I had the exact conversation with my mom two weeks ago.....The result was she said I sounded like an apostate. Therefore it was in one ear and out the other for her...she has no love nor does she know how to be a mother, but she know how to be a Jerkhobah's Witless.
Email I sent to mom after huge fight today
by meangirl 47 Replies latest jw experiences
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Ding
I don't know if this will help, but you might say to your mother, "You said that you have always asked Jehovah to show you if the Watchtower religion isn't the truth. Suppose He wanted to show you that. How would He do it? Wouldn't He bring to your attention things that are unfavorable to the organization? Maybe from earlier publications? Maybe from someone leaving the GB and writing about all the things he knew that weren't right? Why won't you consider that? What would Jehovah have to do to answer your prayer and show you it's not the truth?"
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letsslatejws
@ Ding, I like your questions there. Very thought provoking & very logical.....
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its_me!
Meangirl-- I envy your courage. I have been keeping my feelings about being raised in the JW religion a secret. My mother hardly ever calls me, but when she does, we politely skirt around the issue of my inactivity, and talk about day to day things. I want so badly to tell her the things I have learned, but I just don't have the guts. Bravo for you!
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exwhyzee
It sounds like your Mom, upon looking back and also from your letter, does realize how things must have been for you. The part where you said you were a normal kid in school with friends and were able to join in things one year and the next year you couldn't do anything, really got to me. I grew up as a Witness but I think it would be much worse to have been pulled into it midstream like you were. It never occured to me before, how hard it would be to be a the child of a newly recruited one.
If your Mom really does understand your position, I hope the whole JW thing won't be an issue anymore between you. For better or for worse, you only get one Mom and I suspect you both love eachother very much. Going to a Counselor is probably a good idea but nothing beats having Mother acknowledge the validity of your complaints. Much of the difficulty one has in getting over this religion is that it is so faceless. There is no "They". Nobody wants to hear anything that might indicate their perfect belief system may be flawed.
Give Mom and yourself time...don't let this religion ruin or take away any more from you than it already has.
Press-on Meangirl.... all is not lost....glad you have a husband and daughter of your own...many would love to be in your shoes!
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meangirl
Wow I was surprised to see my post is active. Thanks for all the replies everybody.
Debator,
Of course parents will raise their children as to their belief system. I get that. What I don't get is the fact that my life changed so dramatically overnight. Literally in the 7th grade I was a cheerleader, had good friends, an honor student and very happy. That summer my mom had studied and gotten baptized. Then with no warning holidays snatched away, my birthday, cheerleading, all my friends gone. My father was not baptized and so this was all my mom's doing. So is that normal? Is it also normal to take a 13 year old who had never been to church maybe twice in her whole life and force her then to attend meetings three times a week and also not only to be in the car out in field service but smile. If I didn't smile my mom would pull me aside and say stuff like if you don't straighten up and smile I am going to give you something to really be unhappy about, etc. Instead she should have showed me God's wonderful qualities and that He is a God of Joy who wants his people to be happy. To force these unscriptural man made rules down my throat and force to completely change my life was not fair at all. I never had a choice. Debator you are ignorant and don't know what you are talking about. You are probably a pathetic looser pioneer who comes on here to count time. I know you. I have seen your kind before. You are a Pharisee who thrives on rules and regulations and have no fellow feeling. In other words you are going to make the perfect elder one day and that is why you are such a great pioneer right now!
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ninetynine
meangirl thank you for posting your story, this kinda hit home.
I think we are starting to see a mass backlash from our generation who had parents who got the truth, and for some reason became fanatical, and pushed their fanatasism on to their kids, and as kids we had no choice, kids naturally want the love of their parents, we want them to be proud of us, in a JW family that means getting baptised and becoming a pioneer, we did these things for parental approval, and no matter what any prim and propper witness says they know deep down what i am saying is very true.
Parents are meant to have unconditional love, but i just don't see that in the JW's, it seems the more spiritual you are the more love they have for you.
much love to you
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debator
Hi Meangirl
At least you agree a parent will bring up their child in their belief!
I think there are ways around the culture shock from a massive change in lifestyles. While celebrating Birthdays and Christimas is not our culture. What we can do is have lots of parties/gatherings especially with children and people from the congregation building up relationships and having loads of fun doing it. Presents given at any time out of love and encouragement can also be used productively rather than at sets times from the previous culture. Have alternate social activities replacing any lost ones.
Rather than just drag a reluntant child on the ministry, take time to build up there knowledge in jehovah and you may have them wanted to go on the ministry. The family Bible study I think is recognising that we have to take time to answer our childrens questions on God recognising their spiritual need.
Being a witness doesn't mean you stop being a loving parent and it can be done smoothly whatever the child's age.
I agree your mum should have emphasised Jehovah's loving qualities but she is not here to defend herself and so I can only go with your opinion of your mum which seems to be the biggest issue.
It isn't easy but thats because Witnesses are one of the few Christian religions were believing in God is a life choice (In the pattern of early Christians) rather than a hobby that barely intrudes in the rest of your life.
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MMXIV
MeanGirl, great response from your mum. No huge apology but a lot said for a JW. You're spot on with what you said about debator.
What we can do is have lots of parties/gatherings especially with children and people from the congregation building up relationships and having loads of fun doing it. Presents given at any time out of love and encouragement can also be used productively rather than at sets times from the previous culture. Have alternate social activities replacing any lost ones.
Now what congregation did you go to where you had lot's of parties, loads of fun? Was that the same congregation where you stroked the tigers and petted the pandas? You never went to a KH when you were young and if you did you're talking total bs right now.
It isn't easy but thats because Witnesses are one of the few Christian religions were believing in God is a life choice (In the pattern of early Christians) rather than a hobby that barely intrudes in the rest of your life
I think if you read the lines that MeanGirl wrote instead of inbetween them, like most young JW's, MeanGirl didn't make that life choice - it was forced upon her.
mmxiv
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debator
Hi MMXIV
She was a child and children are bought up under their parents decisions. That is simply a fact of life! but once she became an adult she got that freewill of choice.
You cannot abdicate your responsibility as a parent.