Theocratic Oddities

by picosito 16 Replies latest jw friends

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  picosito

  *** When asked why she is reading some publication during the meeting instead of paying rapt attention to her husband speaking from the platform, the C.O.'s wife responds, "Oh what the heck, I hear that talk over and over."

  *** When Brother Prominent Elder is asked why he keeps having business dealings with brothers in the congregation (he thus causes lots of problems that the BOE has to keep wasting time on), he replies, "Well, we all have to make a living."

  *** When someone keeps noticing the smell of alcohol on Elder Fulano's breath at the meetings, the official reply is "Well, he has to drink a little wine for his ticker."

  *** When a query is made about why Elder Bastardfile responds to publishers in a harsh way, the response is "That's part of their discipline and refining from Jehovah."

  MAYBE YOU CAN ADD YOUR OWN CONGREGATION ODDITIES TO THIS THREAD.
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  Beans

  I can`t concentrate with that hottie in my face I`ll think of one later!
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  picosito

  Yeah, I'm probably overdoing it with the hottie. I think it's Britney. My apologies.
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  David Gladden

  It's like watching tennis... I keep going back and forth, back and forth...
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  Beans

  OOps I did it again!!!
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  picosito

  Come to think of it, I always felt the severe lack of some activity like my Britney Hottie .gif as part of the otherwise fatally boring Kingdom Hall curriculum. Just think how that kind of performance could have livened up the meetings. Attendance would have been way up, and JW's could have been the most popular religion on the face of the Earth. Too bad, GB. You would have liked it too.
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  ISP

  Hey I got the girl also.....

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  ISP
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  Patriot

  Can she kick her leg up?
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  terafera

  ROTFLMAO... you guys!!!

  Just like men.. start the conversation deeply, then the rest of the posts are gawking at the chic dancing!! Sad!!

  I must confess, I kept watching to see if she was going to do any different moves!! LOL

  God.. I remember fazing out at the meetings too.. staring out the window, nice hot sunny day, looking at families playing outside, biking, going on picnics, while my tight pantyhose rode up my butt and the speaker got nowhere near the end. Looking at the back of my Watchtower..' what paragraph are we on? Okay, and there is 18 paragraphs.. so it will be over in 15 minutes!! WOOHOOOOOOOOO!'

  __________________________________
  Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a
  garage makes you a mechanic.
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  Francois

  Terafera, I know just what you mean. I used to clean my fingernails with a pocket knife. I used to sneak in a Reader's Digest, sit in a corner and read that sucker during the meeting. Never got caught with it either. It's so small, you know. Anything but listen to that crap from the platform, delivered by red-necks, all speaking Bubonics. Jesus the wasted time!!

  Francois