Looking back I Missed out on a lot (page 2)

brotherdan

I too experienced this. It turned me into a freakish loner at school. But instead of being bitter now, I'm excited to introduce my kids to a life full of activity and excitement.

My son is 5 and is a gymnastics class. We are getting him started in Hockey for the next season. My wife, while a JW, disagrees with them saying that children shouldn't have extra activities because of "bad association" or "using time that could be used for spiritual things".

The whole "making more time for spiritual things" was a real joke. When did I EVER come home from school to study or read the bible? Never. Instead of have friends I played video games and watched TV. I think that has, in one degree or another, affected my life now. I'm happy to be alone and not have friends. I love being with people, hanging out, drinking beer, whatever. But my childhood really socially retarded me.

I refuse to let that happen to my kids!

miseryloveselders

My experiences turned me into a loner too. Nice knowing we're not alone. Strange to grow up a JW when reflecting on it all. For some it was torture I guess. Like I say nowadays, devout JW parents who decide to have children are some of the cruelest bastards walking this planet.

cult classic

It can be quite painful looking back and realizing what was done to us. Normal socialization was replaced by the most bizarre anti-social life imaginable. If you were aware of how odd you were , it was like living in a personal hell. And to think we were trained to berate ourselves when we felt ashamed or embarrassed about being a witness...

VoidEater

The best response to a painful past is to live a full life now.

At 50, I have done everything I never got to do. I've acted on stage and in film, I've composed, recorded and performed live music, I've had fast cars and played sports.

I've been to and hosted birthday parties, given and received Christmas gifts, decorated for Halloween.

I've read religious texts, participated in diverse rituals, stopped going to meetings, dropped the bad associations of my hypocritical peers, treated most everyone I meet as worthy of dignity, respect and friendship.

I've loved fully and been fully loved, just for who I am, just the way I am.

None of this would have been possible without sixofnine's advice: is this really hurting anyone, or myself? Or, am I just programmed to be afraid?

The Rocky Horror Picture Show should be required watching. "Don't dream it, be it!"

cult classic

I love that advice VoidEater.

lil.lady.03

thank void eater! That's a good thought. I am doing things I've always wanted to do.

They funny thing is, we're taught we have forever but I have alwsy felt like I'm running out of time to live my life now. Literally last year around this time when I was thinking about going back to school, I felt like I've been putting off MY goals for so long. And for what? The great day that is near? The same great day that was near 20 years ago, the same great day that will be near tomorrow, in six months, 5 years, and maybe longer?

I don't know when or why but I decided 'hay when that great day comes, I'm still going to be the same person in a painting class with the same feelings.' I gotta do me at some point. I don't want to be a pent up frustrated nut shell on medz by the time I'm 30.

VoidEater

^ That's brilliant.

We only know that we have right now.

simon17

I had a pretty relaxed JW life... I guess living in a metropolitan area made JW's very "worldly" in what was acceptable. I had alot of friends, although I started dating after HS which was still ok. Earlier would probably have given more experiences. Went to 4 years of college so I had those experiences, although obviously I did not live on campus. I have to say, that I really miss the opportunity to play sports. I'm not sure I'd be very good but I have the competative drive that I think would at least make me excel in HS sports. Also, in college years, i got into moderate "trouble" by JW standards, such as a drunken night here or there, etc. Those are probably among my favorite memories I've had in life... I regret not having a few more. Would have liked to have gone to a few frat parties, just to see what they were like, and the like. Overall, I can't say I can complain. I was kept away from things that were harmful (smoking, drugs, etc), so losing a few things that were not harmful but still having a rather full and fun youth is certainly not something I'm going to be bitter about.

I feel bad for anyone that missed that. Skipping school with your buddies. Getting drunk at a concert. All the fun stuff of youth, you're not really going to get a chance to do again, even if you vow to make up for lost time. #1, you probably don't want to do some of that stupid stuff. #2, being a bunch of crazy 17 year olds is just a different feeling that being a bunch of crazy 50 year olds. I had enough to be happy with my life so far. But also enough to know a little bit more wouldn't have been a bad thing ;)

lil.lady.03

That's the thing simon17 I live in a big city too. I started drinking before 21 and going out to parties with JW kids that were not in my hall. Most of JWs in my hall are super goody goody. And that was what I was trying to achieve but I never got in. But the ones who supplied the booze and had parites were all in different congregations. I was so shocked at first. We weren't supposed to do this? These kids were mostly elder's children going out to clubs and such. I was a little upset at the double standard, but I started having too much fun to care.

The thing that got to me the most were that these kids could whatever they want saturday night as long as the showed up for the meeting sunday, even if they weren't sober. One kid told me his dad said "do whatever you want, but just be at the meeting and up for service when its time." His dad is pretty cool, but that isn't how everyone thinks.

I know the only reason why my mom was so lax later with me in high school and now was because of the tight control she lost with my brother. In a way he paved the way for me! My mom has even said I can't control you guys anymore, do what you want but be careful. And Every time she says that to me I always respond with the line from the moses drama tape, "YOU BE CAREFUL ISIS YOU BE CAREFUL! IF WHAT YOU SAID GETS BACK TO PHARAOH, WE'LL ALL BE THORWN TO THE CROCODILES." We both start laughing at that point.

serenitynow!

I don't want to be a pent up frustrated nut shell on medz by the time I'm 30.

Lil lady, that cut like a knife!

FYI if you get on the right combo of meds that can keep you from being a "pent up frustrated nut shell."

Looking back I Missed out on a lot

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