Ding: It's just beginning.
I'm free mentally, but there's a long road to travel.
Of course, I read something from Ghandi recently that in Hinduism those who are overly attached to the results of their actions are never satisfied. That, to be happy, we must detach our happiness from the produce of our actions and be satisfied with the actions themselves.
That's my mental focus, HOWEVER --
I played a VERY good act. Right now, no one but my parents know. Next comes whoever they talk to... none of my "friends" know. It will be a scandal... my parents just recently were asked to be in a part on good parenting... because we're the only family who hasn't had disfellowshipped kids yet and all my siblings are finally baptized.
Until now. And I will be the first apostate in at least 10 years from this congregation, maybe more. The first kid to leave because of apostasy, so I imagine it will be a small scandal, behind closed doors. Glad I ain't there in person to experience it.
On a side note...
The freedom came with this massive realization of reading these scriptures that are used to hate on those who leave, and realizing that the scriptures are only talking about those who deny Christ as coming in the flesh. NOT people who leave a hypocritical false prophet religion.
It's so basic, but it's the sort of thing that only people who have been in will understand.