Question for current and former elders

GrandmaJones

i am curious. Were (are) there certains ones in the congregation that elders do not offer counsel to because of family ties, connections, or that the families or characters within that family are outspoken?

yknot

....not an elder....(for obvious genetic reasons)

But personality politics infiltrates all of human society .......even KHs!

Lozhasleft

I'm not quite sure what you're asking exactly Grandma and I'm not an elder nor have ever been lol...if you mean do the elders often back off from counselling ones with 'influential' families in the org ..I would say yes they do...from what I saw they tread carefully in such cases..

Loz x

ProdigalSon

Never an elder myself (thank God!) but yes, like the world at large, it is a hierarchy of politics (whose shit stinks less, not what you know but who you know, etc.)

OnTheWayOut

I would like to say "It depends on circumstances." But reality is that the elders typically do not counsel many people.
Elders' families rarely if ever get the shepherding visits in most congregations. The elders figure there's enough people to shepherd and shorten the list, figuring each elder can shepherd his own family. It causes problems for some wives and children that want to speak out about something. They never get the chance.

Also, I know that strange people hard to deal with are often skipped so they don't have to deal with them.

I imagine some Bethelites could tell you more about how some families or individuals are skipped there.

moshe

For some reason the elders do avoid some JWs. The do love to stomp on the dorrmat types, ie, the JW's who get kicked by the elders and come back for more.

life is to short

I was an elder wife who came from a crazy family, the elders avoided my parents at all costs so as a kid I was treated like I was invisible. My family growing up was so horrible that I clung the to "truth" the older I got I would get scraps of kind words the first ever in my life which feed my belief that this was indeed the true religion.

I married an elder and was treated like crap by the other elders wife. OTWO is right elders wife's never get shepherding visits. I got one to counsel me for falling asleep in service as I was trying to pioneer 90 hours a month and work 35 none of the other wife's worked but I pissed them off so they ran to their dad and husbands and got me in trouble for falling asleep. What ever.

I know of one elders wife who loved to wear push up bras and thong underwear you could totally see everything she had and she had a great body a really great body. The elders looooooooooved her never said a word to her. Her husband loved to show her off. She started a campaign to get all of us sisters to wear thong underwear and if we did't then something was wrong with us, I truly think it was because most of the other sisters were chunky and it would make her look ever better if they all dressed like her. I am not making this up. I never understood why it was allowed to go on like it did. I was like leave me alone, I was not as chunky as most but I did not want to show everything I had. But all the other sisters who were in the hall started to dress like her one elders daughter was 16 and looked like a slut. The elders wife lived that as then she was looking like a teenager. It went on and on. Out in field service it was all that was talked about for awhile. I like really truly we are supposed to be saving lives not pushing thong underwear. My husband did not want to touch it with a ten foot pole. It made going out in service hell.

Looking back it was all so crazy. I was so depressed no wonder.

LITS

caliber

I know of a couple of cases in the past (very far past ) a group of four or more teenagers were all counseled , but strangely

enough only the non- servant children were 'unrepentant " and were disfellowshiped.... the elders children were not !

There is a effort not to announce elders children as disfellowshipped , it could result in deletions & greater work load for the rest of the remaining elders . Again this is only a human thing not an official stance .

This is slightly off topic.. but of related interest I believe !

cantleave

There are some people in the congregation that are just left alone, either they are too wierd to counsel or too bolshy - we had a piioneer sister in our congregation who frightened the hell out of us all - her name was Sue I called her Sue the poo becasue she was a little sh*t.

freddo

Elders are fair and just at all times ... then one of their "little darlings" needs counsel and watch the panties pucker up into a bunch!

I have known elders be very resolute in dealing with "big shot elders" and their lids and I have known elders be incredibly weak and cowardly. It's very political and depends on the mood in your elder body in your congo at the time.

Question for current and former elders

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