Hi Marilyn,
The other night my significant other and I were so bored that we watched the movie "Titanic".
When it came to the part where they were beginning to climb onto the lifeboats, I had a strikingly weird moment!!!
It was when Rose's mother (the upperclass, simpering void of a person who felt entitled to whatever) expressed concern over whether the lifeboats were going to be "seated according to class". She shuddered with repugnance and horror at the mere thought of having to endure proximity to a steerage passenger - before graciously planting her butt into the first boat.
What struck me was the similarity between her behavior and that of a typical jw (usually an appearance-obsessed wannabe, at least that is my experience) who has to "associate" with a "worldly person". They don't want their precious social standing to be besmirched. Hardline "shunners" who ostensibly wish to protect their "spirituality" have displayed demeanors identical to what I saw onscreen. I realized it was just another form of bigotry.
Hope things turn out somewhat comfortably for your friend, and for you as well.
I don't even want to start THINKING about the issue of their calling in her husband first..... arrrgghhhhrhg
lauralisa