Genuine Friends

ssn587

What is the WTBTS concept of a genuine frined? i haven't ever found any in the jdubs, maybe some of you have. but was wondering what others think about the concept of a genuine frined in the Jehovah Witness organization? thanks in advance for your input!

Little Imp

I never found a genuine friend in the KH. My definition of a genuine friend is someone that is completely trustworthy, you can tell them anything and they wouldn't judge you. Someone you could call on any hour of the night if you had a serious problem, someone who would be there for you despite anything else they may have on at the time.

The joke is that when I married my then JW husband I was excited about going to the KH so that I could make friends as marrying him had meant moving away from all my family and friends.

I remember inviting one elderly sister for lunch. My husband and I were both working and she was retired. Every time we suggested she couldn't make so in the end we asked her to suggest a day and time which it turned out was not convenient to us. However, as we said we would have her for lunch we went along with her choice. The first thing she said to me when she arrived was that she wouldn't be inviting us back!!!

This has also reminded me of something she said when my husband first told her that we had got married, she said "Oh Satan will try and split you up!". I couldn't believe my ears! This is a sweet, elderly Christian lady (not)

LI

Mad Sweeney

There is very little "genuine" in the Borg. It's almost all a facade.

Lozhasleft

I had and still have one very genuine friend in the Org. She's considered 'weak in the truth' - there's the paradox !

Loz x

Little Imp

I think you're right MS

Loz, she's obviously too good for the Borg hence their opinion

LI

truthseekeriam

I thought I had some genuine friends in the Org, until that frienship was tested. Then I realized as MS said "it's almost all a facade"

Lozhasleft

Loz, she's obviously too good for the Borg hence their opinion

Absolutely LittleImp she very definitely is. I see her wasting her life and it grieves me a great deal. I dont remember chatting to you before ? So, Hello and a Big Welcome to you.

Loz x

brizzzy

I had one once. It was while I was stranded in this godforsaken miserable little town in NC. I was 19 and he was a sweet man in his 60s. He was not only my only JW friend there, but my only friend period. He was a good man, we did things like flea market shopping together and several times he let me crash on his couch when I didn't have a place to stay, I trusted him implicitly and he never ratted me out to elders for all the doubts I was having. He was a young soul and I guess we just had kindred spirits and enjoyed one another's company.

He had also been separated from his wife for many years (she lived in Pittsburgh) and he had also been disfellowshipped once, a couple decades earlier (I didn't pry into why) so the congregation (of course) completely imagined our friendship into something disgusting and lewd. EVERYBODY was whispering that I was fucking him, etc. and it was absolutely nothing like that, just a true friendship with mounds of respect and trust. It made me so deeply sad, and I know it hurt him as well.

Little Imp

That's for your welcome Loz, strangely talking about friends, I find everyone here to be very friendly and welcoming.

brizzzy, sorry for your sad story. Sometimes friendships like yours do happen and they are completely innocent as was yours but there are always people that make it into something it wasn't. However, I often think that people judge others by their own behaviour so it does make me wonder just why the congregation thought there was more to it!!!

I have a similar friendship, save that the man in question has never been a JW. I worked for him for 15 years and he saw me go through lots of problems and was there for me. I met and married my husband during this time (now an ex JW) but my friendship still continued and in fact I nursed him through cancer and my husband did not have a problem with it.

At the time, though, my husband and I were still attending a KH and I just know that if they had seen my male friend and me together, arms linked, he was weak from chemotherapy and I have had lots of hip operations and don't walk too good, I just know their tongues would have been wagging. Like you, though, it is just one of those special friendships with a man much older than myself - rare but possible.

LI

cantleave

Lifelong friends desert you when you leave the org. You are always wrong, they remain Judgemnetal even when they know that you are serious minded and don't make rash decisions. I recently had what is likely to be my last conversation with the person who was suspossed to be my closest friend. It hurts, but it is also inevitable when people are not being their authentic selves.

Genuine Friends

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