Did you ever have the Elders check out a prospective marriage mate 4U?

Open mind

Or, to your knowledge, did anyone ever make any inquiries of your local elders as to your "spiritual health" and suitability for courtship?

How'd that work out for you?

om

I would not do this. I remember meeting a sister online who told me this story...she had met a "brother" online and they got serious. She checked him out with his BOE and the one she talked to said he was a great guy. She knew I lived in the area and called me when she got in the area to meet him. I knew nothing about this till then and when she said his name....I gasped. This guy was a convicted pedophile and was still on probation. Granted he had been df'd and reinstated but that was only for less than a year. He had already violated is probation....can I say more?

elderelite

oh yes that is a very big thing in my area... many many years ago my future wife had lots of input on our marriage... it worked out just fine for us. She ignored some of it and we got married. Happily ever after... (so far)...

*why would anyone let a decision like with life long ramifications be made for them? stupid does not begin to describe it

asilentone

(bookmark) very interesting topic!

scotinsw

Blondie - what happened after you told her? Did she call it off or be an ostrich and ignore it?

Never heard of this going on but I do know of a sister in a neighbouring circuit who was known as the matchmaker and would introduce brothers and sisters. She called me (I had never met her) and asked if she could introduce me to some brothers. I told her thanks but no thanks. I was 24 years old and wanted to live a little before marrying.

Gregor

Worse.

A fellow elder came to me concerned because a young brother was sort of "courting" his stepdaughter. This meant they were sitting together at meetings and going in field service together. I knew both of these kids (late teens, early twenties) Big Deal. They were as clean cut as it gets and I doubt they had got to the hand holding stage.

So this elder drags me into a meeting with the young man. After regurgitating the then current WT guidelines for courting..."Is Christian marriage in view?....Is the couple staying morally above reproach..." etc., The Stepfather elder asks this gobsmacked young fellow what his intentions are towards his daughter, etc.

Long story short, they were married within a couple of months and divorced within 2 years. Another WT debacle and I'll always regret being a part of it.

blondie

Blondie - what happened after you told her? Did she call it off or be an ostrich and ignore it?

No, she thanked me profusely for helping her avoid a bad situation. She went home without meeting him and called the elder in question and gave him an earful (not mentioning me though). She could not understand why that elder would do that and no longer sought the input of the elders. This "brother" found another sister on line who did marry him and they were divorced 2 years later...now she was an ostrich.

Lozhasleft

I've known this happen a lot. Sadly its often just an individual elder's opinion that gets passed on...

Loz x

sherah

Checking in with the elders about a prospect is highly recommended in my area. Not availing yourself to this 'provision' is seen as being unspiritual.

wantstoleave

Yes, my dad rang my ex's BOE and was told 'I wouldn't let my daughters marry him'. Sad to say, I ignored that advice and my dad to this day feels guilt that he didn't stop me marrying him. What can I say...I was young and naive, VERY naive and gullible. I instead trusted my ex, which turned out to be my downfall. Live and learn...

Did you ever have the Elders check out a prospective marriage mate 4U?

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