My Family

by alice.in.wonderland 209 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

• 

  ruruj

  Like it hasn't escaped my notice that people here try and directly relate Jehovah's Witnesses and abuse like there's an inherit connection? Based on what? Something the Bible says?

  To oversimplify for you - the connection is the intense pressure for JWs to conform to Watchtower demands (X) invokes the worst emotional/mental/spiritual scenarios. Formula: JW + (X) = (worst emotional/mental/spiritual scenarios). For your case ... abuse.

  The Bible has many laws and principles. But none of them are directly addressed to you or your Dad. In this case, since you live in the real world you are subject to reality and NOT ONLY your faith (Heb 11:1).

  JWs are a spiritual nation within real nations of vast cultures and diversities. The big problem here that the Governing Body constantly ignores is - in this world the Watchtower enforced principles (including policies), according to its own Bible intepretations, has time and again failed when it comes to various realities or circumstances.

  Your Dad should have NOT been appointed as elder in the first place. Since it has happened already, then he should step down and seek help for his past issues. In fact he should seek professional counselling - the ones he could sue, and not the quack psychologists at the KH. You should forgive him especially when he recognizes his issues. BTW, if he persists in the abuse, please call the real authorities.

  And you young lady don't self-flagellate. Recognize the problems, avoid or solve them if possible.

  Please read my carefully worded posts. These problems do happen in this world, but it also does happen to JW families. And it is even worse, because you are trying your best to fit all the Watchtower interpreted Bible principles into your life.
  
  As JW I ask you this, according to Matthew 11:28-30, does Watchtower's guidance make your life's burden really lighter? If not then the Watchtower has failed to be the slave Jesus was asking for, because it has failed to be the model for the Christ.
• 

  Essan

  Alice, thanks for posting that.

  It's horrible to grow up in a family where there is violence, even if it doesn't happen to you and even if it doesn't happen all the time. The fear of it and the threat of it is constant, even if the incidents are not. And it can cause real havoc psychologically and emotionally to be required to ignore and remain silent about things which even as children we know on some level are deeply wrong, even if we are persuaded by lying parents that they "aren't wrong" really.

  I hope you won't see this as insensitive, although I think you have a thick enough skin to take it, but that post really gives a great insight into you.

  Let's look at it.

  There is a rather cruel and sometimes abusive Father figure overseeing a quite fearful and suppressed household.

  He hurt your family, your brothers and sisters. Some times were good, you felt. But the problems were always there, below the surface. Ignored.

  One day, one of your sisters speaks out about the abuse, not willing to take it any longer.

  You understandably have some fear of and loyalty to your Father Figure. So, when his wrongdoing is exposed, he finds a way to tell you that black is white, and that wrong is not wrong. You were taught to accept and defend a lie, to accept meaningless doublespeak and suppress your own inate understanding of right and wrong and of the obvious, in order to protect your Father Figure and your relationship to him.

  No doubt your brothers and sisters, hurt by the abuse, are stunned and hurt by your actions in going along with a lie, but you're only doing what you were trained to do.

  Much later, the cloud of deception and manipulation finally began to lift from your mind and you were strong enough to confront and therefore risk your relationship with your Father Figure because you knew what he had done was wrong, how he had treated your brothers and sisters, how he had lied and manipulated you and how he had trained you to accept doublespeak and lie on his behalf. Yet he refuses to accept or acknowledge his error.

  Do you see the pattern?

  One day, this same scenario will be played out on a larger scale. You can't forever believe the doublespeak and lies of your Father Figure the Watchtower Society, as they defend their reputation by hiding their their wrongdoing over the decades, nor present their lies and doublespeak to others as a defense on their behalf, claiming "abuse is not abuse", nor deny what your own eyes and ears and heart tell you, nor tolerate the cruel abuse of your 'Brothers and Sisters' at their hand, and not just the toleration of sexual abuse, but abusive treatment of all kinds, mental, emotional and physical, some even leading to needless deaths.

  Not forever. One day you will have to face it and confront 'him'

  It will be hard. But you know you can do it, because you already have.

  You were the victim in the scenario you described, just as your sister was, but in different ways. The same is true in the scenario described above and I suppose that it would be good for us here to remember that.
• 

  Darth plaugeis

  clever

  
  
  
  
• 

  DaCheech

  What Palmtree & StAnn said. Alice, can you prove these claims? Was the abuse reported to the authorities and the perp convicted? Where can I find docs online to support these allegations? If there's no proof, then this is all bullshit. Considering what some have endured here, your little play for sympathy and appeal to the trust of decent people is a joke. Poor baby. Some may have sympathy for you but I know your kind. Reap what you've sown.

  who seconds, and corfirms this resolution? (dacheech seconds it, and xxxx confirms)
• 

  Snoozy

  When you are raised in a hostile environment, often that person is not trusting of others..

  Thus the hostility and disbelief of others even tho they themselves may be telling the truth.

  Being around JW's I found that I was negative in my speech quite often. It took and still takes special care to NOT be that way. It was part of my life for so long that sometimes you are negative and don't even realize it until someone points it out to you.

  Sometimes it was and is embarrasing..

  Sometimes the anger of the way you were raised is hard to let go.

  It comes out in many ways when we deal with other people, often without us even knowing it.

  That's why we should cut each other some slack, and we should also take constructive criticism to heart.

  JMO Snoozy..
• 

  Lozhasleft

  @Poopsiecakes - Cheers maybe we should hit the wine???

  Loz x
• 

  Mary

  AIW said: my father explained to me why what is physical abuse, "isn't" physical abuse. In other words, I was taught to lie. So, when the elders returned and questioned me about the alleged abuse, that's what I did.

  This statement actually explains alot. You were taught at a very young age to ignore the obvious, lie about it and say 'it never happened.' A theme which you have obviously carried over into adulthood and have demonstrated on this very board. You have been shown plenty of evidence that child abuse has and does go on in the Organization. You've heard first hand accounts of it from people like St. Ann, Lady Lee and Avashai. Yet because your JW father taught to you lie and ignore the obvious (even when it's staring you straight in the face), you're simply carrying on a very bad habit and are trying to foister your lies onto others by either ignoring their posts, or insinuating that they must not be telling the whole story and that the Organization really hasn't covered anything up.

  In other words, dear old dad turned you into a pathological liar. How many of the following best describes Alice:

  •Lies when it is very easy to tell the truth.
  •Lies to get sympathy, to look better, to save their butt, etc.
  •Fools people at first but once they get to know him, no one believes anything they ever say.
  •May have a personality disorder.
  •Extremely manipulative.
  •Has been caught in lies repeatedly.
  •Never fesses up to the lies.
  •Is a legend in their own mind

  Perhaps you should spend less time on here Alice, and spend a bit more time seeking professional help with your problems.
• 

  isaacaustin

  I could not agree more Mary.
• 

  Twitch

  What Mary said.

  Reminds me of someone I used to know, very similar in fact.
• 

  mrsjones5

  Mary, you hit it exacty on the head.