Yes I really wanted to join,as my friend at shool was in the brownies. She used to tell me what fun they had and lots of outdoor activities and camping sleeping in tents learning useful skills. I know I would have loved it.
For a few years of my early childhood my dad had left and my mum was on her own she was letting us do more. I remember I was in the Christmas play at school and she was letting me join in other activities. But then after a few years she started doing more as a sister from the congregation who was very uba uba zealous took over and we virtually couldn't move. I wanted to go on a trip with the school for two weeks and at first my mum said yes you can go. I was so excited but then this sister put a stop to it and convinced my mum not to send me.
Then my dad moved back when I was about 12 and then things got even worse I couldn't do anything. I was a virtual prisoner at home. I only went to school or the meetings. He wouldn't allow me to have a radio or to read any other books apart from the Jw books or school books. Fortunately there was a great library at my secondary school so I used to spend my lunch hour in their getting through all sorts of books.
But when I got married and had a child I found myself being controlled again and my parents still managed to interfere with my life. As did others in the congregation and there were things I did not allow her to do at school especially because there were others from the congregation who had their kids at the school watching every thing you did.
My daughter wanted to join the girl guides and other activities and it was happening all over again with everyone controlling what I did. I feel so guilty now that I let myself be brainwashed and controlled. I feel guilty that I didn't let her do more even though I knew how horrible it was at school when you couldn't join in and I missed out on so much. My daughter has forgiven me [Borhater on the board] but it doesn't help.
RosePetal
