Attended a funeral this morning

by man in black 13 Replies latest jw friends

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  troubled mind

  I agree with your experience completely ......

  I will never forget when my non-Witness Grandmother died ,and her two witness daughters arrainged her funeral ......it was the most unfeeling ,cold ,callous service I ever attended . I was a young adult at the time ,still a witness mind you ,and it left me feeling hurt and bitter .

  The Elder asked to do the service had never even met my Grandmother .....he read the outline approved for funerals to the word . No feeling ,no personalization .He covered Adam to Armageddon if you know what I mean . The Christian relatives in attendance were appalled , I could hear them murmuring behind me . Her whole service was designed to be a witness and that is all .Well it was a witness ......a bad one !

  I left feeling sick ,hollow and unconsouled .....it really was an impression that has never left me .

  Recently we attended a Christian relatives service and it was much like you described . A real comfort . A sharing of personal rememberances ,an out pouring of heartfelt sentiments . All of this left us feeling so much better than any witness funeral we ever attended .
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  troubled mind

  When my own Mother passed away in 2007 I knew she wanted a Witness funeral ,she had been one for over 50 yrs .

  I had already begun my fade . The Elder asked to do the service had recently lost his wife, and had always been a more heartfelt person . So when my JW brother and I went to talk with him I brought my Mom's journal with (she had documented highlights of her life ) . I asked him to personalize this service, and not to just preach . I also asked to say a few words ( he didn't know at the time that I was fading ) . To his credit he did give alot of personal accounts in his talk, and he also allowed me to come up and say a few words . Of course he kind of rambled off at the end about the "hope" witnesses believe in ....I thought my non witness Dad was going to get up and strangle him ..(.I had to clear my throat of few times and give him the finger across the throat motion to let him know he was done ....)

  It wasn't all I had hoped for my Mom ,but still better than most Jw funeral experiences .
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  Scully

  It makes me so angry the lame excuse JWs have for a Memorial Service™. A person can slave their entire life away for the Organization™, and they don't even get 20 minutes.... to remember the person, instead they get a f*cking Watchtower Infomercial.

  I was appalled to learn that the Funeral Talk outline itself, says that the Memorial Service™ itself "need not exceed thirty minutes". That's gratitude for you.
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  nancy drew

  It always struck me that jw funerals were very empty and cold. It seemed like there was an unwritten rule that crying was a sign of weakness you need to be nonchalant about death.

  that does not give people catharsis and I think people need that. It makes me think about the hiring of people to cry sort of like the first person on the dance floor to get everyone started.