by daringhart13 54 Replies latest jw friends
Quillsky, Yes I want them to visit me as long as they make appointment with me via email ahead of time, so I can tell them what I want to say to them in person. I do not want them to visit me without making an appointment with me. I just want to be prepared for their visit. Unfortunately, they are stubborn assholes.
Inactive Asilentone
They knew exactly where I was for 15 years and I never got a visit or call
But then I was one of th elast ones they would want back because they knew I would never shut up about what really happened - an elder beating and kicking his kids and emotionally and sexually abusing his wife
Then I moved out of province and no one knew where I was - I like this
i haven't been to a meeting since 2006 and the only time the elders have talked to me was to accuse me of something based on rumors/slander and refuse to tell me who has accused me of wrongdoing
17 years and I don't expect them to... funny how my mother is married to an elder and now I get no visit from them at my door..... yipppy.....
4 1/2 years and no call. I doubt it will come either, I have been judged as well and truly unworthy.
I would have hated a call in the past, as I would have been too emotional. I would relish a visit now though, just to get the elders running themselves round in circles.
Interesting because the BOE I was on made these calls every year. Quite frankly, it was the most uncomfortable thing I ever did as an elder. These folks had been out for 15-20 years, I didn't know them at all and would routinely get blasted. I thought it was a strange arrangement because 1) most didn't walk away but were thrown out, 2) they knew where the KH was and if they were interested in coming back then they had the "option" and 3) shunning just makes people angry. I noticed that if someone was really going to be reinstated, they would typically come to meetings soon after being DF'ed.
And this was my attitude as a die-hard JW. Now, I really see not only the damage that shunning does but just how unChristian the whole thing is. Even as rough as Paul was, he relented in Cornith pretty quick and saw the damage.
The calling on DF'ed or long time inactive ones would probably be more effective if the shunning wasn't there. Who wants to go back to the meetings when no one will even look you in the eye? If they want to improve the numbers, they should really reconsider the shunning policy. It's just bad for business.
Edited to add: I remember one individual that I was assigned to call every year. I actually joked around with him because we talked for a while the first time I meet him. I knew he didn't want to come back and he knew (he was a former elder) that I had a box to check. So we would talk about sports for a few minutes, I would ask if he wanted to come back, he would say that hell hadn't frozen over yet, and I would laugh and say ok, if you change your mind, let me know. It was very casual. I should dig up his number and have a real conversation with him now!!!
No visit yet but I keep the J.C. Penny slacks, lemonade, and cookies on standby just in case.
In the 18 years since I left, I have never received a visit or even a call.
So I'm still getting a mixed message from ex dubs - you kind of want elders and MS's to visit you AND you don't want them to visit you? If they don't, they are criticized, if they do then they are criticized?
Give the guys a break!
I know where I stand. Bless you all for NOT visiting me.
Quillsky, LOL, I understand that, but seriously I want them to visit me as long as they make appointment with me ahead of time. I do not like them to visit me when I am not ready for their visit. I live in a gated community, they would have to make an appointment to see me, so far it is deterrent for them to visit me. I like that, but still all they have to do is email me first, I would accept their visit, so far, they refuse.
