I can't believe how many people are leaving now...

by mac n cheese 33 Replies latest jw friends

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  mac n cheese

  (sorry if this is a double post - I haven't been on in awhile)

  So spouse and I are completely inactive. It's GREAT! We are finally doing what WE want to do - brunch on the weekends, going away camping and traveling all kinds of places. Spouse will probably never get over birthdays or Christmas, which I'd really like to do, but I'm just glad we both agree life is much better away from that group.

  It's strange, but now, a ton of people that we all figured would NEVER leave are starting to fade, and they are slowly making their way around to us, and very carefully feeling us out to see if they can trust us. Just like we did when we were "in", we listen, we give them pros/cons of decisions, but just because we're paranoid, we never say anything against the WT Society. This even-handed manner of ours seems to give people the push they need, so that they can move on with their lives, away from the "Truth". It's odd to be in this position now that we're out, since we were always in this position while we were "in." Still, it's nice to see really smart, cool people that we love come to their senses.

  It's always people that I thought were staying forever, and yeah, so far, they have all been people who were born in/raised in it, just like us.

  Mac n Cheese
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  Wasanelder Once

  This is what I like to hear. Good people will attract other good people. It seems you did that before and also now. Keep walking on eggs so that your underground railroad doesn't get ratted out and everybody shipped back south! Free at last, free at last, great God almighty free at last!
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  StAnn

  Mac, thanks for your post. It gives me a little hope that maybe some people I've known and loved will leave in my lifetime. Hopefully, the bizarre behavior of the WTS is starting to get people's attention.
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  laverite

  Hey Mac! Great to read you. How many is a ton? It's awesome to hear that people are coming to their senses. I wonder if more of this is likely to happen and accelerate in the next 10-20 years...One can but hope. Unfortunately, my family is entirely, totally beyond hope.
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  laverite

  I would like to second StAnn's sentiments.
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  mac n cheese

  Wasanelder Once - well said, we're walking on eggshells with these people for sure, but as time moves on and we get more and more secure with our stand, we look over our shoulders less often. And yes - GREAT to be OUT!

  StAnn - I know how you feel - but I will say that it's surprising WHO is leaving - these are long-time elders, pioneers, born ins, etc. Nearly all of them have mentioned how legalistic the WT Society is and how it's changed so much. You just never know, I just keep getting surprised each time.

  laverite - So far, it's been about 12-15 people that have left since we've left (in the last two years) that have approached us, and there are more that have just moved away and never gone to another meeting. I know this because later, they add me on Facebook and they are having the times of their lives -with no mention of "theocratic activity".

  I'm just glad that my in-laws still treat us well. If anything, our relationship is better because we're much happier, and they can tell. But of course, we would NEVER actually DISCUSS it, hahahaha.

  As always, I'm grateful to the good people of JWN, I've put into practice many of your good ideas.

  Mac n Cheese
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  steve2

  Well said Mac. Yes, it's very much what you do not what you say that counts. I'd like to think that as time passes, more will question the organization. But I'm not holding my breath for my family - if they left, they'd be at a loss as to what to do. I truly believe that a good many JWs stay where they are because to leave would cause great embarrasssment for them after all they've said over the years about it being the Truth and the end is coming.
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  laverite

  Hi ya Mac. Thank you for responding. Honestly, I am very surprised. Shocked more like. To me, a ton would have been 4-5. Two dozen or more is shocking. Let's hope this continues!!!

  You and your spouse must be very special people. I wish people like you had been around when I left.

  ~LV
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  Broken Promises

  I never thought I would have left, but I did, and I have no regrets doing so. I was a 3rd gen JW. All my immediate family are JWs.

  Thanks to the internet, JWs can find information on the WTS in a way that was never before. As a result, many many people are leaving.
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  Nathan Natas

  Good luck to you, mac n cheese!

  I was raised a Dub, and what I found was that when I tried to celebrate birthdays or holidays it felt as foreign to me as celebrating Ramadan or Bon-Odori would feel to a life-long catholic; it simply "doesn't compute." The reason for this, I've concluded, is because there is no established emotional base in me for these events/activities. There is no emotional context.

  Today I give gifts when I want to and when they are needed. Some people find that odd because the gifting isn't on some preordained, predictable schedule. I figure they'll get over it. So far, no one has refused a gift at "odd times."

  To some degreee, you and your wife may feel like strangers in a strange land for quite a while. Grow comfortable with it, make it YOUR "tradition."