Just My Story

by malian 13 Replies latest jw experiences

malian

Hello All. I would like to post my personal experience here because I can't tell anyone else. Here goes:
I met my boyfriend when I was 15--I am 20 now. We couldn't help falling in love, and we both made extreme sacrifices to be together. Within the past year, he started pressuring me to start studying and to do what I was supposed to; I love him soooo much, and so I just went along with it; I would do anything for him. I would do anything for him because he was my everything. Damn, I really love him...
In my studies with one of the women in the nearby kingdom hall, I started seeing things that I couldn't bring myself to believe. I couldn't accept that there were punishments given to those who were 'weak,' or that so much time had to be devoted to field service--UGH!!! (I admit that I dreaded that I, one day, would have to go out at 8 in the morning to preach door-to-door.) I figured that I was thinking badly, and that I just didn't know it all, and that I just had to have faith. To clear things up, I thought of researching the Internet to find the exact beliefs of Jehovah’s Witnesses and to see where my mistakes had been made.
WELL!!! Thank God for the Internet!!! I saw everything -- and am happy that I was exposed when I was!! I see the way things really are, and I am completely disgusted!! My boyfriend, on the other hand, has been a jw since birth. I knew that to get him out, I would have to organize everything before I came at him with all of this information (He always has a rebuttal--as a good jw should.) I figured that he would listen to me at least...
Oh man, it was awful. He couldn't answer any of my questions, and in his frustration towards me and his faith in the organization, he totally turned on me. Sadly, I saw how completely sucked in he really was. In short, our 5-year relationship has come to an end, and it truly, truly hurts me in every way imaginable... I just want everyone to know that, as a person with a mind of my own and a mouth of my own, I will never forgive the Watchtower Society. They have taken away the only thing that I needed in my life to be happy. What is wrong with them???? What evil (yes, EVIL) would possess them to manipulate the lives of good people??? Does the governing body smile on the fact that they are ruining people's lives?? That they are tearing people apart??
If there are any jws out there who are reading this story, I know that I may have seriously offended you, but you must know that I am a very loving person, and that I truly hope and pray that one day you will understand that the Watchtower is not giving you a chance at life, but is taking it away.
To the members of this website, thank you for just being here. I pray that I can replace some of the void in my heart with the generous amount of love I have seen you all give to others here. I appreciate you all. And I will definitely be here to show my kindness and love to any of you who desire it. Thank you for listening:)
plmkrzy

I the eyes of your boyfriend by comming here you have willingly exposed yourself to Satan and his demons. As far as he is concerned you are being used in an attempt to destroy his faith in the same way that the serpent did with eve and adam in the garden of eden. Asking him to listen to anything you have heard here is no different then eve asking adam to take a bite.
Sorry that happen'd to you but...life does go on.
plm
Sunbeam

Hi Malian
I'm so sorry that you had to lose your boyfriend this way. I too fell for a witness, he was 20, brought up in the religion and truly believed that the WT had the truth. Their logical arguments in support of their doctrines are very compelling and he believed that he had looked into the subject and come to the right conclusion. Of course, he had been protected from hearing 'apostate' views. And he had ready answers for the usual questions - 1975, etc.
So when I started to raise issues with his beliefs - why does God want you to die rather than have a blood transfusion, where does this religion originate, how many people in the religion have completed higher education, how can you believe that Adam and Eve story - he thought that I was attacking him for being stupid enough to hold these beliefs. I didn't realise this. I was just trying to make him think. And the natural witness reaction to negative info about the WT is to reject the messenger.
He was on the edge of the religion - long-haired, a bit of an 'independent thinker' - but was still under its spell. Eventually we split up and then I began my research in earnest.
A year later, I got back in touch. He had been thinking about the things that I'd said and had stopped attending meetings. Within a year we were married. Meanwile, through my on-line research I had become convinced of the truth and wisdom of the Bible. Via my local church's web site and Randy's free minds site, I learned the real truth and am now a born again Christian.
I don't want to get your hopes up of a reunion with your boyfriend. Obviously, every situation is different. But you might have planted some doubts that will bear fruit in the future. Having a 'worldly' girlfriend will have put him under a lot of pressure for 5 years. In the end, the WT's mind control sucked him back in. It was probably the only way that he could cope with the dissonance in his mind. If it's possible, perhaps you could try to keep the door of friendship open, just in case he needs you in years to come.
I'm glad that you've found this forum. It does help to talk to others that understand. Hope to hear more from you.
Oops, rambled on a bit...
Love
Sunbeam
xxxx
Thomas Poole

Okay, here is what you do with yourself. I usually don't post this much, but I know that anyone who learns and understands the following will not be sucked in my the WT. Most Christians do not know the following about who they are.
KNOWING WHO YOU ARE AS A CHRISTIAN
It is good to learn exactly who a Christian becomes and what GOD provides for him in his SON Jesus Christ. Often we confess our sins and get baptized. However, we often do not understand what has happened to us spiritually.
We need to know what the scriptures explain about us after we are saved and to understand the expectations of us from our Father. We need to know the opportunities we have in our relationship with the Father, his Son, and the Holy Spirit.
These scriptures are a joyous encouragement and very up-building to a Christian or to anyone seeking to be a Christian: a platform from which to go forth and follow-through after being saved in our relationship with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—something to make us better fathers, mothers, children, and neighbors, as we hold hands in the Mightiness of our Lord Jesus Christ.
It is good to read each declaration. Confess it aloud. Then read aloud each supporting scripture. Dear Christian, each scripture is to you personally. Please be encourage to read each scripture and allow God’s Holy Spirit to minister these wonderful truths to you. You will be quickened, strengthened, and blessed.
1. I am a child of God; and therefore, an heir of God and a joint heir with His SON Jesus Christ. Since my God says this, I know that my inheritance can never be taken away. (Please read and study Romans 8:16-17; I John 1:3; Galatians 4:6-7).
2. I am a new creature in Christ. The old things of my past, lost life have passed away; and behold, God’s new Things have come into “my” life. (II Corinthians 5:17)
3. I have been forever accepted by God in his Son Jesus Christ, and I am declared by Him to be holy and blameless. (Romans 15:7; Ephesians 1:4) Since God’s Son—perfect in every way—created all things by the Word of His mouth, has accepted me now and forever, it does not matter very much to me if someone else has rejected me. This tells me that in Jesus Christ, I am a person of great worth to My God and Father.
4. I can never be rejected by My God because I am in His eternal Son, Jesus Christ. I am a member of God’s forever-family. He has declared that He will never desert me nor will He ever forsake me. (Hebrews 13:8)
It is good to know Jesus Christ is unchanging. He is the same yesterday and today, yes, and forever! (Hebrews 13:8)
5. I am confident for this very thing: that He (God) who began a good work (Jesus Christ) in me will continue to build and complete Christ’s likeness in me until the day of Jesus Christ (His return) (Philippians 1:6)
6. My God chose me in Jesus Christ before the foundation of the world. (Ephesians 1:4)
7. It never ceases to amaze me that my Father would draw me to his Son, Jesus Christ and give me faith to believe in Him and receive Him as my Lord and Savior. Thank you! (John 6:44; John 6:37; Romans 12:3)
8. I rejoice in the fact that my Father is able to do exceedingly and abundantly beyond all that I can ask or think, according to his power that works in me. (Ephesians 3:20).
9. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13).
10. I have been raised up with Jesus Christ, and I am seated in Him in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 2: 6)
11. I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. The life which I now live in this body, I live by faith in the Son of God who loves me, and delivered Himself up for me. (Galatians 2:20)
12. I have died and my life is hidden with Christ in God. (Colossians 3:3).
13. Jesus Christ has come into me and has given me His abundant life now. (John 10:10)
14. Blessed be the God and Father of my Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed me with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ (Ephesians 1:3).
15. Jesus Christ always lives to make intercession in prayer for me. (Hebrews 7:25).
16. I know that My God causes all things to work together for my good because I love Him and I have been called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28).
17. Nothing and no one shall over be able to separate me from God’s love which is in Christ Jesus my Lord. (Romans 8:39).
18. For it is God who is at work in me both to will and to do His good pleasure. (Philippians 2:13).
19. He foreknew me, and He also predestined me to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the first born among many brethren. (Romans 8:29).
20. The love of God has been poured forth within my heart through the Holy Spirit who has been given to me (Romans 5:5) Also, with the love that God has poured into my heart, I choose to love Him with all my heart, body, mind, and strength, and to love my neighbor (regardless who my neighbor is) as myself. (Matthew 22:37-40).
21. I thank you my God that you always lead me in your triumph in Christ. (II Corinthians 2:14).
22. I will overwhelmingly conquer all things through Christ because He loves me. (Romans 8:37).
23. I have been given authority to tread upon serpents and scorpions (Satan’s demons in type), and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt me. (Luke 10:19).
24. I am forever secure because I am seated in Christ. (Ephesians 2:6).
25. God will never condemn me. (John 5:24, Romans 8:1).
26. God declares me righteous. (Romans 3:22; Romans 4:22-25).
27. I have been made complete in Jesus Christ. From God’s point of view there is nothing missing—check me and see when I arrive on the scene in heaven! (Colossians 1:10)
28. I am already a citizen of heaven. I am already registered on the rolls! (Philippians 3:20)
29. I have been transferred out of Satan’s kingdom into God’s Kingdom! (Colossians 1:13)
30. I have been forgiven through the provision of the blood of Jesus Christ! (Ephesians 1:7; I John 1:7,9) Furthermore, He does not remember those past forgiven sings! (Hebrews 10:17).
31. God promises to supply all my needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19).
32. Thank you Heavenly Father for giving me exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these I may be a partaker of your divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. (II Peter 1:4).
Heavenly Father, it is thrilling to read that all of your promises have their “Yes” in my Lord Jesus Christ and that they are for your glory through me. (II Corinthians 1:20)
33. Thank you Lord Jesus for telling me that your words are eternal. You said, “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words shall not pass away.” (Matthew 24:35)

PRAISE THE LORD TO THE GLORY OF GOD !
cellomould

Hello and welcome malian,
thanks for sharing your story with us. Let's just hope you don't save your boyfriend from the clutches of JWs to become another Thomas Poole.
I would like to save my ex-gf also. Thanks for the encouragement, Sunbeam. Although I don't believe I would be ready to marry her. Too many hurt feelings there I think.
cellomould
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Edmund Burke
Sunbeam

Hi Cello
Don't get me wrong - there were LOTS of hurt feelings. Hope you can find a way to reach her.
TP - your post was extremely verbose, but I have to say that I agree with every word. I would add that the simplest way to avoid being sucked into a Bible-based cult is to reject any organisation that says you need Christ plus something else, e.g. plus be in our club, plus do everything we say, plus don't grow a beard, etc.
Love
Sunbeam
xxxx
jayhawk1

It is sad to see a five year relationship go sour like your relationship did. I know it hurts now, and my thoughts might seem hard to handle, but here it goes.
Just imagine if you went along with the JW beliefs even though you know it is a pack of lies. Just imagine if you had married him, knowing you would always have to play the role of "good JW wife". Just imagine having children by him and watching them being raised as "good JW children" all the time knowing how much they will miss out on their childhood. (My childhood was ruined by the JWs and I am glad my daughter's childhood won't be.) Just imagine shunning your family that is not JWs. Just imagine questioning everything you do to make sure nobody thinks you are doing something bad.
It may hurt to be without him, but at least you have your freedom. So many on this board and throughout the world do not. So many have to lead a "double life" because they have family that are JWs or worse yet their spouse is.
Sorry you were unable to convince your boyfriend the truth about his religion, but one of these days, who knows. I am sure something good will happen in your future. So hang in there.
Is this a light saber in my pocket or am I just happy to see you?
"Hand me that whiskey, I need to consult the spirit."-J.F. Rutherford
VeniceIT

WOW Malian!!!! I'm soo sorry. That story sounds all to familier. Except I was the strong JW and he weaker, ohh well. I guess it's better to find out now then after your married. But it doesn't make it any easier I know.
I'd love to tell you that you'll get over it and it'll all be ok. But nothing in life's that easy. I'm soo sorry for your loss and hope that you find the comfort that you need. That's why there are so many of us here, we've all lost vital friends and family and it still hurts. I've been out 1 1/2 years and the scares are still fresh at times. They scabb over for a while, but then it comes off and the wounds are raw again.
I guess this is what makes us grow, and become stronger people. and we learn what True love is really all about. How to show it to others and make a new life as hard as it may seem. I wish you all the best!!
Luv,
Ven
"Injustice will continue until those who are not affected by it are as outraged as those who are."
think41self

Hi Malian and welcome
I think Jayhawk and Venice had some excellent words of wisdom for you. As much as it hurts to end a 5 year relationship...it hurts less than ending a 15 year relationship that involves two kids. Many here have stories that are similar.
I am glad you are finding support and comfort on this board. There is enough variety to have something that appeals to everyone, I think. Please keep posting and let us know how you're doing!
think41self
It's my party and I'll cry if I want to!
Adonai438

Hi Malian!
Be encouraged that someday some of the truth about JWs you tried to share with him may still win out. In my 'story' I met my boyfriend (now husband :) ) when I was 15 too. Except I was the JW trying to convert my boyfriend. He was a very loving Christian that got kinda suckered by me because I told him I was a christian-- I was not- I was JW. Well, he lovingly shared scripture and facts with me and I did see the truth- JWs were not it. So now I am 22, love God, am married to the most terrific man on earth, and have a wonderful baby boy. No matter how stubborn a JW looks on the outside they are still nagged by the truth on the inside when people take time to share it.
E-mail me sometime :)
Love,
<>< Angie

Just My Story

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