by minimus 31 Replies latest jw friends
If you were a male growing up in the congregation, it was EXPECTED that you would "reach out" for a position in the Hall. Some of us did just that and others didn't want any "privileges"!
I knew some people, especially "sisters", that really wanted their relative or good friend to be appointed so they might "change things".
Did you want a friend or relative appointed so that you might garner some influence? Did you aspire to be an elder while you were a zealous Witness?
Well, when I was a MS, I was aspiring to be an elder.
I was told I would make a great Elder..
I told the Elders in no uncertain terms.."I never want to be an Elder"..
My wish came true..
...................... 
...OUTLAW
puh-lease.....
When my son was born I dressed him in onsies that said...
"Future Bethel-Elder"
'Future Special Pioneer'
'Future CO'
'Future DO'
'Future Zone'--- I had lots of fun explaining that one to local Dubs!
____________
Now I dress him in t-shirts that reflect his and his sister's main involvement in 4-H
"Chick-Magnet"
"Chicks Dig Me'
and..... "Bunny Man"
giggles!
I considered it an honor to be an MS and serve. I didn't really think I wanted to be an elder, but I thought Jehovah wanted me to be one, so I accepted.
After I got there, I enjoyed the pats on the back from congregations when I gave a public talk and I enjoyed the feeling of importance for a lowly janitor (true story), but I didn't really need or want to necessarily remain an elder. So, along the way, my "position" was threatened if I put my wife through college or pursued career goals that would cause missing meetings or didn't just fully go along with the other elders on certain matters. But, not really concerned about retaining such title, threats were dismissed. "Go ahead and remove me if you must." They never did. Even when I finally quit as an elder, they tried to talk me out of it, despite my clear "doubts" in the organization and it's Governing Body.
Funny, they begged me to stay on to!
I did not think they would ever make my husband an elder; he was married to me and I was not under control...I was no elder's wife...but they still made him one. We both learned more and more a bout the real way things were handled on the elders body. Thankfully, that motivated us to leave (we might still be there otherwise).
Blondie (never submissive)
I never aspired to be one, but I was doing so much in the congregation that it sorta just fell on me. I remember clearly the night the brothers pulled me to the side during the opening song for the Service Meeting and asked me. Worst decision I ever made in my life, second only to getting baptized into this cancer of a religion. Your right though, as males, we're expected to perform. Your trained from a young age to accept any and everything handed to you. Its so bad in some cases, that the WTS had to print articles encouraging brothers to make sure they're not overextending themselves. I'm thinking to myself you jackasses created the problem by always emphasizing the need to reach out, and doing all we can for Jehovah, and now that brothers are overextending themselves you try to put a bandaid on the compound fracture. Too late idiots.
When I was still at home, as a teenager, my father caught wind of me declining a part on a Circuit Assembly. At the time I just didn't want that kind of pressure. I hated and still hate talking about myself in an interview situation. I vowed after the last interview that I'll never do it again. He was furious. His exact words to me, "PreMisery, your gonna let other brothers pass you up!" Its insane, and looking back I don't 100% blame him. I blame those satanic filthy bastards at Bethel. I'd like to have the power to resurrect Jaracz or Rutherford as a young man in their physical prime. Then I'd go toe to toe with either or both in the middle of the street. I'd whip the skin off of JAracz right in front of Melita. Ruiners of life those men were.
Sisters have it somewhat good I believe in regards to reaching out. All they really have to do is show up and look pretty. With the exception of field service and the pressure to pioneer, sisters have it good. Sticking with the thread topic though, there's a situation in my hall now with a sister promoting her husband. Its going to be interesting the next time the CO comes through. The body as a whole is not keen on recomending this brother as an Elder. For one thing is he's not that learned. He's inexperienced. The other problem is his wife is very ambitious, and very concerned about her appearance before others. Her husband who is a very nice man, lets her run all over him. She at one point was very unaware that part of the reason they weren't appointing him was because of her. Now she's aware and she's had conversations with other brothers making the case that she's a submissive wife. Out of nowhere this woman pulls me to the side and I'm thinking its a serious problem on her mind. No she wanted to make sure that I knew she follows the command of her husband. The whole time I'm thinking to myself this woman is nuts. Yet again, its another monster created by those varments in New York.
In this cancer of a religion one cannot be considered spiritual without a title. Everything is for recognition. It reminds of when Jesus told his disciples not to pray or conduct themselves like the pharisees who liked to be seen and recognized for their positions of authority. Sisters are concerned about how their families are viewed by others, and so they put pressure on themselves and their families to be examples of spiritual families in congregations. A good percentage of the time its not genuine. What it is, is the results of the WT and their ridiculous definition of what a spiritual person or family is to be.
I hated being an elder's daughter for 21 years and the PO's wife for another 21 years. I hated that it meant so much to my father and my ex!!! The congregation always came first - I felt like an orphan and a widow most of my life.
Misery, great post!
Blondie, how are you and hubby doing?
