Look back at your post and see how much you missed out on in your past due to guilt, a waste of an emotion. The books already suggested, Crisis of Conscience and Combatting Cult Mind Control will help you to learn that the Watchtower is not Jehovah and that you can overcome mind control. But there's a third book I'd like to recommend to you. It was mentioned by one exjw for another exjw I know, and it seems to have really helped both of them. It's called the "Feeling Good Handbook". If you Google it, you can get a copy for as little as $6, which includes shipping. The Watchtower causes so much depression, fear and guilt that I think it's necessary for many exiting and exjws to help themselves reshape the warped thinking that was hammered into them as children.
If/when you decide to live like a normal person and give your kids the typical childhoold experience, you may get a lot of flack from jw family members and even be df'd and shunned. But when it all comes down to it, nobody else matters a damn but your kids. You might as well start with the small things like holidays, because, God Forbid, what if you ever have to deal with the blood issue? Just about everything you learned as a jw is false. Holidays are no more pagan as the names of the days of the week and months of the year. Did you know that wearing lipstick has pagan origins? The pagan prostitutes would rub berries on their lips to symbolize that they were willing to perform oral sex for their customers. Is that what wearing lipstick means today? No, of course not, and you see jw women wearing lipstick all the time. What about the wedding traditions like the bride wearing white, the exchange of rings, etc? All of those things have pagan origins. Don't even get me started on the blood issue, but if you want to know more about it, go to http://www.ajwrb.org/ .
My dear girl, you aren't the first person to come to this board with these questions, and you won't be the last. You are definitely not alone! Welcome to JWN. You're gonna learn a lot here, and it will result in a happier life for you and your husband and precious children. Have at it and have fun doing it!