doctrine / reality clash.
Thats what got me out.
The WT is saying I SHOULD feel such and such a way, but Im actually feeling the opposite way.
Eventually I had to decide to either trust my own feelings or totally submit to the Totalisms voice.
Honest Research: Why?
by Adonai438 16 Replies latest jw friends
-
refiners fire
-
DakotaRed
I guess my experience is the opposite of most of the others I hear. In my case, I was continually accused of abusing my stepkids, even though there was no abuse going on. I have three emotionally disturbed stepkids, all JWs, all on antidepressants. Any time they did not get their way or I grounded them, I caught hell for abusing them. No form of discipline was acceptable, it seemed I was supposed to kiss the kids asses.
The boy was probably the worst at the time. He decided he was the man of the house at 8 and actually got the support of the elders over me. One elder actually called me a liar when I asked them not listen, but to help me combat his manipulations. One night,after he had turned 13, he was being especially bratty and I had a hold of his shoulder. He squirmed and pulled away from me, leaving a very small mark on his shoulder, about half the size of my thumb. The next night, at the wifes book study (I had been inactive for about 4 years by this time) an elder and two "sisters" spirited him away from his Mom and took him to a bedroom at the house. Of course, he had already told them I beat him. Believe it or not, they took pictures of this supposed bruise as evidence! Incidentally, he tried to get the school to report the incident to CPS the next day, but his counselor could not find this bruise and refused.
The following friday, the same elder called me and said he was investigating my abusing the boy. Naturally, I was offended at this being the only help and contact I ever got from the elder body. When I asked for help, they told me they could not interfere in families, yeah, right! I said they could come by Saturday and they did. From the get go, it was a set up to provoke an angry reaction me and accuse me of being wrathful and DF me, although I had been inactive for about 5 years, contrary to what even the elders manual says.
When they came in, I was busy in another room for about the first 10 minutes. They deliberately waited until I got into the room to turn to the wife, in my presence, and ask if it were alright to open with prayer. If that wasn't a deliberate slap at me, I don't know what is. Of course, I called them on that and they agreed that even though inactive, I was still the head of the house.
During the course of the visit, even the boy admitted he exagerates to make me look bad to others and to get his way. They totally ignored it and kept on trying to set me off. I was told that my using the internet was directly against what the Watchtower teaches and when I challenged them to show me the article forbidding it, I was told that to properly understand the WT, you have to read between the lines. I'm sure others have heard similar things.
I informed them that I was grown man, had survived two tours in Vietnam and two previous marriages that ended when I caught my former wives in adulterous relationships and didn't need someone telling me how to properly live my life. What I needed from them and never got, was some support to get the children to mind their Mom, as she was ill prepared to guide and discipline them. She was prone to blow-up at them and almost did abuse them. I also informed them that I had raised two daughters to adulthood, as a single Dad and that I think I had a handle on the way children should behave. They told me that since my grown daughters were not JWs, none of that mattered.
When I told them that I had grounded the boy from attending the KH, util such time as he started minding and behaving properly, they went off on me about my violating the "scriptural commandment" of meeting attendance. When I said that was not a cammandment, but a principle, since the word commandment is not in the scriptures at Hebrews 10:25, he arrogantly informed me that he knew his scriptures and I had better not challenge him. I then told him that a true Christian is identified by compliance with John 13:34,35. What was laughable, afetr bragging about how well he knew scriptures, he had no idea what John 13:34, 35 said.
I am not one to take much crap off of people, underservably, so by now, I was getting pretty hot under the collar. I mentioned they should leave and they got up to go. As they got to the door, one turned to the other and said, "I guess we found out what we came over to find out!" That is when I lost it and bodily shoved them out the door, throwing a few choice four letter words at them, as they went.
I relayed the above, and the rest I didn't mention, to the WTBS in a letter, the same day. Two weeks later, I received a certified letter, very poorly written, I might add, informing me of the convening of a Judicial Hearing to address my being prone to wrath. This after being inactive for five years? I wrote back a three page letter telling them of the reasons they were in violation of scriptures, Watchtower literature, and even the elders manual and that I refused to attend any such hearing, until they followed the proper channels and procedures as outlined in scriptures and the elders manual. I also said I would not attend any meetings or cooperate ijn any investigations headed by the elders that came out to my house, as they were the instigators of matter (both were sitting on this committee and I felt that it was nothng more than a kangaroo court).
A couple months later, I received a curt reply from the Watchtower about my letter I sent, basically telling me that they were looking into it. Of course, they swept the whole matter under the rug and never looked at anything. Not one person, from the Watchtower or the Kingdom Hall has ever questioned me or any member of the family about what transpired that day. So, I can only surmise that they never intended to.
I disassociated a short time later staing that since love was the sign of a true Christian, as stated by Jesus at John 13:34,35 and since I had received no love, only a witch hunt condemnation from the JWs, I could not allow myself to be associated with them.
Even that hsn't stopped them, but now, they have absolutely no power over me (actually, they never did, but didn't know that). What was funny, though, was that I indadvertantly forgot to sign my DA letter. After they announced my Disassociation publicly, two elders came by one Saturday asking for the signature, telling me it wasn't legal without the signature. I told them It was leagl enough to announce, so not to worry abut it. Again, one said that the "Faithful and Descreet Slave" required me to give them signature. I answered that if he wanted it bad enough, he could by and get it himself. I never saw two elders beat feet getting out my door in such a huff before. They have never been back.
The wife switched congregations a short time later, but I see the smae crap coming from them, even though she doesn't.
It truly amazes me how I read of so many instances of things being swept under the rug, but that I was used in a witch hunt. During this same time, CPS investigated me thorougly and found no abuse. They even told the kids to start minding, something the JWs never even did.
Sorry about rambling on and making this so long, but believe it or not, I cut the happenings of that day short. In the future, I'll try to be not so long winded.
If God's Spirit is filling a Kingdom Hall, how is it that Satan can manuever the ones within that Kingdom Hall at the same time?
-
Adonai438
Who is trying to apologize for rambling? Obviously yo don't read my posts much I am interested in whatever you have to say and I take time to read it all- Thanks guys & keep it comming
-
its_my_life2001ca
When I first left, it was not over doctrinal issues either but my eyes were later opened after reading C of C. I guess loneliness was one problem for me. No one had time for anyone else and I was wondering what happened to the love we were supposed to be noted for.There were cliques in our congregation and a disparity in justice. If you had a problem with an elder, you were supposed to be patient and wait on Jehovah. If a publisher was the problem, it seemed like they were ripped through the tribunal in no time. Also, service was discouraging, days at a time speaking to no one and feeling there were better ways of spending my time but accomplishing as much good. I also got tired of having to explain why I missed a meeting or wasn;t at the service arrangement... feeling like a kid who has to justify everything they do and not enjoying life as it came.I guess what it all comes down to was they took my joy away from serving God and made everything a burden. You only have a small pool from which to select your prospective mates and even your friends and if there's no one among them that you 'click with' then tough luck.
-
teenyuck
DakotaRed,
Wrath?!
What a joke. As you said, they are kangaroo courts.
Glad you joined. All the new voices and experiences are great to read.
Hopefully, your wife will see the light!
-
DakotaRed
puffsrule to DakotaRed,
Wrath?!
What a joke. As you said, they are kangaroo courts.
Glad you joined. All the new voices and experiences are great to read.
Hopefully, your wife will see the light!
Hi Puffs and thanks. I have to laugh that they accused me of being wrathful too, after deliberately proking a confrontation. Do they honestly think a man is going to be a mouse to them in his own house? I never have heard anything back on my refusal to attend their meeting, maybe because I threatened legal action for them blatantly violating thier own literature, especially the elders manual. I think they are shocked that I had copied it from the web and printed it out and used it against them.
If the wife doesn't see the light, it is of no real concern to me. She is ticked off at me for telling JWs to stay off my property if they desire to shun me in my own house. I don't care if they shun me the rest of the time, but I'll be damned if they are going to come in my house, use the materials I supply, take advantage of my hospitality, partake of the refreshments I supply and use my cable TV, computer, acquired library and such, and then look down their noises at me too.
If the dubs can supply her with a better husband who will provide as much as I do, then I say go for it. As for me, if that happens, I will look for a woman who wishes to be my equal and walk alongside me in life, not alongside the Watchtower first.
Funny, though, her and her kids want so little to do with me, but when she gets horney or hungry, quess where she turns? Sure isn't the Kingdom Hall.
If God's Spirit is filling a Kingdom Hall, how is it that Satan can manuever the ones within that Kingdom Hall at the same time?
-
Adonai438
Thought it only fair I post mine
I left after a year of 'studying' because their beliefs did not match up with the Bible. When I asked about it they said just trust the org. and I bought that for awhile. Not long though because I had started on that darned "independant thinking and Bible reading" track and could not stop. I had to be honest with myself and to God that I couldn't pick what the Bible says I had to follow it.
VIOLA! New person!