Ok, so in the spirit of the April broadcast, what do you want to ask god to fix for you?

by stuckinarut2 21 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • stuckinarut2
    stuckinarut2

    So by now most of us have heard about (or watched) the April broadcast and the ridiculous "experience" of the guy that asked god to fix his construction leak before he believed in him....

    So, what would you like to "pray that god fixes" in your life??

    Humorous or serious replies welcome! (Although sarcastic, cynical and funny replies preferred Hehe)

  • Captain Schmideo2
    Captain Schmideo2

    "Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz? My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.
    Worked hard all my lifetime, no time for my friends. Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz?!"

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    I want God to fix my Clutch..

    I`ve left the tools beside the vehicle..

  • yodastar
    yodastar
    Lord, If you show me a sign by fixing the Kardashian family, they are really in turmoil and in need of your help, I will be at the next available Sunday meeting.
  • freemindfade
    freemindfade
    "Almighty Desert god of jacob... please take me back in time so I can not be baptized into a wacky cult! Thank you big guy"
  • Village Idiot
  • Wild_Thing
    Wild_Thing
    It would be so cool if God would fix me a sandwich.
  • freemindfade
    freemindfade
    "dear god, If I can dunk a basketball in the game this week, I will stop putting stuff on this site"-fmf
  • rip van winkle
    rip van winkle

    Gotta give God something simple to fix otherwise He's not up for the task. He seems to be a Jack of all trades and a master of none. Our God is just a mere dabbler. Yeah, that's right. So I said it, but you were all thinking the same thing! Earth was just a part-time hobby that He became bored with right from the start.

    Anyway...

    I will not ask God to fix the problems that have plagued mankind from the get-go. He doesn't want that responsibility and prefers to let people blame one of His creations. I have a strong feeling He just made up a story about Satan. Probably was jealous that Satan was receiving the worship God thought only He deserved. After all, He is a Jealous God! Our God probably has ADHD or NPD or some other abbreviated issue. Isn't His name an abbreviation too? Come to think of it, our God is a real troublemaker. His behavior is downright trollish. Think about it...but I digress. Back to the question: What would I pray /ask God to fix for me? Something that God could actually do? Nothing.

    He can fix absolutely nothing.



  • steve2
    steve2
    I want Jehovah to make me less appealing to straight men. It's a burden I no longer should bear. Thank you Jehovah.

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