They can't understand how I can be so inactive and yet such a good guy.

Wasanelder Once

I've been faded, inactive, for 6 years or more and the witnesses I know are astounded that I'm not in trouble. They don't say it but its on their minds. I do the things thier "brothers and sisters" don't do towards them. Most are older, in thier 80's and I've known them for twenty or more years. I drive them to the doctor and to shop, I also visit them in the hospital and am there when there is an emergency. The elders always show up AFTER me. I laugh out loud about it. I know it pisses them off to see me there and not at meetings. NONE of my elderly witness friends EVER ask me to come to meetings. They know better and don't seem to care because I'm a real friend to them. What of you? Do the elders see you are really a good person and are they green with envy at you?

Palimpsest

I have very limited contact with active JWs since fading, but yes, they're always in awe that I'm not addicted to drugs, working in a strip club, married to a cheating wife-beater, on probation, etc. The idea that I'm actually really happy and living a fulfilling life completely blows their minds. I sincerely think they believe I'm making it all up! And it completely destroys all of their "come back to us" arguments. I have a great social life, I do a lot of volunteer work, I feel valued in my community, I am self-supporting, I have healthy personal relationships...all of the things they promise to give you, I already have. So...oops. :)

lesabre

i've been inactive for 5 years now. i moved across country and don't know anyone here.... no one will talk to me on FB or email. they used to, but i guess they got bored because i wasn't doing anything terribly interesting. but they still insisted that i go to meetings. lol. i don't think they believed me when i told them i wasn't up to anything sinful.

Queequeg

This has been my families strategy so far in our "fast fade".

Palimpsest said "The idea that I'm actually really happy and living a fulfilling life completely blows their minds". That is so true. It's actually kind of fun.

Something simple like when they see you at a restaurant with "worldly" people having a great time.

Also, my new thing is to get them(witnesses) to talk about their problems. Most of 'em have plenty of negative stuff you can get them to talk about.

"Are you still having back problems"?, "How's your application for ssi going"? "How's your wife doing"?

One elder told me recently, "And don't tell me that you're happier not going to the meetings"! I just looked him in the eyes, trying to be neutral (with just a hint of a smile).

Gregor

Very good topic. Looking back on my experience as an elder I have to say that a persons likeabilty had a lot to do with how much scrutiny they received. Kind of like the military, go along and get along and you are invisible.

alanv

I faded about 15 years ago but still see witnesses every now and then. If they ever ask how I am doing I am always very positive about my life, bearing in mind that they would love to hear mesay that you are having a terrible life. The best thing I think is that the people who care for me now are totally genuine friends and family, unlike the witnessses who were only kind and loving toward me if I agreed with their religion totally.

wasblind

I had an older sister from the cong, ask me did i think i still had Jehovahs love since i stopped going to the meeting.

I boldly told her yes, his love is all around not just at the kingdom hall, after we parted ways i felt

so good that i stood up for myself, before then if anyone had of ask me that i would have been speechless

and hung my head.

finallyfree!

I consider myself to be a pretty likeable guy. All the older sisters really liked me and I remember and look back fondly at the days of helping out those blessed widows and widowers. I don't think they really think of me as a bad evil guy cuz I don't practice their faith. As the bible says "faith without works is dead" I think even though I'm far away from the cong I grew up in their are certain ones who know me for who I am and respect that and remember me for the good I did. I do get the "when are you coming back?" And "we miss you" and "jehovah loves you". My cong that I attended after moving away is a different story. Shunning at its best and judgment as if they were passing it down themselves. Oh right that's how it is. I think if I were dying on the side of the road they'd cross over to the other side so they don't have to associate with an apostate devil worshiper. Oh well.

Pistoff

Fading for 8 years now.

I always get the question, How are you really? you know, the question that comes with that sad, entreating look, as if to say, You must be miserable, or evil, or tortured.

I always say the same thing: doing great.

I love to keep them baffled.

Quandry

It's interesting. I live in a huge city, Houston. I knew many witnesses from many different congos as my husband was an elder, and gave talks around the city, we worked at quickbuilds, etc. I have been "gone" for over five years, and I almost never see the JWs. I haven't seen anyone "work" our street, I don't see any in WalMart, etc. Strange.

If any DID try to speak to me, yes, I would be courteous and tell them I'm doing great. I'm 58, so no running wild for me....I still look the same (except I don't wear dresses anymore). I'd tell them that I am back in college at 58, never to old to learn, and enjoying every minute of it.

Good for you, Wasan.

They can't understand how I can be so inactive and yet such a good guy.

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