranger than a seven dollar bill believe me.

    I'm sorry that your cousin and you are having to deal with these relatives at funerals. I am NOT looking forward to going to my JW mom or dad's funeral when it happens - but by gawd- I won't allow my siblings or anybody else to come up to me to try to " comfort" me with a " pretend " resurrection hope or I'll verbally knock their blocks off. I just have no tolerance for these people not mourning the proper way and making themselves appear almost giddy at JW funerals.

    I feel the same way you do- my siblings have shunned me all these years - even WHEN I was in the cult they didn't have much to do with me and after my folks die, THEN they'd show me caring ? It will really have me wondering , " what's the angle or motive " ? And we KNOW the angle- it's to " try and save our souls from destruction and get us back to meetings . " Uh-huh. Ain't gonna happen with this boy. Good luck to you Xanthippe

  • Xanthippe
    Xanthippe

    Thank you Flipper, you are always so kind. After I wrote about this I felt quite bad having a moan because there are much worse things happening in the world but I just wanted to tell someone, just express it because I find that stops it going round and round in my head. Thanks for your understanding I really appreciate it. Our families will probably never change will they but it's good to have a bit of a rant now and then.

    Thanks for responding economy I appreciate it. Yes we can't rely on our relatives if they're trapped in a cult, you're right. Thankfully I can rely on my friends, I hope you can too.

  • Village Idiot
    Village Idiot

    "Didn't trust myself to speak."

    I have bitten my tongue on quite a few occasions but in retrospect I always regretted it. Those people should know where we stand and exactly what we think of them.

  • Giordano
    Giordano

    My wife and I were never shunned but I've got to tell you that that 800 pound gorilla, the JW construct, was always in the room when we visited. It's hot nasty breath on the back of our necks waiting to pounce on us.

    Over the decades those toxic visits caused me to resent visiting and muzzling my thoughts and conversations. I know they were hard on my wife.

    It always took us until midday on our drive back home to regain our normalcy.

  • kewpie
    kewpie
    Xanthippe,
    I could relate to your post as well. I was never disfellowshipped but shunned regardless. I really did think I was adopted because I never had anything in common with the so called "family" since childhood. I've had very little contact with them over a lifetime. When I did they came across as "pod people". I don't think they are human anymore. Perhaps taken over by some alien species! They are only normal to each other.

  • Xanthippe
    Xanthippe

    Yeah Giordano sometimes it's harder for the people who try and keep the family relationships going, that's true. They become toxic because of the cult.

    VI I didn't trust myself to reply to my sister because I didn't want to start an argument at a funeral.

    Kewpie, 'pod people', so funny. Yes they do seem to lose their humanity to this cult over time. I suppose if you don't engage the decision making properties of the neocortex you're just a mammal, following like sheep.

  • Blackfalcon98
    Blackfalcon98
    Sorry for your lost @ Xanthippe.
  • Xanthippe
    Xanthippe
    Thank you Blackfalcon you're very kind.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit