Whats the weirdest thing a JW ever said to you? (page 6)

serenitynow!

A relative told me if you find a man that loves Jehovah more than you, you have a winner. ugh

Yeah I've heard that. I think I've even said that before.

My cousin said maybe jehovah is using GWB to usher in the GT.

serenitynow!

"Your husband is the head of the house, but of course we are the neck that turns the head".

It's funny how stuff gets around! I heard that one from my aunt; some sister said her husband may be the head but she is the neck.

B_Deserter

"You know why they call it black friday don't you? It's because all the heads of the corporations get together and do a black magic ritual in order to get record sales!"

"Ummm, actually it's called that because a long time ago when sales figures were calculated with adding machines, that day was pretty much a guarantee there would be black ink at the end, denoting a positive number, as opposed to red, which denotes a negative number. When people say a company is 'in the black' it means the extent of their debt is less than what they're worth. A company in the opposite situation is said to be 'in the red.'"

".....Oh."

No, I didn't just think it. I actually said this to her. It's amazing what people will pull out of thin air.

Evidently Apostate

My elder father in law had a heart attack 2 yrs ago. He dropped on a busy street right in front of me. we were right next to a resteraunt that had a cop parked in front, within 60 seconds we were giving cpr to him and about 3 minutes later EMTs were hitting him with a defibulator. ( station was right around the corner)He turned blue but they brought him back. Doctors say he had 3 blocked arteries and was very lucky. Anyway he retells the story to everyone (tries to work it into a witness) about the massive attack and how god saved him it was divine intervention. He Forgot the immediate specialized help that didnt give up on him, Forgot that the reason for his heartattack was his overeating, alchoholic behavior for years along with a refusal to see his doctor for 5 years because he knew he was killing himself slowly. He actually rambled his bullshit story and subsiquent holy salvation to a sister at the assembly who just finished telling us about her mother losing her battle with diabetes. guess god didnt love her mom as much as my alcoholic dellusional father in law. what an ass

Libelle

Have your wife eat some garlic, then suck her nipples...it will taste like it......

This is true, if she's breastfeeding.

TheTruthAboutTheTruth

I was told,when i was studying and not attending many meetings,that i would have to watch my kids die during armageddon,then i would die after.Jehovah was going to kill my children first so i suffer more. How messed up is that!!

A few weeks later i told my study conductor i didnt want to study anymore because it was all bullshit,and she said i would probably be in a car crash now because i was leaving jehovah.I actually laughed right in her face, i knew too much at that stage to take anything seriously from them.

Magwitch

Wow - what an entertaining thread for a dull afternoon at the office. I guess one of the weirdest things I heard was back in 1982. I was 16 going door to door with one of the pioneer sisters. She turned to me and said " I am in so much pain today because my husband is just too large for me, if you know what I mean."

Of course I did not know what she meant until I started inquiring around. She was such a dumpy, dowdy looking witness - the thought of her actually getting any is even weirder than her comment.

VoidEater

"I'm not surprised - everyone knew he was a child molester."

d

listening to Mitchael Jackson music is bad. I remeber a talk where a brother once said and quote "You do not need a college degree to suceed in this world" What in this day and age with all this advanced computer technolgy yes you do need a college.No wonder many Jw's can not progress or better themselves. College is about critical thinking skills something most Jw's do not have.Luck for me I am going to college.

baltar447

d, no you don't NEED college to be a success, there are many examples of those that have great success and excel at what they do. Although I do agree that the WTBS' "college is all bad" is a gross over simplification. College is so you can get X piece of paper that says you can get this job that requires X piece of paper. It's what you make of your education that matters.

Whats the weirdest thing a JW ever said to you?

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