LITTLE IMP- Thanks for the compliment to us as a group of people. Most of us here have stopped attending meetings and have broadened out in our networking of friendships to include many non-witnesses who aren't stuck in the grind of cult mind control. So it helps us to have a more full spectrum of views of what unconditional REAL friendships are about. People who accept you for who you are - not based on whether you attended a meeting, went out in service, or raised your hand at a meeting. Real friendships are possible outside the witnesses . It's NOT like you were told while inside the witnesses
Why wasn't there anyone as nice as you guys in my KH?
by Little Imp 15 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
undercover
I knew some really nice people in the JW religion. But as nice as they were, there was always some sense of being judged for everything we did and said.
Rare was the friendship were you didn't feel like you were walking on eggshells or having to be careful about what you said or how you said it or saying too much about what you think or sharing too much on what you were doing the night before.
Not so rare were over-righteous and critical people always looking to find fault with everything in sight.
Years of living on edge and avoiding making trouble with people that you had to deal with on almost a daily basis will wear you down. And then when you find freedom from that and realize that the "world" isn't as ugly as you were led to believe, you start to see "worldly" people not as evil, hateful sinners but as normal, nice people.
And for the most part - they're more well-adjusted than the average JW. We have to admit it in order to cure ourselves of the cult's influence...many a JW is a twisted bundle of neuroses.
-
Little Imp
Thanks for all your replies. Something else I have noticed is that everyone on here seems to have gained more wisdom of people and life than the average person so surely that is a positive that has come from having once been a JW.
This site is brilliant, friends any time of the day or night to talk to and collectively so much knowledge.
Thank you.
-
lovelylil2
imp,
I wondered the same thing once I broke out of the borg. I kept waiting to meet all the evil, devil worshipping apostates and worldly people who would devour my soul like the WT says but have yet to meet even one! Been out 7 years and have met many nice caring people who are more concerned about me and my family then anyone I ever knew in the hall. My family was in the same hall for a decade and we could not count on one hand even any real friends who were a support to us in any way.
As a matter of fact, while in that hall my brother in law passed away at only 38, which was devastating to my hubby and both my parents died of cancer and NOT ONE member of the kh sent a card, called to see if we were ok or offered any support. WHY?? because none of our relatives were JW's! They acted as if their deaths did not matter at all.
Most of the witnesses I knew were mean spirited gossipers a who were only concerned about themselves. I even had an elder's wife hang up the phone on me after I told her I was thinking about hurting or killing myself. She lived across the street and didn't even bother to walk over and see if I was ok. I also had 2 young kids home at the time.
I think JW's become very hard hearted and disconnected with all reality and people after they are in the borg for a while. Its too bad really and very sad situation. Peace, Lilly
-
Black Sheep
When I first started attending the KH I was newly married and had moved to a new area over an hour away from my nearest family and friends. I was excited about going (believing it would be similar to churches I had attended in the past) and thought it would be a good way to make new friends.
How wrong was I, no-one seemed to have any personality or sense of humour.
The Dubs that mix with my family are a very friendly bunch, very sociable, great sense of humour. Very nice people until you push the wrong buttons. What you experienced is possibly regional. I have often heard people moving into my small-town congregations describing their previous city congregation as 'cold'.
-
WTWizard
When I was a witless, it was all about pio-sneering. The idiot that dragged me into the cancer wanted me to be a super pio-sneer, and to have zero tolerance for anything worth having. He probably wanted me to join the Value Destroyer Training School, and definitely he wanted me to be his property. The whole group he dragged into the cancer all ganged up on me, not taking no for an answer to pio-sneer. It got so I could never pio-sneer, because it would have been for them and therefore, not count. Even worse, something tells me that this dingbat may have been trying to set me up with his 8 year old nephew, which should have blown any "friendship" with this scumbag had he succeeded. (He failed, I believe, simply because I didn't move into the apartment complex he started managing when he wanted me to.)
Others in the congregation were also intolerant of anything except field circus and boasting sessions. You get into a discussion, and you never know when they are going to go off. And, there had to be specific rules dictating every little movement while out in field circus, as if I was nothing more than a robot doing this. Only when in agreement with their doctrines was there any harmony--never did you hear anything good about the holidays, the world, or anything therein without a talk coming during the Circus Meeting condemning such.
Once in the world, I find that most people do not bash those of other religions. I work in a place with both atheists and Christians, and seem to have little difficulty because of their religions. In my apartment complex, there are people of all religions--some are Catholics, some are Protestants, some are not affiliated--and yet not one of them has bashed my putting Halloween lights and things like ghosts, witches, and pumpkin displays. And, on these boards, we have a mix of active witlesses that do not believe in the religion, Christians, and atheists--and those in between. Yet, even among the Devil worshipers, I do not find the kind of bigotry and intolerance found in the Kingdumb Hell.