Is it okay to be antisocial?

by AwSnap 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    Sounds like you may be a "5" like me.

    Enneagram Type 5:
    Observeb, Investigator, Thinker, Sage or Voyeur

    Overview
    You want to be intelligent, informed, knowledgeable and perceptive. More importantly, you want to be self-sufficient and not have the entanglements of obligation. You see yourself as intellectual, dispassionate and investigative. You would like others to see you as rational, logical and scholarly. Your idealized image is that you are thoughtful and wise.

    Private and solitary by nature, you like to be invisible until you are ready to reveal yourself. You tend to stay on the sidelines preferring to meet the world with your mind. You prefer to play the role of detached observer or investigator. In general, you see the world as intrusive, overwhelming and chaotic–often demanding too much and giving too little in return. As a result, to manage the fear of not knowing, you conserve your energy and focus your attention on acquiring the information necessary to make sense out of the chaos.

    Studious and scholarly, you develop expertise in any area that is of interest to you, often in more than one field. You believe that knowledge is power and feel it is imperative that you be as a means of survival. Often scientific, you have unparalleled powers of mental perception due in part to your ability to remain detached and unaffected by your emotions.

    Avoiding the glaring light of scrutiny, you seek the safety of camouflage. When you feel that you lack intellect, you become withdrawn, isolated and reclusive. You see yourself as intense, unexpected, original and different from others. You are private and introspective, although others may think of you as anti-social, secretive, remote, and eccentric. You are not afraid to point out the ‘emperor who has no clothes’ and your wonderful sense of humor is based on postulating the absurd. Rather than the wave crashing on the shore, you have the strength of the undertow and know exactly when to give or withhold your involvement and information to have the greatest impact.

    Need
    Fearing intrusion, you need to keep yourself hidden and camouflaged. However intellectual you may be, you often feel vulnerable and exposed like an animal without fur. You need time alone to recharge and for others to not place high demands on your time or energy. It is essential for your well being that your mind is clear, your life uncluttered, and that you have the autonomy to control your time.

    Avoid
    You avoid standing out and/or being misinterpreted. You also avoid pretentious or ostentatious displays. You may find small talk or a brainstorming session at work to be an insufferable waste of time. You fear annihilation, contamination, and being fully embodied – as you feel more comfortable being with your thoughts than in your body. Because you prefer to live a life that isn’t weighed down by attachments – either material or relational – you also avoid surplus of any kind. The one exception might be a library of resources.

    Virtue
    Your greatest strengths are your clear objectivity, your instinct and your penetrating insight that is unfettered by emotions. You have an innate ability to gather information and create systems to assess and categorize data in a clear and concise manner. Mentally astute, you are able to observe, study and track even the smallest details, often developing expertise in many areas. Underneath your shyness and reserve, you are a kindhearted and giving person. You are also very loyal to and supportive of those you trust.

    Vice
    Your vice is avarice. This can manifest as a greedy hording of yourself, your time, your energy or your things. Be careful of your tendency to observe the world through a peephole. It can keep you isolated and out of touch with human concerns. Be aware of your tendency to withdraw into your ivory tower of ideas. Others may start to see you as arrogant and unfeeling. Being dispassionate and ‘cool as a cucumber’ is good in an emergency but hard on relationships.

    Attention
    Your attention goes to observing the world, hiding or withholding to protect yourself and gathering information for the purpose of knowing and understanding. Hesitant and reluctant to engage, you search for factual data, seeking reason, logic and objectivity.

    Spiritual Journey

    Your spiritual path is to reclaim a sense of non-attachment and experience true omniscience– true knowing from a higher source. Spiritual growth will come when you offer freely of yourself to others without fear of incurring obligation and realize that mere information can never be a substitute for true direct knowing.

    Mantra
    Your map of the world is a mental construct, not the actual territory. For deeper knowing, remember to include your feelings as they yield important information in any equatio. As a rule, you believe that there is always more that can be learned, known and understood. It is helpful to recognize when you know enough to make a decision.

    Wing

    If you are the Enneagram Type 5 with the 4 Wing, you desire to appear imaginative. You see yourself as aloof, understated, penetrating, intuitive, inquisitive and quiet.

    If you are the Enneagram Type 5 with the 6 Wing, you desire to appear intellectual. You see yourself as changeable, receptive, careful, whimsical and trustworthy.

    Famous 5s

    St. Thomas Aquinas, Issac Asimov, Samuel Beckett, The Buddha, Tim Burton, David Byrne, Richard Chamberlain, Agatha Christie, Montgomery Clift, Michael Crichton, Daniel Day-Lewis, René Descartes, Joan Didion, Joe DiMaggio, Amelia Earhart, Albert Einstein, T.S. Eliot, England, Ralph Fiennes, Bobby Fischer, Peter Gabriel, Greta Garbo, Bill Gates, J. Paul Getty, Jane Goodall, H.R. Haldeman, Hildegarde of Bingen, Alfred Hitchcock, Anthony Hopkins, Howard Hughes, Ted Kaczynski, Franz Kafka, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, Dean Koontz, Stanley Kubrick, Gary Larson, Annie Leibowitz, George Lucas, David Lynch, Norman MacLean, Robert MacNeil, Leonard Maltin, Timothy McVeigh, Natalie Merchant, Sam Neill, Georgia O'Keefe, J. Robert Oppenheimer, Al Pacino, Michelle Pfeiffer, John D. Rockefeller, Jr., Oliver Sacks, Jean-Paul Sartre, Scrooge, Sister Wendy, George Stephanopoulos, Madeleine Stowe, Jules Verne, Max Von Sydow, Ken Wilber.

    All content Katherine Chernick Fauvre, David W. Fauvre, Enneagram Explorations, © 1995-2007

    http://www.enneagram.net/type5.html

    http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&biw=1280&bih=653&q=enneagrram%205&gbv=2&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=iw#hl=en&biw=1280&bih=653&gbv=2&q=enneagram+type+5&aq=5&aqi=g10&aql=&oq=enneagram&gs_rfai=&pbx=1&fp=7db4f7af4a13aa89
  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers
    I think its funny how some extroverts dont understand. Then again, I suppose I dont understand extroverts. I don't feel negative about it...I just dont see the point of chit chat. My hair stylist probably thinks I never get any sleep...I just sit there and close my eyes

    Admittedly I am an extrovert to the extreme. I've had two hour phone conversations with people who called the wrong number, LOL! But what bothers me is that you said you're scared that people will find out your jw background and that your family shuns you. I don't think that kind of fear is part of being an introvert, but it is intrinsic in other things that can be quite negative.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    You sound like my husband Jamie, he's the same way. I used to wonder why he married me, I'm very quiet and he's a very outgoing people person, but he's told me that I ground and calm him. In turn he's brings me out of my shell.

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    I don't think you are odd at all. I'm an extrovert living an introvert's life. It gets lonely sometimes but with Egg, work, my dog, and a hobby, I'm happy this way...for now.

    I don't easily trust others, anymore, either, so I don't bother getting too close to people.

    I understand the need to be solitary in this phase of my life and so like to sit at home with a good book or knit or Internet.

    Books and a hobby are better than people to relieve stress, sometimes.

    Being in a new place, I have to start from scratch to make friends, which could very easily take a year or two. Who has the time for that if you are working full time? Rest time becomes precious and if you've been around people all day, why would anyone want to unwind around more people?

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers
    You sound like my husband Jamie, he's the same way.

    Well, Mrs. Jones, don't ever get us on the phone or in the same room together, LOL! I've met other people like me, and the talking is endless!

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    :Is it okay to be antisocial?

    As long as you're doing it in the company of friends, I don't see a problem with it.

    Farkel

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    Awsnap, you're not anti-social but perhaps just more selective.

  • AwSnap
    AwSnap

    Thanks Mrs. Jones. I LOVE that personality description you posted! Its pretty stinkin close to how I perceive life/myself! Plus, I *have* always thought I am just like Jackie Kennedy Onasis. Lmao. Jk...sort of

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    You're welcome .

    I recently found a couple of books on Enneagrams. I think the subject is fascinating and it gave me a lot of cool insights of my personality and why I am the way I am.

  • Gregor
    Gregor

    My wife and I have been out of the cult since about 1983. I got into a profession that involved a lot of travel, trade shows, etc. where I met and got to know a lot of people. At about the same time she got into high end womens retail and was very successful. I inevitably attended Xmas parties and picnics with her co workers and managed to blend in and even hear feedback about what a great guy I was. ( I recently declined an invitation to the wedding and reception of David Geffens niece.) BUT, whenever I brought her into social gatherings, dinners, cocktail parties, etc. from my profession, she almost always made me so uncomfortable with her snobby, aloof, attitude with my peers that I frequently swore off involving her again. Anyway, we're both retired now and it doesn't matter anymore, but it used to be a sore point.

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