by elderelite 46 Replies latest jw experiences
I left the WTS after a moment of clarity at a circuit assembly:
1) the "sheep" being compared to a baby elephant chained to a stake who grew big enough to pull up the stake but was conditioned not to.
2) kissing non-jw mates compared to kissing a corpse
3) the value of the sheep to Jesus being compared to a dirty penny which he would not pick up and a shiny quarter he would pick up.
Told my husband we were leaving and that was the last for me...fairly painless...hubbie followed shortly after.
When I read a book about a FLDS member who escaped. That provided lots of clarity.
@blondie, I have certainly heard some dozy's before, but those are just plain dumb (the illistrations, not you)! Heard one recently where, and I am not making this up.. (in fact I have it recorded) where a brother read the scripture in acts that just before Jesus assention to heaven. The apostles asked if he was restoring the kingdom at that time. He paused and asked the audiance "now if the apsotles had taught others that Jesus was restoring the kingdom litterally on earth right then, would they have been wrong... NO!! they taught the truth as they understood it, and altough it needed to be clarified, they were not wrong". seriously. I have it recorded.
@momalove, I recall reading in "in search of christian freedom" where Ray quoted Hassmin's experiance... i though he was a JW until the rest was revealed. That opened my eyes too in showing me that what we feel and experiance is NOT unique as JW's
When I first held my baby, he looked like an angel, and I knew that there was nothing in this world that was more important to me than him. No one would convince me that shunning him was an act of love, or denying him a blood transfusion was the best thing to do.
Then I researched how the organization was started, and once I realized this wasn't God's chosen organization like I thought, I could see clearly for the first time in my life.
I had a moment of clarity when somebody gave consent for their dead relatives heart to be donated-which means that my mother is still with us today and as healthy as can be.
The clarity - there are people in this world that are full of love and fellow feeling, search for and learn from them. (quite emotional now) !
It is a moment so profound it changes you, not just in that insant, but in every instant you recall it. It's effect dosent deminish over time. Its a moment you are able to live over and over
Yes. I've had experiences like that. Both good and bad.
Momenet of clarity, sitting in an elders meeting, being told by the CO that the policy files should always be on hand, as should our copies of the flock book and organised book. His words "that's all you need as an elder in order to care for the congregation".
I was thinking "What about the bible?"and it dawned on me "we are NOT appointed by spirit"
My moment of clarity came when my little dog (15 years old) fell down a flight of stairs and broke his back. While I cradled him as he lay dying I sobbed my heart out as I had never done before, (not even at my father's funeral). It was then that it suddenly occurred to me that god didn't exist. If I simply couldn't bear to watch the suffering of this insignificant animal, then how can Jehovah passively sit and watch this s**t-storm we call life, with all of the unbearable suffering that goes on daily. I don't have kids (a sacrifice for Jehovah that I made), so this was a big deal for me. I think I maybe attended about 3 meetings after this, then just gave it all up. I'm 7 years clean.
Another moment of clarity was recently when I was browsing the net for 'interesting' stuff, and came across a video made by Richard Dawkins, where they do an autopsy on a Giraffe, to demonstrate how long its' Laryngeal nerve is. About 15 feet long, when it needed to be only about a couple of inches. (It travels from the brain, down the neck, wraps round the heart and comes back up to the throat. NOT intelligent design). I remember just sitting there, open-mouthed...rueing how dumb I had been for 20-odd years never questioning any of the drivel that comes out of the watchtower's mouth. This generation just don't know how lucky they are to have the internet, and be able to question everything and get solid answers.
I've had two. My first I was on a trip with my ex, it was supposed to be a romantic weekend at the beach. He said something that just struck me as kind of stupid. I thought, I don't know this man, I don't love this man, I don't even like this man. I realized I couldn't live like this the rest of my life. It was very clear to me. It was hard after 28 years of marriage and the JW brainwashing. I knew I had to leave, but it was hard. This went on for 6 months.
My second ephiphany was when it hit met hat I had stayed because the org had always said it ALWAYS better to stay married. I realized that was completly stupid, I wasn't better off, my ex wasn't better off, and my kids hadn't been better off. I wasted 28 years of my life, for what? I lost my faith that day. It had been a long time coming, but that was the day that it all came together for me. I left the org, left my ex and never looked back. It was the best thing I ever did.
You asked...! Not to be taken literally...
forty-one
pas de chat
interlude on the train
Allen: I've done everything You asked. Have I not?
God: It is true you have done all that was asked of you. But I wouldn't say I was the one who asked.
Allen: But what about Your Word, the Bible? Did not my parents and the elders read your book to me to show me how to prove myself to you? They said it meant I have to control the evil in my heart.
God: That is one possibility. You read that book. You heard their words. What do you think it means? What do you trust - the voices in your ears or the voice within your soul?
Allen: But if I stop proving myself, who will I be?
God: Just who you always were.
Allen: But who is that? What am I?
God: You are everyone. You are your father, you are Jaye, you are Dwayne, you are your mother, you are Sherrie, you are Toby. You are Timmy and you are Mandy. They are all a part of you. They are all inside of you. You are all of them. You are everyone you’ve ever known; you are everyone there is at this moment.
Allen: I think I see what you are saying...
God: No, not really, but that's okay.
Allen: I can be who I want to be. I can choose.
God (smiling): No. You can only choose to be who you are. You are everything: love, hate, good, evil, joy, sorrow, happiness, pain. You are the process. You are the space in the pencil case. You are the story. You are one possibility.
And you are nothing. Which is the same thing.
Allen: But if I'm everything, what am I not?
God: You are not your body. You are not your personality. You are not your likes and dislikes, your rights and wrongs, the pencil case, the pencil, the lead. You own all these things - they are your toys, your tools.
Allen: So I have a work I must do. With these tools.
God: It is true you have much laid before you, that you may do. But nothing you must do.
Allen: But won't my work define who I am? If I'm everything, don't I have to do everything?
God: If you think so. Do you really think you can do everything? What will I do with all the rest of the people in the world?
Allen: But then tell me! Who am I? What am I?
God: You live in a world that needs a body, an ego, a pencil case, a pen, some ink, a cover. You are the life force in the body, the energy beyond the ego, the vision in the sight, the space in the pencil case, the writing made up of ink and applied by the pen, the story in the book. I am with you. I live in you. I am you, and you are me. We are that we are.
But as soon as I say the words, they are untrue. It cannot be said in words. Words belong to the ego, and you are not ego.
Allen: Then how will I ever know who and what I truly am?
God (laughing): Oh, that. You already know. Your ego is just blind. Go back and read Jesus' words.
Let me show you...
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It was a moment of perfect clarity without doubt or fear or wonder. A moment of perfect Being. The clarity was not in this case knowing what to do, but knowing that nothing must be done. I was free from ego and monkey mind.
I was free of judgment - of myself or others.
I was present in the eternal moment of now.
