This is my first year I will not attend memorial.
To be honest if it wasn't for my husband I would probably be going still. He says what's the point, don't be one of those people who doesn't give a sh** but just shows there face once a year.
I am still struggling with discovering these new feelings about the organization. For the first time looking from the outside, although I've always questioned, my eyes are actually opened! But it's an ongoing battle with what I have known my whole life to this new view on everything. Naturally being raised a witness I feel I HAVE to go. Do I care? Not really but I'm so used to having to do everything for appearances! Already got the guilt trips from the family. My husband says no though, I probably would just go to make my family happy but at the end of the day I should be true to myself. My husband says of you want to go back to meetings, then go, but don't half ass it. Be in or be out. At this point I've tried to go back, and was beig a hypocrite. So looks like I will be missing my first memorial. It is hard for me, but I realize it's what they teach anyways right? Don't be a hypocrite. For all those who go for family I understand! Not trying to put others down at all I'm hit struggling because if it weren't for my hubby I may be going too! Anyways hope all have a wonderful Friday regardless of their plans. :)
