Elder's message to me, on me being disfellowshipped tomorrow.

whereami

"Me,

It saddens me greatly to see all that has happened and to see my friends in this position. For me it’s a great loss but I hope that it will only be temporary. Please allow Jehovah’s discipline to mold you and you’re way of thinking. You’ve come so far, don’t give up!

I don’t know how you feel, but I want you to know that I love you no matter whatever happens.

Elder"

This is a tough one for me because I've know this person for over 30 yrs. I know he believes that "I love you no matter whatever happens."

I'm not doubting his sincerity on this. I just don't know how a "friend" of over 30yrs can say that and not EVER again talk to me.

Tomorrow is the day that in many eyes, I'll be considered spiritually dead and lost in the world of Satan. Actualy worse, I'll be a tool of Satan!!!

I fortunately don't see it that way. I see it as a new lease on life. A way too start over, but this time with a real chance at it. Will it be difficult at first, yes, as I continue to love and be married to a very very hardcore Jw wife. I really don't know what the future will bring as far as her and I are concerned. Will she be able to continue to "wait on Jehovah" as regards to me returning to the fold? Or will I, with time, come to the conclusion that I'm only trying to prevent the inevitable, the fact that it will be virtually and almost impossible to have a stable healty marriage/family in this type of arrangement? As anyone who has been through this situation knows, it's neither fun or easy. Oh well, it is what it is. Thirty years of ones life scrubbed off just like that by these people, your "friends". What hurts more regarding this message of this elder friend, was that he's known for well over a week that I was being disfellowshipped for apostacy tomorrow. So instead of coming too see me or even calling me which he could have, being that he is an elder afterall, he decides that his last words to me be these few sentences in a simple email would suffice. Sad. Very sad indeed. Should I even reply? If so, I wouldn't even know where to start. Any suggestions?

Thanks for listening.

Lozhasleft

Ah I hope you're ok hun. Hugs.

Loz x

Ask him what he means by his caring about you?

tec

Reply with honesty. I think your first few sentences after that example are a good place to start:

This is a tough one for me because I've know this person for over 30 yrs. I know he believes that "I love you no matter whatever happens." I'm not doubting his sincerity on this. I just don't know how a "friend" of over 30yrs can say that and not EVER again talk to me.

Just replace 'his' with 'your' and 'you'. Then ask if he thinks this is the love, mercy and forgiveness that Jesus taught? Perhaps just ask him where is the love that Jesus taught?

Tammy

wasblind

(((((((whereami)))))))

ex-witness

As an atheist, I can only say I am truly sorry that religion still exists. It has been the most divisive, destructive, bane of humanity since pre-History.

I wish you and your wife, who I can only hope realizes the rarity of love and commitment of your marriage hasn't changed, the best.

My response to the elder would be simple:

"Thank you Judas. You betray me with a kiss?"

OnTheWayOut

He may very well love you and will follow his dangerous-mind-control-cult training ahead of his love and will shun you.
Sorry to hear your sorrow over some of that, but.....

let me say about being DF'ed- Congratulations.

leavingwt

Welcome to the rest of your life.

chickpea

harsh reality will serve you better than fuzzy delusion, mate

chin up and seize the day! this is your one SURE life!

FreeAtLast1914

I, and practically every JW, at one time sincerely felt the same way the elder described. JWs don't understand the concept of unconditional relationships. They are trained not to. They are trained to think their response to your DFing is a loving one.

When I came to my senses years later, my cousin was the first person I personally apologized to for my cold-shoulder treatment during his time as DF'd. I explained that was my training and that I believed my course was one that showed respect for God and his name. What a joke...

Maybe your elder buddy will see the light eventually and pay you an apologetic visit. When he does it will be a great day for you. Either way, don't let his actions ruin the rest of your life.

Gregor

First of all, sincere congratulations on your DF'ing for apostasy. There are many categories of expulsion from the cult, but this is Medal of Honor.

Your old friend unburdened himself in the most comfortable, safe way he could. Don't take it too hard and I would NOT reply. Who knows? Someday he might find himself editing his note to you to give one to one of his children -

It saddens me greatly to see all that has happened and to see my friends child in this position. For me it’s a great loss but I hope that it will only be temporary. Please allow Jehovah’s discipline to mold you and you’re way of thinking. to remember you in the resurrection, you've come so far, don’t give up! hope it's not too painful to bleed to death.

I don’t know how you feel, but I want you to know that I love you no matter whatever happens.

Elder"

Elder's message to me, on me being disfellowshipped tomorrow.

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